Time to De-Clutter

I remember Uncle Dean saying a few months ago that their house looked like they had been burgled. I am beginning to know what he means. Jamie is now nearly 11 months and is into everything that he can reach. We have left the days of moving things out of his way as he moves about and we have entered the phase of things being moved permanently. I must say this felt quite cathartic yesterday, as if a wind had blown through, making me feel somehow calmer and happier.

I am just conscious of all the 'stuff' that now resides in the loft..... Do I get rid of all Jamie's baby stuff now or wait in case.......in case of what? Daddy casually said this week; 'why don't we have another?' but I think this was chiefly because we both feel so lucky to have Jamie and he has been a wonderful baby thus far. At the moment it feels right to stick to just the one for a number of reasons; space, money, luck factor (he's been so good, the next may be hell!). When we went out with some friends for my birthday we did mention the 'one or two' debate. Both couples had two children and both said; "if you think you have hardly any time for yourself now, you will have no time at all if you have two."

Currently reading a very good book; Family Life Made Easy by Grace Saunders, Arrow Books (2009) in which she discusses the second child dilemma with the help of Rebecca Adams; journalist and writer. 'Many people who would really be happy to settle for one child feel under pressure not to condemn their first born to life as an only child, whereas in fact there are clear advantages to being an only child. Academically, only children do better and research has failed to turn up any proven emotional or psychological drawbacks. Any disadvantages to being an only child are more likely to be felt later in life when responsibility for ageing parents cannot be shared with a sibling. My advice to a mother who feels under pressure is to remain true to her own instinct. After all, there's no law saying 'those shalt have more than one child' and what an only child might miss out on in terms of the hurly burly of larger family life they will certainly make up for in other ways.'

Snotty Week

Been a bit of a bad week for both of us. Not just because of the generally ill / tired feeling that comes with a cold, but also because we missed baby signing, a play date with the twins as well as a long awaited swimming trip with the girls. I was really upset about the swimming as I wanted to try out Jamie in his arm bands and see which nappies and trunks fitted him. I hope we don't have to wait til we go to Center Parcs in May (13 weeks and counting) before we get a chance to go swimming again.

I am conscious that mummy is not loosing weight very quickly. I think it is slowly coming off but only at a rate of about a pound every 2-3 weeks. I know this is chiefly because I have been unable to do any exercise. This is because 1) I am too tired in an evening to make it to the gym 2) It is still incredibly cold out there! Snow again this morning. Jamie has had another night this week when he ended up in our bed because of the cold, but since the plumber looked at his radiator it is certainly warmer in there in the day.

I ended up ringing the doctor this week about Jamie and it wasn't due to the green goo coming out of his nose, but rather the cradle cap that appeared on his head. www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/cradlecap2.shtml I spotted the yellow-brown scales on his head on Tuesday morning and spoke to the doctor in the afternoon who suggested rubbing Olive Oil on it and then washing his hair vigorously a few hours later. That seemed to do the trick. We actually think it was caused by the warm, snuggly nights he spent in bed with us during the cold snap.

Happy 1st Birthday Lucy!!

Can't believe it is a year since cousin Lucy was born.... So Valentines Day and no card; only a nice runny nose and a snotty son to go with it. We did all go out on Saturday night for a lovely pub meal with 4 friends and the girls Emily and Ella. This was the first time we had taken Jamie out for a 'proper' meal where he also sat at the table with the rest of us. OK so he had a high chair, but it was the first time. Previously he has always remained in the car seat on the floor or on one of our laps. The evening didn't start off too promising as we had to change his nappy in the car due to an 'incident' on the way. I would have used the facility in the pub but it was a foldaway type and didn't look too safe - what with Jamie's tendency to jiffle so much when having his nappy changed. It is getting harder and harder to dress or change him as he moves about so much. He is into everything at the moment and wants to be off to the next thing - no time for changing!! Unfortunately, Jamie was mid change and screaming nicely when the first of our friends arrived in the car park. I think they nearly turned round and went home!! But the evening got considerably better once we were all settled in the nice warm pub. He sat for most of the night in the high chair and even had a crawl around on the floor with the girls once we had frightened off the rest of the customers!!

He seems to be suddenly catching up. After a few months of us thinking he was never going to sit up unaided he is now pulling himself to standing using anything he can find; bath, toilet, high chair (although he doesn't seem to like sitting in it), our bed (which he still prefers to his own bed), a large plant pot, our legs, record cases, doors. Oh yes, he has a thing for doors - opening and shutting them (usually when he is on the wrong side!). This means everything has had to move up a shelf and Jamie has a new selection of CDs to throw on the floor.

His eating has improved since the initial visit from Shirley the Nursery Nurse. She returned 2 weeks after the initial visit and was pleased at what she saw - Jamie in a high chair eating a Stage 2 meal. It doesn't always happen like this but we are getting there.....I just need to train Grandad as I came home last Friday to find Jamie had had his daily quota of milk (21oz) in one morning!! But Saturday night he sat at the high chair in the pub and had a baby yogurt followed by various pieces of food from our plates; chips, peas, chicken and Gill even fed him some of her custard - which he loved!!

