The Magic of Christmas: Christmas Day

Christmas Eve was pretty magical in itself this year. We spent the morning at Ant and Emma's exchanging presents with the girls and speaking to Auntie Judy and Uncle Ian in Australia via Skype. Jamie loved playing with all the girls toys! After a rest in the afternoon we headed off to church for Christingle. This is lovely every year with the fully interactive Christmas story (not the traditional one!) and seeing everyone in the candlelight. Then we headed back and nanna came in for a few glasses of wine and we opened our presents from nanna and she opened hers! Jamie got a bike and a helmet. He was very excited!!

Then Christmas morning I awoke first and tried to creep out of bed, but was soon aware that I was being followed so I quickly woke up Daddy. I had mentioned to Daddy prior to Christmas Eve about one of the customs mentioned at: http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-customs.html but we had said nothing more. We were all surprised then, when I turned on the Christmas lights in the front room to find footprints from the chimney to the tree!! 'Santa must have brought the snow in on his boots from the North Pole' said Daddy. Truly Magical!!

The Magic of Christmas

Jamie has known just enough to really enjoy it! Although we weren't sure whether he was going to understand what was going on, as the days to Christmas Eve went on Jamie seemed to grasp more and more. We had a few false starts at the beginning of December where he seemed fearful of things. He certainly did not like ornaments where their legs dangled down and nanna had to remove hers for a few days. I also had to hide my wobbly Santa to begin with! We went to The Ark Christmas fair the last weekend of November and Jamie just cried the whole time, so there was no way he was going to sit on Santa's knee. Obviously his two days at week at Nursery has helped as they told stories and made cards and a small stocking to hang on the tree. We also went to a Christmas special at the library where the children could colour in and make a fairy, but Jamie just wanted to read the books about Santa. His favourite was an Usborne Sparkly Touchy-feely called Father Christmas (Watt & Finn) which we brought home and read over and over. It showed the elves, the sleigh, the snow, the reindeer, chimneys, trees and presents!!

Toddler Signing was brilliant (as usual) and we made a couple of baubles to hang on the tree. These were basically plain silver baubles dipped in glue and covered in sequins, but Jamie helped to make them and they look wonderful on the tree. For Mothers Day this year Jamie had made me a heart on the end of a ribbon and I also put this on our tree. I just hope that all these treasures will make it to Christmas 2012.

Over the years I have collected a variety of Christmas ornaments and Jamie has carried around one or more of these over the past few weeks and called them names such as 'Big Santa', 'Little Santa', 'Rudy' (from me calling one of our reindeer's Rudy). He also had a number of nights where he took the stocking he made from off the tree and took it to bed with him. 'Bear Bear' was well and truly forgotten!

Oh, and he loved the concept of a chocolate advent calender - especially as he got two this year; one from nanna and one from Uncle Paul!

More Parties and Visits

Christmas is exhausting with all the visits and parties that need to be done in the short space of 2 / 3 weeks. I have been lucky this year that I have not suffered from a cold (touch wood) although there have been a few days when I could have easily stayed in bed! Of course it has been great to see everyone and meet up with people you have not seen for a while. Mummy and Daddy have had their yearly trip to the Chinese Banquet at The Ocean, and I even enjoyed the works Christmas Lunch as it went on for nearly 3 hours and we still got paid!

The evening of the Christmas lunch from work was the Nativity on the Green at Hykeham, so I picked up nanna and then we collected Jamie from Nursery. Unfortunately it was too cold for all of us, so we only managed a quick once around the stalls. We all felt better after a mince pie and a cup of tea at nannas...

The week before Christmas was packed with outings for all of us. Visiting Auntie Marie, the writing group Christmas meal and Christmas Bingo for a start. Then Jamie had the Baby Signing Christmas Party on the Tuesday - which was wonderful as always - followed by the Nursery Party on the Wednesday. Jamie did not like the Santa that the Nursery had. I wasn't sure either - he was far too skinny! But Jamie did come home with another present....

Magic Reindeer Food

Nursery sent home a small bag of Magic Reindeer Food for Jamie.
The poem attached to it read:

Sprinkle on the lawn at night!
The moon will make it sparkle bright.
As Santa's reindeer fly and roam -
This will guide them to your home.

Putting on a Children's Christmas Party

Planning
We booked the local hall from 6pm–9pm at a cost of £24 (£8 an hour) and although we left before 9pm we could have had the hall from 5.30 – 9.30pm. We made a list of our closest friends and in November asked around who would be interested. After we had a list, we then allocated foodstuffs to attendee’s i.e. Becci – Pringles, Crisps; Jo – Tea, Coffee, Sugar, milk etc. Kerry, Becci and I also took some napkins, paper plates, plastic glasses and tablecloths. I think the food that was brought was just about right. We opened it all up as soon as we got there and just had a ‘running’ buffet’. However, we had to keep an eye on some of the children as they were eating far too much cake and chocolate!

Apparently we got into a little bit of trouble, as we left on some lights in the hall and didn’t take our rubbish home. As it turned out there wasn’t actually that much rubbish. There was also a door that was apparently left open. We think this was in the toilets, so next time we need to do a sweep of the building to make sure we have turned off lights and closed doors. And also to check we have not left anyone in!!

Decorations
Although the church hall was decorated we took along some more tinsel and some fibre optic Christmas trees to put on tables. We also took a lighting box to put disco lights on the wall and some extra Christmas lights. Don’t forget pins, sellotape, and string for the balloons, bluetac and scissors!

Father Christmas
SANTA came!! Once again, it’s not what you know, but who you know and Nanna knows Santa (she used to work with Mrs Claus). We knew he was coming about 7pm so Nanna and Santa's Little Helper (Becci in her costume) waited for him at the door. I wandered out just as he was walking down the street. As daddy said, it probably looks better than him getting out of a car! We did think about getting Auntie Hannah to lead the children in some Christmas songs while we were waiting for Santa, but it all happened so quick we did not have enough time! I got Paul to turn the music off and told all the children to sit on the mats as a special visitor was about to arrive. Santa knocked loudly on the door and came in ringing his bell! The smiles on the children’s faces were a delight. He had brought his own large sack and Becci did a quick sleight of hand putting all our presents with his sack; hence looking like he had brought them with him!

Santa’s only request was a chair without arms so that the children could sit on his knee if they wanted. We decorated his chair with tinsel and put Christmas lights all around the window he sat in front of. We sat him at the front of the mats so that all the children could sit in front of him. As Santa read out each label with the help of Becci, each child went to the front and sat with Santa for a quiet chat. He asked them whether they had been good and what they wanted for Christmas. The looks on their faces were amazing. A few of the younger children were a bit scared and Jamie took a bit of convincing to sit on his knee but all in all it went very well.

After all the children had received their presents and they were all hyper and running around, I got my chance to have my photo taken with Santa and sit down and have a chat. He was saying some of the children he meets break your heart. Some ask for 42” TVs and others just ask for a Chocolate Orange. One child just wanted ‘a cuddle from his mummy’.

When I initially rang Santa he stated that he would like a charity donation. Therefore, I made a ‘Collection Box’ and Santa’s Little Helper took it round for donations while Santa was having his cup of tea. I bought him a bottle of whisky myself and sent him a thank you card. Mrs Claus sent me a nice email saying that the collection had raised £31.33 and this would be going to the Lincs & Notts Air Ambulance.

Presents
Prior to the party we asked each parent to wrap a present for their own children. This was chiefly because the youngest was 3 months and the oldest 14, so a secret Santa would not really have worked. A few people had dropped off their presents at mine prior to the party so there were only a few presents that needed sneaking into the bag in the kitchen!

Games
Kerry did a wonderful ‘Pin the Nose on Rudolph’ and Jodie and her friend Lucy were brilliant in their organisation of the younger children for this and a few other games such as musical statues etc. I had wrapped a number of ‘prizes’ to give winners and I also had a few extra bags of sweets. We decided against Pass the Parcel as it could have gone on too long (or upset everyone as it did at the baby signing party when the same baby got to open most of the wrappers). To be honest we did not need many games as the children kept themselves amused running around after each other.

