Vocabulary (month 20)

Thanks to Daddy being home and our visits to friends and family, Jamie's vocab seems to be increasing by the day!

www.Gurgle.com confirm that this month your toddler’s vocabulary comes on in leaps and bounds. He can now say many words and will start to pair words up, ‘milk’ will become ‘want milk’ or ‘me hungry’. Keep up that running commentary you’ve been doing since your toddler was a tiny baby. If a friend comes round and you are chatting make sure your toddler is in the room with you, as toddlers learn as much from hearing people speak as they do people speaking to them.

Most children need no help with talking and go quickly from babbling their first words to spilling out as many words as they can in a breath. Your toddler’s comprehension almost doubles by the time they get to a year-and-a-half and the number of words he knows will expand daily. You can help your toddler to talk by starting early and giving them lots of your time and encouragement. Jamie certainly babbles and every so often a word pops out that we recognise. We play the pointing game regularly; "Show me the ....." and Jamie has started to repeat words. He adds a new word every few days. Last week it was Santa!!

Give everything a name
Name everything in your toddler's world verbally; so if you are bathing him name the duck, taps, water, bubbles, wet toes, wet fingers, wet nose… and so on. When you are in the park name the trees, swings, birds, flowers, other people around you, so that everything in your toddler's world has a name. Use your baby’s name as much as you can so he is aware of his own identity i.e Is it Jamie’s bathtime now? Already doing check!!

Read to your child
Reading to your baby at a young age helps them to hear and understand the inclinations and emotions of speech. You can point to a picture and say the word, ‘fire engine’ to help them recognise the names for things. If you are telling a story use different voices for each character and even different accents if you can manage. Already doing check!!

Listen to what your baby is saying
When you ask your baby a question, wait to see what his response is; it might be a smile, a look towards a toy, or even a babble but it is a response. Try to answer the babbles as if you were having a proper conversation, so say, ‘Really, how interesting, what a lovely day you’ve had’. If your baby is trying to tell you something, help them by pointing to what it might be, for instance, do you want milk? Your book? Your shoes? And wait for them to respond to what you are pointing at. Already doing check!!

Numbers and colours
Use numbers and colours as much as you can for things, for example, ‘Look, I can see two red buses’ or ‘Look at those three yellow flowers, can you see them?’ Sing songs which help to teach your toddler numbers like ‘Ten green bottles’ or ‘One, two, buckle my shoe’. Try to count things out as much as possible, so when you give your toddler some food say, ‘Two slices of carrot for you’.

Baby language
Try not to use too much baby language as you talk as babies learn to speak faster if you talk to them normally. That does not mean you have to insist on him calling you 'mum', you can still use words like dolly, daddy and mummy while they are small.

Give your toddler choices
Choices enable your toddler to respond and talk back, so if you have a bowl of fruit say, 'Which piece of fruit would you like; the banana, apple or pear?' Give your toddler a chance to reply, even by pointing. Hide things and see if your toddler can find them, so say, ‘Where is your ball? Is it under the slide, or in the sandpit?' Then wait till your toddler responds, or runs over to find the ball.

Corrections
Try not to correct your toddler too much when he mis-pronounces words or uses the wrong word for an object, or he may give up trying. Repeat back the sentence using the right word, for instance, if he says, ‘Wan milw..’ you can say, ‘You want the milk, ok, I’ll get it’. As cute as it is when toddlers mis-pronounce words, try not to repeat them back as your toddler will use them more if she sees it makes you laugh.

Frustration
Unfortunately as your toddler starts to be able to communicate with you, he will also become frustrated at not being able to get his point across. He simply cannot find the right words, but wants you to know something. This usually results in a tantrum, or a very red-faced frustrated toddler. Try to listen to your child when he is trying to tell you something and always give him choices; 'do you want to wear your welly boots or your blue shoes? Is better than saying 'what do you want to wear? for example.

Compare and Contrast

Referring to my last post (Note to Self) the weekend before Christmas I visited both Brewsters www.brewersfayre.co.uk/ and Wacky Warehouse www.wackywarehouse.co.uk/ with Jamie for a couple of Christmas get-togethers. Food was not that exciting at either but the fun for the children and limited risk of injury in the soft play areas was worth it!! Hoping to take Jamie and Noah for Nanna's birthday in the New Year and to meet up with other play mates very soon! I have not weighed myself yet - I am saving that until New Years Day....

