Ashes to Ashes....

At the weekend I went with the Bull to Grassington; mainly to attend the Grassington Festival. It is also the place where nearly 15 years ago we laid my dad's ashes. Being there didn't really make me feel any closer to him. As I said to the Bull, he didn't die there or even live there, it was just a place my mum chose to take his ashes as they had visited there together. I can't ever remember going there with my dad - though I probably did at some stage - so there isn't really any 'presence' to be felt.

It did lead to a conversation about where I would like my ashes taken and to be honest I said my back garden next to Burtie (who is happily still with us!)..... There isn't anywhere else I have been happier!!

Turning the Corner : Part 2

Today I decided to withdraw from my sessions with Psychological Therapies. In total I have had 7 sessions and I do feel I have benefited from them. However, as I wrote in my letter; I feel that I have almost turned that corner and perhaps it is time for me to continue alone and let someone else take up your valuable time.

In truth, I myself have now started to appreciate this 'Valuable time' - what with work, friends and family. My precious cat has been ill over the past few weeks - thankfully better now -and it concentrates your thoughts. My mother continues to be, well, my mother, and I am sad to say I had a bit of a fall out with her, but I do feel glad that I (finally) said the things I said. I am just upset with myself for letting it get to this stage. I hope she takes it on board. If not, I shall have to accept the relationship is never going to be anything other than what it has become....

Complaint Update!

The Complaints Department - or whatever they are officially called - rang me last week to get an extension on the date they promised to resolve my complaint by. The reason? My Consultant was on annual leave for three weeks and they are therefore unable to complete our investigation until they return. I told her this was the main reason for my complaint in the first place. She didn't quite see the irony. So now it will be the 23rd July before I hear anything - unless he decides to take more time off!!! The phrase used in the letter dates 20th June is: On this basis I would expect the process to be completed and a response posted to you on or before the 23rd July 2008.

3 weeks since my last post...

....is this a record of sorts? Not sure and I have not got time to check!! Anyway, I did send off a letter of complaint to the NHS about my treatment and they sent me back a standard reply to say they will look into it and get back to me before the 9th July so watch this space!! My letter basically gave them a run down of my recent history and then raised the following points:

1. I was given contradictory information by a member of Mr **s team. My partner and I had no reason to doubt what he told us - that the cyst could cause a miscarriage and / or complications - so we stopped trying for a baby.

2. Because of being given false information I have undergone an unnecessary procedure. Perhaps if we had been seen by Mr ** himself prior to the operation, he would have realised I did not actually need the operation.

3. My partner and I have suffered a huge amount of stress caused by; Having to attend the antenatal clinic on a number of occasions post miscarriage, The fear that getting pregnant could result in a further miscarriage, The thought of having an operation and a general anaesthetic; especially as my father had died during a routine operation, The lumps that appeared under the skin following the operation and led me to visit my GP on the 9th May (haematoma). The trauma of the miscarriage seems to be never ending. Since November I have been seeing a Community Mental Health Nurse approximately twice a month and all of this has done nothing to relieve the pressure.

4. I should like to also draw your attention to the fact that my outpatients’ appointments were in the same place (Maternity Unit) as where I had my 13 week scan and was told I had lost the baby. When a couple walked past with what was obviously their scan photo I could not help but cry. The doctor asked ‘Why are you upset?’ (October 2007). I find it distressing that women who have had miscarriages are seen in the same place as (and surrounded by) pregnant women. I was also upset that my doctor obviously did not know how and when the cyst was found.

5. We have had to finance travel expenses, car parking, petrol, and we have had to have time off work and college which we now know were unnecessary.

Well, it certainly says how we felt, so I shall see what they say in reply. Following the Op I did speak to a couple of solicitors with regards to claiming for Medical Negligence but apparently the NHS has to accept responsibility which they rarely do, but I shall feel better if they at least try and address the issues I have raised. I will - of course - keep the blog updated as to any developments.