Music and Lights
Paul brought his IPod and docking and so there was music. I think next year we need to do a dedicated ‘Christmas mix’ as I felt there was not enough Christmas Music. However, I don’t think there were any complaints!

Lessons Learnt
Party poppers and blowers; like bubble mixture, need to be supervised!
Children need to be encouraged to clean up their own mess. This includes food, drink and wrapping paper! At the end it was ‘all hands on deck’ with the clearing away and washing up. Thank you Nanna!

Total Cost
In total the whole night cost me personally only about £25. This includes hall hire of £12 (other £12 paid by Kerry) bottle of whiskey for Santa (£10), Milk and a random selection of chocolates, sweets, poppers, and balloons. We took a bottle of wine, some lager and lemonade for us plus a bottle of squash for Jamie which we shared with others who wanted some. We also took a bag of sugar and a box of tea that we had in the cupboard, and Kerry brought along a large jar of coffee left over from Elliot’s’ Christening. Everyone else brought their own food and drink and I think not only was it cheaper than a night out at The Bentley (where we used to go before children) but it was a better night all around!

In total we had 20 children and, including Santa; 22 adults. I had initially panicked that we had too many children coming. Looking back 20 children was just right. Lucy Clark was the last one to have her present from Santa and she waited quite a long time. You could see Little Tilley was beginning to panic that Santa had forgot her.....

Next Party: Jamie’s 3rd Birthday!

The Art of Present Hiding?

Went to visit Vicky and Indie to exchange presents and, other than the one Jamie had received from Santa at North Scarle, he had not really been given one. Consequently, as soon as he knew it was for him he wanted to 'hold it'. That was fine in the car. When we got back I explained that the present would need to go under the tree until Christmas day. That all seemed fine and understood. However, as I was in the kitchen I heard a 'Wow, Peppa Pig!' and returned to find said present unwrapped. I told Jamie he should not have opened it and he burst into tears. I then told him he should not have done it, but now that he had, why didn't we open it up? I didn't want to ruin the magic..... We opened the present and had a play for a while, but then it was time for Peppa on the TV so I managed to hide the present away. A few days later I was able to re-wrap the present and he never mentioned it again.

Another 'near miss' was one morning when nanna dropped off some presents she had been keeping for me at hers. She left them in the front porch for me to move them when an opportunity arose. Unfortunately, the postman came and wanted a signature and Jamie (being Jamie) came to have a look what was going on. Again 'Wow. Want to play'. I quickly moved him out of the way and soon distracted him with something else - probably 'Advent Choc Choc'.

Christmas Customs

Received a lovely email from the Mumsnet Team this week www.mumsnet.com/ which highlighted some Christmas customs it might be nice to 'borrow'.

Run Up To Christmas
We have a little elf who 'arrives' on 1 December bringing our Advent calendars and then sits on various shelves round the house watching the children to check if they're being good. On Christmas Eve, he disappears to report to Father Christmas how good they've been and whether they will get any presents!

Christmas Eve
We do PJs and Christmas books. Apparently, they fall off Santa's sleigh.
We make a runway from tealights in jam jars in the garden on Christmas Eve so the big man knows where to land.
We do milk and a mince pie for Santa and a carrot for the reindeer.
We must watch the Muppet Christmas Carol DVD on Christmas Eve, otherwise it's just not Christmas.
We live in north Norway and the main day of Christmas is 24 December. After Christmas dinner, we head up to the cemetery. We have candles, seasonal decorations and a bottle of water to make the candles freeze in place. It is still and serene; totally dark except for thousands of candles on decorated graves. We decorate and light the candles, give thoughts to the year that has passed, remember our ancestors, and head home.
When my children were small, I would sprinkle talcum powder (snow) around the tree and my brother would put on his big work boots and walk through the talc. The children were convinced Santa had been and brought the snow with him.

Christmas Pleasures
The sheer magic of story-telling, singing, baking, crafting, going on long icy walks, whispering about magic late at night, dressing up, laughing and sharing is what it's all about. The whole family comes together and the same traditions are entered into with the same joy each year.
The children unwrap little stocking pressies, all covered in separate Santa paper, with messages on the cards, such as 'For working hard on your maths' or 'For being kind to Nanny'. And then potatoes, wrapped too, with messages like 'For getting stroppy with your brother again'!

Aftermath
When we are tidying away the decorations, we write a little note to put in with them, saying what we hope for in the year ahead. It is lovely when you open the decorations box the next year and see what you have written.

My Son is a Monster!!

Monday this week was an absolute nightmare! Jamie was clingy, crying, shouting and it was one major tantrum after another. We made a short trip to Asda; where he kept demanding "this way mummy" and if we didn't go his way he screamed and cried very loudly! And lets try to forget when he grabbed all the miniature Christmas trees and threw them on the floor for all the batteries to fall out!!

Then we went visiting Sophie and then Noah and I have never seen him be so grumpy when playing with other peoples toys, but it was the lack of sharing and all the screaming he did when asked to take his turn that was the worst! I am afraid mummy lost her temper a couple of times with him and while at his cousin's threatened to take him home if he didn't play nicely.

We did come home early and then it all became apparent why Jamie had been so grumpy. He had a terrible cough and was up most of the night with it. Tuesday therefore I just let him sleep as long as he wanted. This meant we missed Toddler Signing again but at least Jamie was better before Wednesday. Nursery said he had nearly 3 hours sleep - what do we pay them for?

Christmas is Coming...

....and it gets more exciting every day!

This year I have tried to make it as magical as possible - for all our sakes. And so have been dragging daddy and Jamie along to as much as possible. This all started with the Lincoln Christmas Market which was held the first weekend of December. Last year it was cancelled for the first time due to the snow and ice that brought most of England to a stand still. I thought it might be nice if we all went on the Thursday night which is know as 'locals night' as the coaches and tourists don't really make the effort until the Friday! We were very lucky to have family who live very near the market (which is held in Lincoln Castle grounds) and so parking was less of a nightmare than it could have been! Although I didn't really spend much money, I really enjoyed it. We lost Nanna a couple of time so we were glad of the mobile phones, but even with that (and the German wine), daddy didn't really like it. He complained that it was too busy. I think for Jamie it was too crowded and too cold; although he loved the bubbles from one of the stalls. He was too young to go on any of the rides and too young to really walk on his own - we could have easily lost him! We had taken him in the pushchair but it is on its way out and not very easy to push about. In the end I spent a lot of time pushing an empty chair and daddy had Jamie on his shoulders. Not sure about next year....

This last weekend we went to see the North Scarle Santa Special (see: www.lincolnmes.org/). We have been to the car boot and been on the miniature trains a few times this year, but at Christmas there are mince pies and Father Christmas sits in his sleigh. When we first got there Jamie did not want to go on either the trains or visit Santa but after watching from the sidelines for a while we managed to go on the trains twice and Jamie also had a quick chat to Santa and was very pleased when he got a present!!

We seem to have lost 'Bear, Bear'....

We all braved the Lincoln Christmas market on Thursday night and Baby Bear (as Nanna calls him) has not been seen since. I keep expecting him to turn up and it breaks my heart when Jamie asks for him.....I did buy a spare bear sometime last year (from ebay 'findmycuddlytoy') but he got lost one day on the way back from nursery. Jamie would definately notice a switch if we bought a new one now as 'Bear, Bear' was well and truly used and even had some paint on his head! I shall miss him....

Christmas has arrived!

Cousin Lucy came at the weekend. As this was the only weekend they were free before January we decided to treat it as their Christmas! This meant that after celebrating Nanna's 91st in the afternoon, we came home and began to put up all the decorations - including the tree!!

Jamie and Lucy had a fantastic night digging everything out of the boxes as they came out of the loft. It was great to see their excitement and tell them about all the bits and pieces we have collected over the years. I did try to arrange some decorations around the house but it seems Jamie likes to collect them all and keep them in his room. I have a number of Santa's and a few reindeer's and we have had to take them out shopping over the last few days. Unfortunately Jamie got a bit scared at a display in the Coop yesterday and we had to leave sharpish as Jamie had a right royle screaming fit. The display was mechanical; of a number of elves working for Santa. Jamie could not understand they were not real!!