Christmas this year has been more exciting than last year. Jamie has gained a little more understanding. He knows what Santa looks like but has had no concept of what Santa actually means for children. Next year is when it will really get interesting....

Christmas has given us a great opportunity over the past few weeks to visit and meet up with a lot of family and friends. This has meant a leap in his vocab and social skills! I can't say Jamie was spoilt this Christmas, but he has certainly got a lot of new toys and books to play with. And he is so happy that daddy is here to spend a lot of time with him.

Note to Self....

Last year I gained over 5lbs in 3weeks over Christmas by drinking and eating too much!!

It's already started.....

Blog Baby 20

Congratulations to cousin Jon and his wife Kharnly on the birth of their daughter Charlie. Weighing in at 6lbs 15oz. One week early. Born 8.28pm on the 16th December in Sydney, Australia. Luckily Nanna and Grandad are there at the moment. All our best to you all!!

Sorry Santa....

....but Jamie found you a little scary at the playgroup Christmas Party.

Baby Signing Christmas Party

Still have ice and snow all around and now the Christmas parties have started. Monday was the Baby Signing Christmas party and, as last year and every week, Jamie loved it!! See: www.babysigning.org.uk/ Noah made it along too and there were lots of babies / children that Jamie knew. I am really pleased as he is getting a little bit more sociable every day and although he usually starts a group sitting on mummy's lap, by the end of a group he is usually somewhere in the middle finding out what is going on...

We went to Storytime at the library on Tuesday but Jamie didn't get the chance to be sociable as we were the only ones that turned up. But this did mean we got to take home the best books and got extra chocolates. Jamie loves the edition of The Gruffalo that we have borrowed where he can press the buttons to make the sounds as we tell the story.

Last Friday at playgroup however, I was especially happy as just before we left he was playing peek-a-boo with a little girl and running around giggling. He really seemed to be enjoying himself! Previously I had been worried he did not like it. Friday is the play group Christmas party so I am hoping the snow does not return as promised.....

Santa Run 2010 Completed...

...but it was B***** Freezing!

The organisers did a fantastic job making sure it went ahead but we were glad when it was over......

Snow, Snow and more Snow....

We have been caught in the middle of what can almost be described as an Arctic winter for over a week now. It was minus 12 on Monday when mummy ventured out to attend an interview (not sure about how it went or whether I actually want the job due to strange shift pattern!). Today we braved the cold and ice to walk to the library to meet Bookstart Bear http://www.bookstart.org.uk/. The pram was slipping all over the ice and Jamie got a bit upset as his fingers were so cold (he kept taking his gloves off) but it was worth it. Two girls read a couple of stories, sang songs and made a stocking - which was very messy!! And we all got to meet Bookstart Bear; who seemed to scare most of the children. We met some other children and hope to see Ben and his mum again next week at Storytime. Oh and we came away with a bag of goodies including 2 really good books. Also in the goodie bag was a number chart which we have put on Jamie's wall to hopefully help with his learning.

The snow has meant that a lot of things had to be cancelled last week - including the Lincoln Christmas Market. We also missed the Santa Special railway which we had all been looking forward to. We were supposed to meet cousin Noah and they were all going to come back here for a bit of a buffet tea, so we were all disappointed that the points were frozen (among other things!). Dramabugs was also cancelled and we missed the last swimming lesson of the term. And my interview was actually moved from the Thursday to this Monday. But it was still very cold...but I did get some Christmas shopping done while I was out. I also bought Jamie a 2.5 tog sleeping bag from Mothercare and this has solved the problem of Jamie waking about 3am due to kicking his covers off and then getting cold. Well worth the money! Fingers crossed the temperature is slowly rising as we are hoping to take part in the Santa Run on Sunday!

20 months and too much TV

I've said it before; 'Where has all the time gone?'

www.Gurgle.com has this to say about Month 19: It probably doesn’t seem that long ago that you were feeding your baby with pureed carrot, but these days he’s making a mess and desperate to feed himself! He is now able to use his hands to complete fairly complicated tasks and is probably ready to try a spoon and fork. Make sure you sit as a family during mealtimes so he knows what spoons and forks are used for, cover the floor with something food-proof and definitely don’t serve peas! Your toddler should get the hang of cutlery in time and will probably mean normality returns to your mealtimes again. Mealtimes are very messy with Jamie as he does love to feed himself, but a lot of the time he prefers to use his hands and when he has had enough he usually tips the bowl over himself; that’s unless he has already tipped everything out already onto his tray! Saying that we have been out a number of times and he always behaves when we go out. At Nanna’s 90^th he did spend some time under the table but he actually ate what we did while sat at the table instead of a high chair. He has learnt to ‘help himself’ from the fridge in a morning when he wants a yogurt or fruit snack and he does eat most things we give him.

