What you can learn from being a mum

I recently got sent a very interesting article from gurgle - see:
www.gurgle.com/articles/Play___Learn/36532/What_you_can_learn_from_being_a_mum.aspx

Many parents claim they change significantly when they become parents. According to Katherine Ellison, author of The Mommy Brain, Basic Books, 2005, mothers’ are more perceptive, efficient, resilient, motivated and emotionally intelligent if they have been through pregnancy and motherhood.


Here are ten things that having babies can teach you:

1) To get your priorities straight Although pregnancy has its aches and pains, it can teach you a lot about your body. It’s funny how women will stop drinking and smoking when there is a baby inside them, yet it never occurred to them to cut down or stop for themselves. Don't lose interest in you once your baby is born, take care of your body and you'll feel better in the mind!

2) To handle pain! There is truly no other pain. Giving birth is painful but is also requires strength, willpower, determination, endurance and instinct; all of which comes naturally to most mothers. You should be extremely proud that you got through this incredible feat. And after you've given birth, catching flu, breaking bones, training for a marathon, looking after six kids… It’s all a doddle after a three-day labour! Now you know you have the strength to survive labour and birth you can apply that strength to other areas of your life.

3) The importance of sleep According to the National Sleep Foundation, the average adult needs seven to nine hours sleep per night to function normally! If there is a time in your life when you appreciate the value of sleep it’s when you become a sleep deprived new mum. You’ll appreciate sleep so much you will never squander it away again. Any chance for a lie-in – take it! If your body is telling you you’re tired, go to bed; who cares if it’s 9am! And if you can sneak in a daytime catnap – do, you’ll be amazed at how refreshed you feel!

4) To love unconditionally It’s very hard to imagine the love you’ll feel for your newborn before you give birth and most mums are bowled over by the surge of love they feel when they do meet their babies. It can shock some women when they first feel this feeling but it’s a healthy normal emotion. As your children grow you should always tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always be there for them. Once they understand it, you can tell them how much you loved them right from the minute you set eyes on them. The feeling of being loved is just as important as loving someone else and can help your child to feel secure and confident.

5) To be impulsive Toddlers act on impulse and never really think of the consequences. Adults constantly think of the consequences and rarely act on impulse: it’s pretty obvious who is having more fun. Take the lead from your child, if she wants a pink ice cream while dressed as a fairy for a walk in the park, why not? The same goes for you, wear what you want to wear and do what makes you happy. Instead of focusing in what other people may think, try to do something everyday that you enjoy.

6) To learn from mistakes You’ll be surprised at how much your child can learn from making a mistake, even getting their shoes wet by jumping in a big puddle, or knocking over their glass of milk. We could all learn from our children this way. If you know there is something you are bad at (dealing with stress before a holiday for example), pre-empt this by organising the things that stress you out.

7) To understand emotions better As adults, we’ll have been having our own lessons from our babies and will be experts at decoding their emotions, but we can also look at other adults and try to work out how they are feeling too. If someone you know is suddenly distant or seems upset about something, apply the same sensitivity as you do with your baby. First and foremost they probably need a hug, then you can try to talk about how they are feeling. Unlike children, adults can express successfully how they are feeling and encouraging someone to talk about their feelings can help them to open up.

8) To explore what is in front of you Babies and children of all ages become obsessed with things that are right in front of them. Toddlers can become engrossed in a painting they are doing or are fascinated by their fingers and toes. We can learn from this by taking a step back and looking at what is around us. Are we so busy zipping about to toddler groups and baby massage, that we have forgotten how wonderful our small gardens are, or how therapeutic it is to steal our toddler’s crayons and draw a picture?

9) To forgive and forget Toddlers can throw huge tantrums, normally in socially unacceptable situations like at the supermarket till or at a wedding! With a little distraction and a change of scenery your toddler will likely calm down and forget very quickly why he was upset. The same goes for nursery niggles; if your toddler had a spat with another toddler at playschool, they’ll probably be best friends ten minutes later! Adults can learn from children in this way and put an end to any ‘adult spats’ that might occur in their lives. If there is one thing having children can teach you, it’s that you’d rather spend time having fun and enjoying life than seeking revenge or fighting constantly with someone.

10) It’s OK to be dirty… In the fifties mothers' were obsessed with cleanliness and having a child covered in dirt was an indication that you were a bad mother! Nowadays, thankfully, having a child covered in muddy puddles or paint splatters just means you had a fun afternoon. As an adult we can learn from this by not obsessing about what our houses look like (because lets face it, if you have kids, it’s impossible to be house-proud!), or if we forget to put mascara or lipstick on. In fact there is nothing better than pulling on your own wellie boots and splashing about with your toddler – who cares if your new jeans get ruined!