On the Sunday, we took everyone to The Bauble Barn www.doddingtonhall.com/christmastime
and auntie Christine and mummy spent a small fortune on more decorations - but it was worth it!

All in all we had a great weekend. Jamie loves to see Lucy and they only had a couple of fall-outs. Its a shame we won't see them now til the New Year but at least we had a great start to the Christmas festivities!!

What you can learn from being a mum

I recently got sent a very interesting article from gurgle - see:
www.gurgle.com/articles/Play___Learn/36532/What_you_can_learn_from_being_a_mum.aspx

Many parents claim they change significantly when they become parents. According to Katherine Ellison, author of The Mommy Brain, Basic Books, 2005, mothers’ are more perceptive, efficient, resilient, motivated and emotionally intelligent if they have been through pregnancy and motherhood.


Here are ten things that having babies can teach you:

1) To get your priorities straight Although pregnancy has its aches and pains, it can teach you a lot about your body. It’s funny how women will stop drinking and smoking when there is a baby inside them, yet it never occurred to them to cut down or stop for themselves. Don't lose interest in you once your baby is born, take care of your body and you'll feel better in the mind!

2) To handle pain! There is truly no other pain. Giving birth is painful but is also requires strength, willpower, determination, endurance and instinct; all of which comes naturally to most mothers. You should be extremely proud that you got through this incredible feat. And after you've given birth, catching flu, breaking bones, training for a marathon, looking after six kids… It’s all a doddle after a three-day labour! Now you know you have the strength to survive labour and birth you can apply that strength to other areas of your life.

3) The importance of sleep According to the National Sleep Foundation, the average adult needs seven to nine hours sleep per night to function normally! If there is a time in your life when you appreciate the value of sleep it’s when you become a sleep deprived new mum. You’ll appreciate sleep so much you will never squander it away again. Any chance for a lie-in – take it! If your body is telling you you’re tired, go to bed; who cares if it’s 9am! And if you can sneak in a daytime catnap – do, you’ll be amazed at how refreshed you feel!

4) To love unconditionally It’s very hard to imagine the love you’ll feel for your newborn before you give birth and most mums are bowled over by the surge of love they feel when they do meet their babies. It can shock some women when they first feel this feeling but it’s a healthy normal emotion. As your children grow you should always tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always be there for them. Once they understand it, you can tell them how much you loved them right from the minute you set eyes on them. The feeling of being loved is just as important as loving someone else and can help your child to feel secure and confident.

5) To be impulsive Toddlers act on impulse and never really think of the consequences. Adults constantly think of the consequences and rarely act on impulse: it’s pretty obvious who is having more fun. Take the lead from your child, if she wants a pink ice cream while dressed as a fairy for a walk in the park, why not? The same goes for you, wear what you want to wear and do what makes you happy. Instead of focusing in what other people may think, try to do something everyday that you enjoy.

6) To learn from mistakes You’ll be surprised at how much your child can learn from making a mistake, even getting their shoes wet by jumping in a big puddle, or knocking over their glass of milk. We could all learn from our children this way. If you know there is something you are bad at (dealing with stress before a holiday for example), pre-empt this by organising the things that stress you out.

7) To understand emotions better As adults, we’ll have been having our own lessons from our babies and will be experts at decoding their emotions, but we can also look at other adults and try to work out how they are feeling too. If someone you know is suddenly distant or seems upset about something, apply the same sensitivity as you do with your baby. First and foremost they probably need a hug, then you can try to talk about how they are feeling. Unlike children, adults can express successfully how they are feeling and encouraging someone to talk about their feelings can help them to open up.

8) To explore what is in front of you Babies and children of all ages become obsessed with things that are right in front of them. Toddlers can become engrossed in a painting they are doing or are fascinated by their fingers and toes. We can learn from this by taking a step back and looking at what is around us. Are we so busy zipping about to toddler groups and baby massage, that we have forgotten how wonderful our small gardens are, or how therapeutic it is to steal our toddler’s crayons and draw a picture?

9) To forgive and forget Toddlers can throw huge tantrums, normally in socially unacceptable situations like at the supermarket till or at a wedding! With a little distraction and a change of scenery your toddler will likely calm down and forget very quickly why he was upset. The same goes for nursery niggles; if your toddler had a spat with another toddler at playschool, they’ll probably be best friends ten minutes later! Adults can learn from children in this way and put an end to any ‘adult spats’ that might occur in their lives. If there is one thing having children can teach you, it’s that you’d rather spend time having fun and enjoying life than seeking revenge or fighting constantly with someone.

10) It’s OK to be dirty… In the fifties mothers' were obsessed with cleanliness and having a child covered in dirt was an indication that you were a bad mother! Nowadays, thankfully, having a child covered in muddy puddles or paint splatters just means you had a fun afternoon. As an adult we can learn from this by not obsessing about what our houses look like (because lets face it, if you have kids, it’s impossible to be house-proud!), or if we forget to put mascara or lipstick on. In fact there is nothing better than pulling on your own wellie boots and splashing about with your toddler – who cares if your new jeans get ruined!

Can a Toddler have an accent?

Jamie is at a very cute stage at the moment where he is almost talking 'normally' but still says a lot of cute words and is still soaking new words up like a sponge.

On Tuesday, coming back from a trip to see Gill, Jamie was sat in the back of the car singing 'Baa, Baa, Black Sheep' to himself. Mummy tried to join in, but Jamie told her 'No'.

When we got back home I was telling daddy. I then started to sing '5 little ducks'. Jamie was chattering, rather than singing, and said 'Duck' in a very broad Lincolnshire accent!!

Mummy's Gums...

Forgot to mention that the dentist was a little concerned at the state of mummy's gums. Of course the culprit - once again - was Jamie, as he has sucked the life out of them!! I was advised to keep brushing them hard and I have decided to start using mouthwash as often as I can remember!

Trip to the Dentist

We all went to the dentist yesterday and asked Mr Bayes about Jamie's grey tooth. We were worried that it was because he / we had not been brushing properly. However, he assured us that it was due to him banging his tooth at some point. I suspect this happened the night we ended up at A&E (see: http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.com/2011/08/first-trip-to.html. I looked it up on the Internet and found:

If a child bumps his primary baby tooth, it may turn dark. Usually this happens two to three weeks after an accident. It's usually a gray or purple like color. Whether it turns dark or not doesn't always depend on the severity of the injury. I will say, however, that if the tooth is displaced or knocked very loose at the time of the injury, there seems to be a greater chance of it turning dark. Sometimes it can turn a pink color which can be another thing called internal resorption where the tooth resorbs from the inside out.

Will the tooth ever lighten back up? It can lighten back. In fact most do, but it takes a while. There is just not a good blood supply there. In addition, there may have been such displacement of the tooth that the blood supply is damaged. Those teeth may not recover or lighten at all. Having said all that, most dark baby teeth do lighten back. If it is a permanent tooth, then it's a whole other ball game. A traumatized permanent tooth that turns dark usually means the tooth is dead and will need a root canal to save it.

How long will it take? Well, baby teeth seem to take several months to lighten, usually I will say around six months or so. I often explain that it is kind of like a bruise inside the tooth. Unlike a bruise on the skin where there is a good blood supply, the tooth takes a longer amount of time to recover. Sometimes it will lighten to sort of a slight opaque look, which is barely noticeable. This is due to the canal inside the tooth closing up. It's kind of like a scar inside the tooth. If this happens then the tooth looks pretty good and is not likely to have any further problems.

Sometimes the tooth never lightens. It stays dark. There often is no need for treatment. In a few cases the tooth can abscess due to the death of the pulp inside the tooth. The body can't get in there to heal. So it is important to watch for that. If the tooth is dark and you just don't like looking at it, then we can do a filling on the front or a white crown if indicated.