This month your toddler seems to have the energy of a bull (albeit in a china shop) as he tears around, aching to be let outof the house so he can run free in the park. However, the weather generally dictates your toddlers day-to-day activities and when it rains, you are stuck inside. Instead of putting on the television, try putting on some music and dancing with your toddler. Choose songs that direct your child to do something (head, shoulders, knees and toes), or that speed up each verse so your toddler has to speed up his actions. Alternatively you can try a copycat game, where he has to copy your dance moves. (It’s a good workout for you too). Jamie certainly loves dancing and turns the stereo on whenever he wants – which is often just as we are trying to get him into bed. Of course the weather has been terrible over the last week – mi8nus 12 on Monday so we have not gone out as much as we usually do. This has placed a bit of a strain on what we do but I have tried to keep away from the TV – although Jamie does love it!

Here is what Gurgle.com has to say about Television Viewing

Although it is well documented that too much TV is bad for any child, don’t beat yourself up about your toddler’s TV watching if it is a short burst once a day and does not become a habit. Try to engage your toddler in conversation about the programme he was watching, so he thinks about what he has seen. Try not to make watching television an activity in itself. Topics and activities from programmes can be used as “springboards” for other activities – if your child has shown an interest in something she has watched, try and extend that activity or topic into something that you can do together. Children are often thrilled if they can manage to make something they’ve seen made on television, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Other than that make it clear to your toddler that he can only watch one television programme a day. Don't use television as a fall back
It’s important not to fall back on television when you’re too tired to do anything active or creative with him, or as a “babysitter” for him when you have other things to be getting on with such as work or household chores. Try where you can to watch programmes together, and take the time to explain things to him as you watch. This helps make watching television less passive and more of an interactive experience for your child.

How much television should my child be allowed to watch?
Experts generally tend to agree that television is not suitable at all for small babies. Up to the age of two, it’s recommended that you limit your child’s television watching to short periods at a time – 10-15 minute chunks are ideal. Between the ages of 2 and 3 the general recommendation is for no more than 1 hour a day.

What should I let my child watch?
Many parents set limits on television, either by restricting the choice of programmes to one or two “approved” programmes a day, or setting a limit on the amount of time their children spend watching television, or limiting viewing to a certain time of day. The key is really to make sure that they are watching programming which is good quality. This could be by promoting some kind of constructive activity – getting them up and about dancing or showing them how to make something simple – or through an educational focus, such as by exposing them to a different culture, or getting them involved in a story which helps develop their imagination and their concentration skills. Try to watch programmes yourself for the first time to check if you think they are suitable. Some programming, even if ostensibly aimed at children, is poor quality and contains unsuitable subject matter for young children, and commercial channels often carry advertisements for unhealthy food or products which you may not want to expose your children to. If you decide your child is allowed to watch a programme, turn the programme off when it has finished, rather than letting your child watch the television mindlessly for hours.

Television pace
There has been extensive research into the pace of what children see on television and how they absorb it. Slower-paced television is much better for children especially if it is in the evening and they need winding down for bed. Fast action, changing colours and loud music etc will make your child zone out rather than engage with what he is watching.

Watch television with your child
A recent study found that children whose parents watched television with them and engaged them in conversation about what they watched scored significantly higher in tests than those children who watched television mindlessly on their own. Of course there will be times when you are exhausted or need to put the shopping away when you are grateful for the television, but if you can make it more of a social, family event rather than a solitary activity, your child will benefit.

Nearly back to normal...

Although both me and Jamie are still coughing a little when we go to bed, I think we are both (finally) on the mend. Unfortunately, this means that most of November has been lost in a haze of sleepy, cough and snot filled days.

This weekend we had a visit from cousin Lucy and family and it is amazing how much she is talking and how much she picks up on what people say. Jamie has advanced a lot in the last few months and it is brilliant to read with him when he is able to pick out the pictures on the page or point to things in the room, but Lucy is a little bit further on....

Friday we took Nanna Grace out for her 90th birthday. I do hope that I am as sprightly as she is when I am 90. There were 7 adults and Lucy and Jamie and they all behaved themselves!! Jamie was so cute kissing everyone!!