Dust if you must....

Just read a fantastic book; The Spend Less Handbook: 365 Tips for a Better Quality of Life While Actually Spending Less by Rebecca Ash, Capstone Publishing (2008). Although it chiefly focuses on saving money, it also talks about the links between a consumer mentality, stress and why we are not leading the life we dream of.

Consider; 'You won’t get to the end of your life and wish you’d made more money – you’ll wish you spent more time staring at the clouds, playing with your children or doing something more meaningful' and 'Remember that you only have one life, and you really ought to live life as if you only had a few months left of it. Make time to do things that will add real value to your life – things that will make you feel like the person you want to be, the person you would like to be remembered as when you die.'

It features a poem which I have never seen before which I feel sums it all up:

Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better to paint a picture, or write a letter, bake a cake, or plant a seed. Ponder the difference between want and need.

Dust if you must, but there’s not much time, with rivers to swim and mountains to climb! Music to hear, and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world’s out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain, this day will not come round again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and its not kind. And when you go, and go you must, you, yourself, will make more dust!

Anonymous

Finally bought that High Chair.....

...then sent it back and bought another one.

We have moved the dining table back into position (instead of against the wall) and have put Jamie’s new highchair at the head of the table. No more eating in his baby walker while watching Escape to the Country in the front room. We had our visit from one of the Nursery Nurses (as promised by the Health Visitor) and she pointed out some of our (obvious) failings in our feeding of Jamie. We need to make a conscious effort to:

All sit at the table. Jamie should now be eating (just about) the same as the rest of the family. Not to rush our meals.
Have 3 meals a day with finger foods in-between i.e. soft fruit, veg, rice cakes etc.
Aim for different tastes and textures.
Encourage Jamie to feed himself whenever possible, even though there may be more of a mess; he will enjoy it.
Give food before milk.
Milk is not a food; it’s a drink. Water is a drink. Give Jamie a beaker of cooled, boiled water. The more food your baby eats the less milk they will need.
Organisation is key!

I think what I have been getting so stressed out about is the overload of information that seems to hit you from every angle; Health Visitors, friends, family, emails, the internet, books etc. I just wasn’t sure what I should be doing and Jamie had a few days when he would not eat Stage 2, gagged on his food, or simply just threw it all back up again. I found it all a bit scary. One of the many pieces of literature I picked up at the hospital said; It is important to introduce mashed small, soft pieces to encourage your baby to chew. Try to do this before 10 months because babies introduced to lumpy food after 10 months eat a smaller range of family foods and are more likely to have feeding difficulties. I was beginning to panic!

Borrowed Annabel Karmel's Top 100 Baby Purees, Ebury (2005) from a friend and although I decided against getting involved in the puree side of things the summaries at the start of each chapter were useful; Second Stage Weaning: 7-9 months: Try peeled apple, pear, banana, seedless grapes, dried fruit, steamed or raw veg (sticks of) or cucumber, broccoli, cubes of cheese, fingers of toast, mini sarnies, rice cakes

Growing Independence: 9-12 months. This is a time of growing independence (Annabel says) and you may find your baby will increasingly insist on feeding himself. Offer finger foods as part of his meals to give chewing practice and encourage him to feed himself. Give steamed or raw vegetable sticks or fresh fruit. His diet can now include virtually all the same foods as the rest of the family, apart from added salt, lightly cooked eggs, unpasturised cheeses, low fat or high fibre products, whole nuts and honey. If your baby is on the move you may need to increase the amount of food you give. Make sure his diet includes full fat dairy products in addition to fruit and vegetables. Babies only have small stomachs and need to be fed at regular intervals. Try to dispense with bottles by the time your baby is a year old, apart from perhaps one at bedtime. Encourage them to drink from a cup or beaker – it is better for their teeth.

The Health Visitors also suggested scrambled egg, potato mash, melon fingers (good when teething), ice cream, jelly, custard and emphasised the need for Jamie to be able to play with the food himself; which may lead him to eventually want to feed himself. Auntie Hannah came up with a good idea; give him another spoon to play with / use, while you are feeding. I read somewhere else that said chasing foods round a highchair tray is good practice for hand and eye coordination skills!!

An NHS leaflet we were given on Weaning suggested from about 9 months; Try to include 3-4 servings of starchy food each day; potatoes, rice, pasta, bread and at least 3-4 portions of fruit and veg and at least 2 portions of meat, fish, egg or pulses.

To some people this all might seem a little bit too obvious, but as most of my friends know, I am the world’s worst cook and have never had any sense of what should be eaten with what. Up until now me and Daddy have existed on a variety of convenience foods and the occasional take away. I wouldn’t know where to start with a full meal. I did put on my list of ‘Things to do before I am 40’ http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.com/2008/09/in-my-40th-year.html about cooking a full dinner party menu but I can’t see that happening anytime soon!!