In summary, it is a very common thing to see that dark baby tooth because kids are bumping their teeth all the time. It will likely lighten back up. If it doesn't, there still may be no treatment needed other than observation. Rarely, it will abscess and need removal or a baby tooth root canal. Of course, see your dentist for the appropriate treatment.

http://cyberdentist.blogspot.com/2006/03/my-childs-tooth-is-turning-dark.html

Milkshake Anyone?

When Lucy was here, Jamie discovered something he liked very much.

On Tuesday night, while we were all having our hair done by Karley in the front room, Jamie walked up to me on the sofa, and simply threw his glass of chocolate milkshake all over me!

Why? I have no idea. Daddy thinks he said something like 'Gloopy Glue' as he did it. This would mean Mr Maker is to blame. Certainly one reason for limiting Jamie's TV.

Oh, and the fact that Jamie has started repeating some of the adverts that are currently playing in the run up to Christmas. Especially the chocolate making machine one!!

At least mummy and Nanna have started their Christmas shopping. Less than 40 days to go....

We may never go out again...

Saturday night we asked Nanna B to babysit so mummy and daddy could go out. It had been months since they had been out as a couple. Mummy was feeling good as she has now lost half a stone and feels she is getting back to her pre-baby size. So she bought a new dress and some trendy shoes and booked a table at a local restaurant.

Unfortunately, as soon as Nanna arrived and Jamie realised that mummy and daddy were dressed up for a reason, he started to cry and say things like "No go out" and "stay here mummy". It was awful.

We did go out and few drinks and a lovely meal helped ease the tears. Especially as he must have been asleep shortly after we left anyway.

But then Monday night daddy was playing a gig in Nottingham and mummy asked Nanna to sit with Jamie so she could go to her Zumba class. Once again, Jamie got all upset that we were leaving him.

It may be a while before we go out again.....

Blog Baby 23

We met Nicola and Matt at Ante-Natal classes 3 years ago and have kept in touch ever since. Jamie regularly plays with their son Will and on the 21st October at 12.40pm they had a little baby girl called Lucy Honor Scarlett weighing 8lb 10oz.

She was born nice and quickly - as Will had been a nightmare to get out - but it took tham a couple of weeks to name her! I managed to get a quick peep in on the Thursday after she was born but me and Jamie hope to have a play date with them all very soon!!

Congratulations!!!

Jamie Taming....

Thankfully Jamie is not as bad as he might be. But when he has a tantrum, its a big one! Typically, this is because he wants to do something that we don't want him to do i.e. watch TV, not go to bed etc. He can shout and scream, but he has a tendency to say the same thing over and over. Perhaps he thinks we will give in (or be hypnotised) if we hear 'Don't want to sleep in Jamie's bed' a hundred times!!

I have to admit however, that I have lost my temper on a few occasions and shouted back at him when he has had a screaming fit. Afterwards we both get upset and the other night Jamie actually asked for a cuddle later on, after we had all calmed down! I have yet to leave a tantrum (mine or Jamie's) unresolved before bedtime. The truth of the matter is that he has inherited his mum's temperament. I am afraid this is not a good thing. It's god's way of punishing me for my behaviour as a teenager!!

A sense of humour is definitely what is needed at the moment!!

Discipline – what really matters?

Love Successful discipline can only come when there is a strong framework of love, being wanted, respected, cared for and feeling important. If children don’t have their prerequisite it is both difficult and unwise to firmly mould behavior.

Consistency Children need to know the limits and exactly what is expected of them. They should sense that their parents are in agreement and in charge. Discipline must be applied consistently and not depend on the fluctuating moods of a tired mum or dad.

Staying calm and in control Don’t argue, don’t debate, don’t stir, don’t chuck an adult ‘wobbly’, don’t shoot from the hip.

Communicating convincingly Use the positive live; ‘This is the way it is going to be!’ Discard the wishy-washy approach.

Avoiding Trouble Toddler proof your home, don’t fight over trivialities, recognize when you are on a losing wicket.

Boosting the best Reward the behavior you want with encouragement interest, warmth, fun and attention. More tangible rewards may be given, even bribes.

Underplaying the desired Try to dampen down the unwanted behavior. Don’t rise to the bait. Become skilled in the art of selective blindness and deafness. Don’t get it back to front where you spend so much time fussing, fighting and encouraging the bad that the good moments pass unnoticed. Sometimes parents strand too close to see who is scoring the points.

Common sense and cunning Recognize and avoid triggers to bad behavior. Divert attention. Keep little bodies busy. We parents cannot give full attention all the time, so learn to use side stream attention.

Sensible Expectations Little children are not adults and will not behave as adults. Listen to what they are telling us, as their behavior may not need disciplining, but comfort, reassurance and a cuddle.

Safety Valves When your tired parental brain is close to self-destruct, use Time Out to separate the warring parties. Use a bedroom, go outside, find space and engage in an activity.

Remember Tension at home, parental point-scoring, depression, conflicting opinions, confidence in your boots, all make effective discipline difficult. Each one of these can be helped, but we parents need to be committed to lift our game.

Sense of humour The toddler antics I see before me each day could only be classed as amazing. Keep smiling, this circus doesn’t go on forever.

The origin of most toddler behavior

Every performance comes from one of seven very predictable origins. Awareness of these brings all behavior into perspective and allows you to achieve a firm foundation for effective discipline.

Attention Seeking Toddlers crave attention. If they can’t get it by fair means they lower their sights, irritate their parents and grab it by some annoying act. This is by far the commonest cause of parent problems.

Jealousy and Competition Toddlers can be pretty antisocial when others step into their limelight.

Frustration Toddlers bodies cannot keep up with their brains. They become frustrated at their own inabilities.

Fear of Separation Toddlers like to be close to their parent and can be difficult when apart.

Reaction to Illness, Tiredness or Emotional Upset Toddlers can be irrational, irritable and hard to handle when unwell or upset.

Unreal parental Expectations If parents expect a toddler to have adult values, they are in for trouble.

Parental Dramas Parents bring problems on themselves, by taking an unimportant event and beating it into a great drama.


I particularly like this quote; ‘It is not that they set out to be naughty. Their instinct is to explore, which is natural at this stage. But exploration without good sense can be, as we know, a dangerous journey and the explorers must be protected.’

The foundation for happy secure children

Curly K recently lent me a very good book entitled; Toddler Taming: A Parent’s Guide to the First Four Years by Dr Christopher Green published by Vermilion, London. The edition she lent me was from the 1990s but I know it is regularly updated.

The Foundation
Love Being wanted and welcome. Love may be a vague term but it is a very important word.
Consistency Children need to know where they stand and that what stands today will still be standing tomorrow.
Tackle Tension Tension is probably the most common destructive influence in today’s child rearing. There is no point in bringing up your child by the book, if home feels like a war zone. Friction in adult relationships can never be hidden from children. The most considerate thing we as parents can do for our children is to be kinder to one another.
Good Example Children cannot behave better than those whose example they follow.
Reasonable Expectations Parents need to know what is normal and what to expect. Unrealistic expectations cause non-problems which undermine parents unnecessarily.
Fun and Enjoyment Children should be brought up as apprentices to fun loving parents who enjoy having them around. Some parents take child-rearing so seriously that it becomes an interesting scientific experiment. You cannot fall in love with some laboratory animal.
Confidence Here is the key to effective parenting. Confident parents are positive and positive parents become very powerful people.

Happy Halloween

We have had a truly fantastic Halloween this year. And hopefully, this will be the shape of things to come for future years. When I was pregnant we had a little Halloween party and invited a few friends and their children. I think Daddy managed to scare a few of them with his garage, so this year we decided to tone it down. We knew that Uncle Dean and Auntie Chrissie with cousin Lucy were definitely coming for the weekend so we invited a few more 'family' along. In the end we had 10 children and 14 adults; which included Nanna and Granddad. We could have actually invited more as we were blessed with a lovely sunny day. A week later and we might not have been so lucky as the clocks went back the day after the party, but for the party we were able to have a few hours outside!! I had stipulated on the invitations: 'Fancy Dress Compulsory' and I have to say that the majority of the attendees dressed up which all added to the excitement!
(See: http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.com/2008/11/who-ate-all-children.html regarding our first party)

I had planned a number of games, but in the end we just played 'Pass The Parcel'. I had bought a load of toilet rolls to play 'the mummy game' but the children were having such a good time outside we decided to just let them run around. I bought a shed load of sweeties and Kerry (as usual) did us proud with some fantastic Halloween cupcakes.