First Trip to the Dentist

Yesterday Jamie had his first 'proper' trip to the dentist but it was all a bit of a farce as we could not get parked, and so Daddy and Jamie had to run in, and Mummy had to wait in the car - trying to get a space. They were in and out in only a few minutes, but it turned out that they had been confused with another person called Simpson who saw our usual dentist and Daddy and Jamie saw a different dentist. This 'new' dentist had only a quick look at Jamie, who was on Daddy's knee, and then he looked at Daddy's and said he needed a filling!! On their way out Daddy spoke to our usual dentist who said he didn't need a filling as he had been monitoring that tooth for a while..... Luckily I did get to see our usual dentist (following Daddy and Jamie taking over sitting in the car) but I did witness one of the dental nurses in tears. I suspect she was responsible for the mix up!!

Cough, Cough, Cough, Cough.....

Its been a whole week of coughing for both me and Jamie and its only this morning that I feel slightly better. We did take Jamie to the Drs on Tuesday but he said that as there was nothing on his chest just to give it a few days. We were worried he had conjunctivitis; especially as Noah had had it last week, but that only lasted a couple of days and could have been just snot!!

We had a few nights/mornings of throwing up due to the amount of coughing and I nearly rang NHS Direct a couple of times. We have consequently been watching far too much TV as mummy has been too tired to do much at all.

It seems (once again) that there is 'a lot of it about' as both the twins have been suffering as well as Noah, and unfortunately one of Noah's friends was admitted to hospital this week. He started with a chest infection a few weeks ago and is now on oxygen and inhalers after developing a virus! Makes you think...and worry......

Blog Babies 18 and 19

Congratulations to Ros (school friend) and Andrew on the birth of George Henry James born on the 20th October weighing 9lbs 1oz. Brother for Joseph and Harry.

And Congratulations to Vicky and Lenny on Archie George born 1st November.

Happy Halloween

Its been a bit of a stressful week this week for mummy. Jamie however has had a brilliant couple of weeks. After the scandal at Baby Signing he was then invited to Sophie's 2nd birthday party where all the children dressed up in their Halloween costumes. There seemed to be more witches than anything else, and Isla was there, so Jamie at least knew a few faces. On the Sunday we decided to go and watch daddy play football, but we shall not be doing that again as it was cold, dangerous (due to flying footballs) and the language was terrible!! Then this week Jamie attended another Halloween party with the Drama Bugs http://www.dramabugs.co.uk/ which was pretty mad with all the older children running and shouting about, but Jamie found out how much he liked crisps!! And in amongst all of this he went for his first swimming lesson.

As for mummy, she had an interview and was offered the job but then got totally stressed trying to sort out child care for the first few weeks. She had just got it all sorted when the job rang to change her second weeks shift. This turned out to be totally impossible to organise around Jamie and daddy's shifts, and so mummy has had to resign before she even started! We have realised that what mummy needs is a job with set hours so there isn't stress every week trying to juggle Jamie about. Things aren't at a total loss though, as mummy has got another interview in a few weeks.....

Goodbye Steph

Today we said goodbye to a dear friend who always had a smile on his face. Not yet 40, he had had a heart problem all his life and suffered a fatal heart attack. He didn't really do much to help himself. He smoked and drank and hardly ate at all. But he was like a little boy; always up to mischief with that cheeky grin on his face.... God Bless.

They played a couple of songs at his funeral I now won't be able to hear without filling up; Stone Roses - Sally Cinnamon, and The Beautiful South - One Last Love Song, and the following poem was read out:

Remember by Christina Rosetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Scandal at Baby Signing....

....Jamie and Isla caught snogging under the parachute!!

Visit to Dr Mark

Up early and off to B&Q for some pre-Christmas DIY and while we were there; mummy was looking at curtains and daddy pushing the trolley, a (rather strange) man started talking to Jamie. As we moved off he commented 'Your son's got a lazy eye. It's ok they can correct it easily nowadays'. Neither of us were quite sure what to say. This is not the first time this comment has been made. We did ask about his eyes at one of his early checks and were told it was normal. All of a sudden we were worried again! So off we went to see Dr Mark who looked at both of Jamie's eyes. He thought his left might be a bit 'lazy' but he also said it could be due to Jamie's nose being in his vision! He has referred us to the hospital. We should have an appointment in 6-8weeks, so feel slightly better.