Daddy decked out the garage once again but this time it was slightly less scary (although Noah and Jamie were not too certain to begin with!). We had cobwebs and masks and balloons and posters and 3 carved pumpkins were brought which also added to the effect!

Jamie loved having a weekend with Lucy and I loved reading them 'Room on a Broom' and 'The Gruffalo' which Lucy had never heard before. We also had a chance to visit Nanna Grace and had a fantastic morning at Hartsholme Park. All in all, a brilliant weekend which will probably take us all November to recover!!

Jamie to sleep in our bed til he is three....

Babies should sleep in their mother’s bed until they are at least three years old, a study has concluded. The controversial advice - reported in The Daily Mail - comes from a paediatrician who found that two-day-old babies who were placed in cots slept less well than those who dozed on their mother’s chest. Their hearts were also under more stress, it was claimed.

New research claims babies should sleep with their mothers until they reach the age of three. Sleeping alone makes it harder for mother and child to bond - and damages the development of the brain, leading to bad behaviour as the child grows up, researchers fear. Dr Nils Bergman, of the University of Cape Town, South Africa, says that for optimal development, healthy newborns should sleep on their mother’s chest for the first few weeks. After that, they should stay in the mother’s bed until they are three or even four years old.

However, studies linking bed-sharing with an increased risk of cot death and fears that a mother will roll over and smother her child means that women are generally advised against this. In a recent British study of sudden infant deaths, almost two-thirds of those that were unexplained occurred when the bed was being shared. But Dr Bergman said: ‘When babies are smothered and suffer cot deaths, it is not because their mother is present. It is because of other things: toxic fumes, cigarettes, alcohol, big pillows and dangerous toys.’

Sixteen infants were studied while they slept on their mother’s chest and in a cot by her bed. Monitoring revealed the baby’s heart to be under three times as much stress when he or she slept alone. Being in a cot also disrupted sleep, with the babies’ brains less likely to ‘cycle’ or make the transition between two types of sleep called active and quiet. In the cots, only six out of the 16 had any quiet sleep and its quality was far worse. Making this transition is thought to be key to the normal development of the brain. Animal studies have linked the combination of stress and lack of sleep to behavioural problems in teenage years. Dr Bergman said that changes to the brain brought on by stress hormones may make it more difficult to form relationships later on, leading to problems such as promiscuity.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2054393/Bad-news-dads-Babies-share-mothers-bed-age-good-hearts.html

Mummy at Two and a Half

Other than the Dr ringing yesterday to say that my cholesterol check was 6.7 and had not much changed from the last time, I feel fine! I am not too worried about the result as yet. The Dr said it was not serious enough to start any drugs as yet, and I think the reading may have been wrong as I did have a small cup of tea....

Since the day of the test however, I have started Weight Watchers and am certainly feeling the benefit. So far I have lost 7.5lbs in 7 weeks so am on track to lose a stone by Christmas if I can continue to be good!! (www.weightwatchers.co.uk/) I think some of this weight loss is also due to the Zumba class that I have started on a Monday evening which I thoroughly enjoy.

I have once again been suffering with my back and decided to go for a series of treatments at the local Chiropractor. I do feel they benefited me physically but not so financially at £29.50 a time!

I have found myself being a Grumpy Mummy sometimes and I truly hate that. I have had a couple of major moodies and I know I have a short temper but it seems to be even shorter. I feel irritable and overwhelmed. I am beginning to wonder whether it is the implant in my arm causing these mood swings. Of course, it could simply be the time of year, work being a bit unpredictable and me just being me. However, I found a number of sites that discussed side effects of the implant and it seems women have suffered from mood swings, depression and even panic attacks following their implants. Mine was inserted on the 6th September so I shall re-assess how I feel at the beginning of December to see if I get any worse..... For the time being, its back to trying to relax....

I still hate leaving Jamie; especially on a Wednesday after we have had 4 days together, but I know he loves Nursery or I would not take him. It was hard the other week when we said; ‘Stay home mummy’. And of course the money from work comes in handy!! Work has been a bit stressful lately due to staffing issues and not knowing what will happen after my contract ends in December, but it’s not really the work, more my take on it. I must learn to relax and not take it too seriously! I intend to stick to my 20hours contract for the time being and not do any overtime.

I have found more time for my writing and although I joined a book group I decided that was one step too far. I have loads of books that I actually want to read rather than reading them for a group. Sundays nights are also the night where we can get everything ready for the week ahead so me going out puts a spanner in the works...

I look at Jamie and know that every day time with him is precious.

Jamie at Two and a Half

Jamie is a pure treasure at the moment. When I finish work I cannot wait to see him; although he can be very tiring! He has a full on approach to life that is wonderful to see and everyday is a play day! Although he won’t always give me ‘A kiss for mummy’, he will often surprise me with a cuddle when I least expect it. He does have a tendency to say ‘mummy’ quite often in a questioning voice, but it isn’t actually a question. It seems to be more of a reassurance that I am still there and paying attention, rather than actually wanting anything!!

We continue to have a good social life when mummy is not at work, and daddy and Jamie have a great time playing games and making up stories; not to mention when Granddad comes to play.
We have started Dramabugs on a Monday www.dramabugs.co.uk/ and there is a lovely mix of children there for Jamie to run around with. This week she is doing ‘Bear Hunt’ and has asked us all to take our teddy bears. Jamie still won’t let go of ‘Bear, Bear’..... What makes Mondays even better is that there is a wonderful park just next to the Hall and every week we have been for a play and a chat with other mummy’s and toddlers. There is a play train there and Jamie loves to take the wheel and shout ‘All Aboard’ and ‘Tickets please’.

The lady who runs Baby Signing (which Jamie loved!) www.babysigning.org.uk/ home is now running a Toddler Signing on a Tuesday afternoon. If I can get Jamie to have a sleep before we go, he really enjoys it. Unfortunately, he has been known to fall asleep under the crafts table! But Wendy is fantastic and he has made some brilliant things; including a Mr Cress head

We also continue to go to Story time at the library whenever it is on and recently they had the www.raptorfoundation.org.uk/ bring some owls in, which Jamie loved!

Jamie has been to a couple of birthday parties in the last month or so. The first being cousin Noah’s 2nd and then Emily D who was 3. Both were held at www.funfarm.co.uk/funfarm_lincoln.htm and meant that Jamie was lovely and sleepy both nights! We also managed to get invited to a girl’s party from Nursery who I am not sure even goes on the same day as him. I am still quite embarrassed about it, but Jamie had a great afternoon on the bouncy castle and he did know the twins and a few others!!

Another party he has recently been to is Auntie Anne’s 80th. Jamie and Alannah were the only two children there and Jamie spent most of the afternoon under the table; coming up every now and again for more crisps and chocolate cake! Luckily mummy had brought a few toys along so he wasn’t too bored!!

Nicola; who we met at ante natal classes, is due in a couple of weeks and as she has started her maternity leave we have visited for a few play dates with Will. We have also popped over to see Kerry and Elliot, and Jamie loves playing with all the girls’ toys! He also loved playing with their penny slot machine and said ‘pennies’ for days afterwards!! Elliot was christened a few weeks ago and Jamie loved running around with the girls and his cousin Alannah. He was the only boy surrounded by a sea of girls. As I wrote in Elliot’s card, soon the pair of them will be creating chaos between them!

And of course, whenever we can, we take Jamie out with mummy and daddy. Recently we went to www.woodsidefalconry.com/ which we are hoping to repeat when cousin Lucy comes in a few weeks.

As well as train journeys at the park, Jamie continues to love to cook; either properly with Nanna or at Nursery, or pretend with his kitchen and the one at Nursery, When I went to pick him up from Nursery yesterday he had a real cake to show me (which he then ate himself) and the girls were showing me what he had fed them in the afternoon; plates piled high with plastic food! He has recently taken on the guise of ‘Dr Jamie’ and last night when I had rather a bad back, Jamie bashed it with his plastic hammer to ‘make it better’.

Problems: I am sure Curly K would be worried if she knew about Jamie's bedtime habits. He still continues to fall asleep on our bed and to then be transported to his own bed, often for him to wake up in the night and find his way back into ours! On a couple of occasions recently I have got him to go to his own bed and have read him a story after which he has gone to sleep there, but this still continues to be the exception, rather than the rule!

We must also try harder with his washing routine and cleaning of his teeth, Daddy has been on lates this week which means Jamie has not had a bath since Sunday night!! I am not too worried about whether he is clean or not as he doesn’t really get too dirty; it’s more the idea of getting Jamie into a routine. Having said that, they always wash their hands at Toddler Signing before doing the crafts and Jamie will ask to wash his hands if he gets them messy when he has his tea! The only problem we have is that we often find some of the taps running at home where Jamie has turned them on himself and then wandered off!

What to Expect at Two and a Half

The latest www.mumsnet.com/ email discusses what to expect at 2 and a half years.

How he behaves: Negatively. He may have shown signs of resistance and stroppiness before the age of two, but at two and a half, he develops an attitude with a vengeance. He likes to follow his rituals and do things his way and is furious if you interrupt him. Sometimes he doesn't know what he wants to do but knows it isn't anything you've got on offer, even, incredibly, the park or an ice cream. It's hard to make him happy although funnily enough there is a sense of humour lurking - due to emerge closer to three. Jamie isn’t quite as bad as this – thank god! But he can be quite stubborn and refuse to take ‘No’ for an answer...

The trick is to be completely saintly yourself. Poor love, he doesn't like making himself or you unhappy. He's not really a manipulative, selfish little beast. Set aside enough time for him to try to dress himself, feed himself and bath himself without urging him to get a move on. My dad always told me that if I got into a confrontation with my children - I'd already lost the battle.

Now is the time for bedtime rituals before bed, he may like to have a teddy in bed, to have his light on or nursery rhyme tape playing. But this is also the time when he decides he'd rather be downstairs thank you very much, although when he's down there he'll be sobbing with tiredness and making everyone else unhappy. Restlessness at night is common and may be due to him being anxious about saying good night to you and you leaving him. This is partly to do with his growing realisation that he is a separate person, which you can imagine is a pretty heavy concept to get to grips with. Still problems with bedtime but difficult with daddy’s shifts to have a real routine. Jamie will sleep only when he is tired enough, but I do find a book before bed and then total quiet and darkness usually sends him on his way,

He will help to put things away because he's keen to behave like an adult (not realising that adults hate putting things away and would rather pay for someone else to do it). Jamie puts things away but loves tipping them out 5 minutes later even more!!

How he thinks: He can understand a bit more about cause and effect, so begins to understand that if he grabs that knife he may cut his fingers off. He is keen to name things and compare them, being able to say, not always correctly but with a sense of injustice that Johnny has a bigger biscuit than he does. He can understand simple time concepts, like "we will go the park after we've had lunch" but still make a fuss because he'd prefer it the other way round.

What he likes to play: He can complete one of those great wooden puzzles of 3 or 4 pieces (Jamie has done a 5 piece) and sorts objects by shape and colour. He can understand the difference between make believe and reality and will play make believe games with his toys and animals. Jamie is constantly playing games both by himself, with friends and with daddy. Dr Jamie, pirates, fire engines, castle etc. etc.

His physical achievements: He can make a tower of 8 bricks (although not always under pressure) and when he draws he will now make horizontal and vertical lines. He can jump and hop. Especially when doing 'Sleeping Bunnies'.

How he speaks: He can join together bits of sentences, using a subject, verb and object. He will refer to himself as "I" and know his full name. www.mumsnet.com/

Today Jamie Counted To Ten!!

Today we are so proud.....

Jamie counted to 10.

And he did it more than once.

Even counting to 10 to Nanna on the phone.

And we filmed it so no one can say he didn't!!

Stock Take

I have had a wonderful day today catching up on all the paperwork that seems to be taking over at the moment. This is one sure way to make me feel less stressed and as the pile of paper at the back door increases (to be thrown out) so my stress levels decrease.

One of the pieces of advice that I read in the week was to every now and again sit down a have a stock take of your current position. Think about where you are in your life; whether you are happy being there and where you would like to go in the future. We need to all take time out occasionally to remember what is important.

I am (mostly) happy in my job. The pay could be better and I allow myself to get too wound up sometimes, but if I can keep reminding myself that I am not paid enough to get so involved, then I think I will survive! At the moment the hours that I do fit perfectly around the rest of my life and Jamie. Mondays (mostly) and Tuesdays are my days for being with Jamie and we have a full social life, so I don't feel too bad when going to work for the rest of the week. Especially as Jamie has two full days at Nursery - which he loves - and a full (ish) day with Nanna.

I have started attending a local writers group which meet once a month on a Tuesday evening. I still attend another writing group which meets once a month on a Saturday. Although I don't feel the need to go every month, the new group seem a great bunch of people and it can only be good for my writing.

I have also joined a readers group which meets within walking distance of the house. Again, they meet once a month and I feel being given a book to read and then discuss it will be good for my brain!!

I have always loved photography and always taken photographs wherever I go. I have wanted a new camera for a while and have decided to upgrade myself. With this in mind I have booked myself on a Digital SLR workshop at the beginning of December. Hoping for a new camera from Santa....

Have also joined Weight Watchers with the aim of loosing a stone before Christmas!

Having said all that, I don't actually feel too overloaded. I feel I have picked activities that compliment me and the person I want to be. Joining WWs has made me think about what I eat and this in turn has made me look at what I eat and drink on a night out, which in turn has made me consider exactly why I am going out and with whom!! Consequently, I don't have many meals out booked before December!

Life must be full of pleasures. Jamie and Daddy are my pleasures at the moment with writing, reading and photography my hobbies. WWs and keeping fit (I need to take more walks in the fresh air, in green spaces) are an important part of being able to maintain the lifestyle I desire.

Remember: Change the situation or change the way you look at the situation. Select your pursuits and company well. Forgive quickly and freely. Seek the best in everything and everyone. Compliment others. Be Nice. Be Happy. Smile. Laugh. Enjoy life.
Forward Focused....

Went to see about my feet yesterday...

...and was told I was stressed. Apparently verruca's flare up when you are under stress and added to this cold that just won't go at the moment, I think she might have been right?

So, what am I going to do about it? Having a lazy day today. Only as its me its not a lazy day. I keep finding things that need doing NOW and its doesn't seem like anything is actually getting finished.

First on the agenda is getting out my relaxation CDs and Relaxation folder. Lets see what needs to be done.....

And I have just read his morning that stress makes you hang onto fat. Another reason to de-stress!!

I have a feeling I have got myself run down because of the decision not to have any more children may have subconsciously been upsetting. I did get a bit teary again when at the Drs for my smear and saw my notes that said 'no more children' so I also feel I need to focus on my Goals for the future.

Should we share a bed with Jamie?

Many parents don’t share their bed (or co-sleep) with their babies because of the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), but new research has shown that sharing a bed with your little one after 12 months-old, has no negative impact on your child.

In western civilisations there is a trend towards solitary sleeping and making sure that each child has it’s own room, but in many other countries around the world, parents sharing a bed with their toddlers is much more acceptable.

Researchers at Stony Brook University School of Medicine in New York, found that children’s intellectual and social development was not affected by co-sleeping.

The study took a closer look at the sleep patterns of 944 low-income mothers and their toddlers; who were aged between one and three years of age. Of the women studied, almost half said they had shared a bed with their child at some point.

Dr Lauren Hale, associate professor of preventive medicine at Stony Brook University, found that there was no difference in terms of intellect or behaviour of those children who shared a bed with their mothers and those who didn’t.

Dr Hale also added that mothers should not feel guilty for sharing a bed with their child if it suited their lifestyle.

She said: ‘Parents can do what works best for their family and not feel guilty if they choose to bed-share, because there probably aren’t lasting impacts.’

She told CNN: ‘When you compare mothers of the same ethnicity and the same level of education, whether they bed-share or not, does not predict a difference in cognitive or behavioural outcomes of their children.’

www.gurgle.com/articles/Sleep_Bedtime/37842/Should_you_share_a_bed_with_your_toddler_.aspx

29 months

Gurgle.com had this to say about 29 months (See: http://www.gurgle.com/stages/Toddler/29_month_old/default.aspx?) During this month your toddler may start to experience quite complex emotions, such as jealousy (another child playing with their toys), pride (at building a tower correctly), affection (towards mum and dad) and shame (if he has had a tantrum or has hit or bitten another child). Although their emotions are intense, they are relatively short-lived so he can be having a full-blown tantrum one minute and showering you with kisses the next. Distraction is probably the key to dealing with more negative emotions, but don’t forget to praise your child when he displays positive emotions like pride or he shares her toys with others.

Bedtime
For some toddlers at this age, going to bed can be a struggle as there are too many interesting activities to do when awake. For parents of toddlers who desperately need some time off and probably a glass of wine, this can be frustrating, especially if they are able to get out of bed and join you. Try to keep your child in a regular routine especially at bedtime so he knows that when he is having her bath, bed comes soon. Make sure his room is dark (with a small nightlight if he doesn’t like it) and that he has had some wind down time before bed. This can mean a story or, if he is reluctant to go to sleep, some quiet play on his own for half an hour to make him sleepy. Bedtime can also mean relaxing in your room rather than having to go straight into sleep, after all it probably takes you time to unwind before you fall asleep, so keep this in mind.

Make sure he gets plenty of time outside in the fresh air everyday so that he uses up all that toddler energy.

Back to Baby Signing

Yesterday me and Jamie returned to Baby Signing, or rather became two of the first attendees at the new Toddler Signing group www.babysigning.org.uk/home Wendy has decided to start this group for the older babies and it was great to see Harry, Evie and Robert again. They have all grown up! And it was also nice to see their mummies again.

Jamie has started to sing along with songs now. He loves doing 'sleeping bunnies' and 'twinkle twinkle' at night. Time to dust off his CDs again and get out all those Nursery Rhymes.

Bionic Mummy

Today I honestly felt like something out of a science fiction film; as I lay on the Drs couch staring up at a bright white ceiling while an implant was put in my arm.

After 'Trying, but not really trying' since Jamie was born nearly two and a half years ago, we finally decided to call it a day. Jamie is a wonderful child. I really could not ask for more and if I had my time again I would have had 3 or 4, but I am on the wrong side of 40 now and its hard work; not to mention all the risks associated with an older pregnancy!!

So I am now the proud owner of a contraceptive implant in my left arm. At the moment it is still sore and I can feel the implant if I push on the surface. Apparently I will always be able to feel it but in a few days the bruising and swelling should have subsided.

How do I feel? While sitting in the waiting room there was a little boy with his mummy, who was probably 8 months old. He was so cute and cuddly and I was torn for a moment or two. But when I left the surgery, I felt a sense of relief. From now on I know that the future contains only one child and we can give him everything. It also means me and daddy can get on with our lives and stop thinking 'what if I get pregnant?' Daddy can concentrate on his music and I can concentrate on my writing as well as getting back to the person I was before I initially became pregnant - and that person was a stone and a half lighter!!

To this end I have rejoined weight watchers and tonight will be my second week. I intend to loose a stone before Christmas and buy a lovely new dress to go out in and show off the 'new' me!!

First Real Conversation

Jamie had a very busy bank holiday weekend. He saw his daddy play in his band for the very first time. It was also mummy's first time she had seen daddy play with the new band. See: http://thewarbirds.co.uk/ After the band had finished playing at Alford Festival, Nanna took Jamie and mummy to see Auntie Julie who lives nearby.

When Jamie saw daddy later on that evening, daddy was able to find out that Jamie had met Auntie Julie and he had fed a horse that lived at the back of her garden. Without any help from mummy, Jamie told daddy that the horse dropped the carrot on the floor and so didn't get to eat it.

It is amazing how much Jamie has developed in the last few months. And not only his talking but he also seems to have shot up in size (and weight).

"Tea Ready"

Since we bought Jamie the little kitchen last week, this has been something that we hear quite often. He also has a tea set with cups and a teapot, and a cake that cuts into slices. He seems to constantly want to play in his 'kitchen' or the one at Nursery. And luckily most things are ready in about "10 minutes".

Jamie had a fantastic weekend last week with his cousin Lucy. Lots of chattering and playing and now whenever the phone rings, Jamie asks if it is "Lucy." There was lots of dancing, running around and playing cooking.

We met Nicola and Will at Hartsholme Park Family Fun Day. Jamie and Will loved the bouncy castle and the 'hook a duck' game and Lucy had her face painted. Then we all went to see Nanna Grace and played with the bean bags and bubbles in her garden.

It really is lovely when Lucy comes for the weekend - with her mum and dad obviously - and he loves playing with Will and other friends. It makes me wonder whether Jamie really should be an only child....

First Trip to A&E

I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. Sunday afternoon we went to see cousin Noah and unfortunately while me and daddy were in the front room with my brother, Jamie fell off something. Nanna had been watching him but didn't really know what happened either. All we could see was that Jamie's lip was bleeding heavily from where his teeth (we assume) had cut into his lip. I am afraid mummy was a bit of a wet fish as she didn't like all that blood, but Auntie Hannah helped mop up the blood!!

Daddy decided straight away to take him up to the hospital as he thought the cut was quite deep. Once at A&E we were seen quite quickly. The nurse gave Jamie some Neurophen and said that they don't stitch cuts but suggested we waited to see a Doctor. Unfortunately this, she estimated, would be between one and two hours..... As it was past Jamie's bed time and he seemed quite happy in himself, we decided to take him home. We did have him in bed with us all night but after his milk he just wanted to have a cuddle and go to sleep - as we all did!

Monday morning, daddy took him to the Doctors just to be sure. They rang A&E who also told them that they don't stitch children of Jamie's age. They said just to keep an eye on its progress and to take him back if it looks as if it isn't healing. Today he just looks like a boxer but he does say its "Better!".

As he was such a brave boy, daddy treated Jamie to a Peppa Pig Kitchen Set and he loves it!!

Talk To Your Baby Pledge

Another thing that arrived while we were on holiday was a note from the Post Office saying they had a parcel that was too large to fit through the letterbox. I had no idea what it was but when it arrived I was glad I had sent Granddad to go and get it!! It was, and is, a fantastic fun to learn, lift the flaps book - Maisy's Year- that Jamie loves!! (www.maisyfun.com)

Checking my emails I found one that said:
Thank you so much for your wonderful pledge that you made on www.talktoyourbaby.org.uk/

We hope it has gone well and that you have enjoyed the extra communication time with your baby. We are very pleased to be able to let you know that you made one of the winning pledges and have won a baby book. You should receive this in about a month.

We are in the process of developing an exciting new site, www.wordsforlife.org.uk/ and look forward to telling you more about it as work progresses. In the meantime, we want Talk To Your Baby to be as helpful to you as possible so let us know if you would like any specific content featured or discussed.

I am afraid I can't remember my pledge. I think it was something along the lines of reading to and talking to Jamie more - and it must have worked as he is galloping along with his speech at the moment!

Lyme Regis and Charmouth - Family Friendly?

Lyme Regis is a very family orientated 'resort'. There are toilets with changing facilities on every corner, all the pubs (I think) accept children and the beach is full of families just like ours. Children of every age group and lots of toddlers for Jamie to run after. Phoebe and Isabel were two of the little girls Jamie chased after on the beach!! This may have been because we chose the week before the schools broke up. Perhaps the age groups may be totally different during the school holidays, but it was great to see so many toddlers running around together. It was great we were able to hire deck chairs at £2 a day (50p deposit) and a parasol or windbreak if we had wanted.

Prams are everywhere on the beach and we did contemplate abandoning ours a few times as it is nearly on its last legs, but it was great for transporting all the 'stuff' you need to take to the beach with a toddler! The 3-wheelers seem to cope best with the sand. A few of the mums and dads brought little tents; some of who had got the hang of putting them up better than others. These seemed mainly for use by babies to shelter from the sun and a place to keep away from the seagulls who seemed to constantly be swooping down and pinching sandwiches from peoples hands!

There is a nicely sized amusement arcade with slots and 2 penny games, as well as a few more child-friendly games. Jamie however, got very scared of a 'Sooty' amusement; where for £1 Sooty and his band played a tune and then you got a prize. Not sure why it frightened him so much but he loves the teddy he got and calls him Sooty Bear!

10 years ago we would have truly hated Lyme Regis!!

Charmouth is less family friendly; mostly being populated by fossil hunters. The children that are on the beach usually seem a bit bored unless young Indiana Jones' types just getting into the dinosaur bug. Jamie loves the "Dinosaur" connection but that's Peppa Pig - or rather George Pig - excitement induced!

Talking Fun

On arrival back from our holiday we were greeted with a copy of the leaflet we had been promised at Jamie's 2 year check; 'Talking Fun'. I am glad to report that he does not really need any help at all with his talking now. The week away seems to have done wonders for his speaking and its beautiful listening to him trying to find the words and / or repeating what we say. He comes out with words and phrases that we did not know he knew! "Man Doing?" was a question he said on holiday when he did not know who the owner of the cottage was. "Again, Again" he shouted when we went paddling in the sea. "Tunnels" as we went under the trees between Charmouth and Lyme. "Muddy Puddles" was a phrase from Peppa Pig he said at Abbotsbury Children's Farm, and we found he loves "Birdies". He began shouting "Sea side" as soon as the sea came into view and daddy showed Jamie a "Magic Trick" which Jamie demanded every night on holiday (involving a coin and a small jewellery box). Worryingly he kept saying "oh no" and also "Help!". And when we were in Somerset he shouted "Tea Ready James" when playing in their wooden play house with the kitchen (must get one!). It is a truly amazing time at the moment....

What did the leaflet say?
T Talk about everyday things
A Add another word when your child says only one word
L Listen to your child and give him time to talk
K Keep playing with toys and picture books

The Concept of Sorry

While on the Jurassic coast, one day Jamie decided it would be fun to throw one of the Jurassic rocks at mummy. It bloody hurt I can tell you! We tried to get him to say 'Sorry' - or rather daddy did - as I was crying and rubbing the large lump on my head. He refused to say 'Sorry' and just wanted to get back to playing on the beach. Neither of us really knew how to handle it, but once we were back had a look at a few pages on the interest. We were relieved that he isn't some kind of psychopath but in fact quite normal...... and it seems it will be a few months yet before he really understands the concept of 'Sorry'.

Your two year old does not yet have a hard-wired, internalized conscience. Nor is he intellectually at an age of reason (which usually begins at around two-and-a-half). Therefore, making him say "I'm sorry," will have no long-term effect. A punitive approach really doesn't discipline a two year-old. It just teaches them the words that they have to say to get back to playing.

At this age, toddlers usually do not have highly developed social or language skills. Given their lack of verbal ability and interpersonal skills, they often turn to hitting and other forms of aggression (e.g. biting) to express their frustration and anger etc. Removing your child from the scene of the aggression and redirecting his attention to something else is a productive response with this age group. Try being firm and telling him that his hitting hurts and is not allowed. Then leave the room, and leave him to connect your departure with his misbehavior. Over time, this response will result in behavioral changes. Actions such as these have much more of an impact than lecturing, scolding, time-outs and insisting upon an apology.

http://life.familyeducation.com/emotional-development/discipline/41780.html

Jurassic Jamie and Travelling Ted

We have just all come back from a week in Dorset and then a weekend in Somerset. We took along Travelling Ted from nursery and had to fill in his passport, write a diary for him and take some photos to put in his photo album. This is what we wrote in his diary:

We all set off early Saturday morning and 7 hours later we arrived at our holiday cottage called ‘The Willows’ in Charmouth, Dorset. It was literally 5 minutes walk from the beach. Charmouth is world famous for its fossils. The remains of Jurassic sea creatures can be found. We visited Charmouth Heritage Coast Centre and Jamie’s daddy bought a book called ‘The Fossil Hunters of Charmouth’. Sunday morning we spent fossiling on the beach in the rain.

Jamie and I loved playing with the bucket and spade on the beaches at both Lyme and Charmouth. The beach in Lyme Regis was very sandy and safe for toddlers and bears. Jamie and I did lots of paddling in the water; which was lovely and warm. The only real problem on the beach were the seagulls that sometimes swooped down and pinched peoples sandwiches’, but Jamie kept chasing them away. Lyme Regis also had an amusement arcade where another little bear joined us after Jamie won him in a game.

On Wednesday it was raining and so we all went to Abbotsbury Children’s farm where Jamie took a baby goat for a walk and gave it a bottle of milk. We also saw lots of other animals. Jamie cuddled a guinea pig and touched a tortoise, talked to the alpacha's and birdies in the walk-in aviary. He also rode a tractor and played in the soft play area in The Tithe Barn.

In the afternoon we stopped off in Weymouth and Jamie took me for a walk in the pram along the pier; where we saw some very big boats and lots of people sea fishing. It was raining but we all had an ice cream to cheer us up.

There was a pub in Charmouth village where we went for tea a couple of times and they also had a couple of goats. But it was their Beer Garden with all its swings and slides and big play boat that we liked the best!

On our last day we visited Dinosaurland Fossil Museum at Lyme Regis and mummy bought Jamie some dinosaurs to play with later. As we went for our last walk on the beach we saw a man Stonebalancing. Then we heard a loud noise and The Red Arrows appeared! They did a fantastic display over the harbour as part of Lyme Regis and Charmouth RNLI Lifeboat week. Jamie bought a blow up Red arrow which is now hanging from his ceiling at home.

On the way home we stopped off at some of Jamie’s mums friends in Somerset who had a big party on the Saturday night and then took us all to Perry’s Cider Mills; a working Cider Farm, in Dowlish Wake on the Sunday.

We ate far too much on our travels to Dorset and Somerset but the Ice Cream and the fish and chips were lovely. We are all going to go on a diet now.


The holiday ran (mostly) smoothly with a few tantrums from all of us along the way. The key (as always) is to be prepared and to fill the car as much as possible in order to be ready for any eventuality. This meant we had swimming costumes and waterproofs, sandals and wellies; all of which we needed due to the changing British weather! Jamie however, loved all aspects of it; from jumping in muddy puddles like Peppa to jumping in the sea!

Although we purposefully chose a cottage on one storey so we would not have to worry about the stairs, we still worried about Jamie getting up in the night and going into the kitchen or getting into trouble elsewhere. This meant that one of us always slept with him; either in his room or he slept in the big bed. Unfortunately none of the beds were what you would call comfy!

Just Like Flowers....

If you can let go of worry, and be peacefully and enthusiastically open to change, relaxing into each moment of the process, the answers to questions will come. You can’t control change. You have to let it guide you. Just as a flower doesn’t have to plan how to reach toward the sun, but reaches unerringly in the right direction in response to moment by moment signals, you too can open to your own sun without knowing beforehand where it will take you. Trust that being present in the moment’s flow will provide the answers. Trust, and become calmer. The calmer you are, the more the next steps in your life will reveal themselves. When you feel focused instead of agitated, the elements of your new life will gradually come into focus.

Just like flowers, we are all changing moment by moment. Sometimes, the process of change is more obvious than others, but life is definitely about change, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. When we understand this truth at a deep level, we begin to focus on being present and balanced in the moment, available to respond fully to whatever comes our way, rather than trying to control outcomes.

Self-Empowerment: Part Seven by Ingrid Bacci
http://www.ingridbacci.com/