New Tricks

Had cousin Lucy, Auntie Chrissie and Uncle Dean over for the weekend and Jamie has been a little tinker ever since!! I can honestly say it brought Jamie on no end. Just shows the power of play and interaction with other children, and makes me realise the value of taking Jamie to the groups we try and get to every week. I was worried for a while that he wasn't social enough but I think (hope) that is changing...

We played musical statues - with Jamie at the CD Player: Play. Pause. Play. Pause - Lucy loved it!! And we went for a ride on the miniature railway. We also got to visit Nanna Grace who will be 90 in a few weeks and was up playing football (don't tell Mo!). We are all looking forward to their next visit!

Very first haircut today....

I know, 18months old and only just had a hair cut. He has has lovely long and thick hair for a few months now but I am afraid to say I have just been putting off the trip to the hairdresser. But after having my own hair done on Wednesday, I decided to take the plunge and book him and daddy in. When we got there I found out we should have gone yesterday but that's another story....

And don't tell Nanna that this week an old man actually accused Jamie of being a girl - Nanna has been trying to get us to take him to the hairdresser for months now!

Did he behave? Well, he got his hair cut, but there was a large amount of jiffling about and nearly a whole packet of milky way stars given in bribes!! At least he can see now and we can only blame his new trainers when he walks into something....

Look at the state of my house!!

I spent a few days last week giving the house a damn good clean. Nanna took Jamie out and I managed to clean all the floors (we have wooden floors throughout). Cousin Lucy was supposed to be visiting at the weekend and this was the spark but once I got started.... However, the weekend came and went and Uncle Dean was ill so they did not make it but as for my tidy house - what happened?

One big excuse I have is that Jamie is showing an early aversion to anything domestic (typical male!) in that he cries when either the lawnmover or hoover start, and he simply will not have me washing up as he pulls me away from the sink whenever I start!! Then there is the phrase; 'two steps forward and one step back' which seems to aptly sum up my cleaning when Jamie is about! He loves carrying his toys around from one room to another and throwing anything in a basket (toys, DVDs, mum's paperwork etc.) onto the floor. He loves opening and emptying drawers at the moment (especially my jewellery drawer), but still loves his old favourite; pulling all the CDs off the rack. And as for music to clean by - which I find always helps - Jamie has found the pause button and loves pausing any CD you play. Pause. Play. Pause. Play. Pause - get it? Jamie thinks it is a brilliant game!!

Saying all that, the house does feel fresher and as we suddenly had a free weekend we did manage to sort the garden out ready for the autumn. This meant putting away a lot of Jamie's toys and we wonder will he want them in the spring or will he have grown out of them?

Purchase of the Month: Little Wellington Boots for Jamie to slip on and off as we go outside into the damp garden. No more soggy trainers!!

18 months already!?

Jamie is 18 months old today - where has all the time gone?
Seems like only yesterday.....

A lot of it about....

Do you find when you say 'I'm not feeling too well' etc. someone will always say; 'Well, there's a lot of it about'. Friday there were a few of us missing from playgroup. Zoe had a high temperature, Emily had the start of a cold and Jamie has been teething this week so we decided to stay at home in the warm. Along with the teething, Jamie has been suffering with a very red face, but I am not sure whether it really bothers him that much. It just looks sore. And then, cousin Lucy should be visiting this weekend but Uncle Dean is full of cold.

Since Jamie has been born and, not counting the time spent in hospital and with the tube, Jamie has been quite a healthy baby. Last weekend we had one of our worst. On the Friday afternoon he seemed perfectly healthy and had a good tea of toast and macaroni cheese. But not long after he had his night time milk he threw it back up again and then proceeded to at least try to be sick about every hour. It seemed as if it may have been his stomach but we weren't sure. It really frightened me as I don't like him being ill, and straight away panicked it could be something serious! Saturday morning and we tried him on some milk again and the same thing happened - big chunks of congealed milk everywhere. Not at all nice, but the smell is even worse!! Went on the Internet and spoke to a few people and we did wonder for a time whether Jamie had a milk intolerance. We started him back on semi skimmed milk, but a few days later and he is back to normal.

How are we getting on?

Seems I have not blogged on Jamie's development lately. Its not that there has not been any, its just we have been so busy - which I find is a good thing for all of us!!

He is certainly recognising words and phrases and I understand a lot of what he says - even though other people might not! When he is hungry he does a 'yum, yum' face and at baby signing he has started to follow a number of the signs.

We still continue to attend baby signing and there are a few other children who are about Jamie's age and he has become 'sociable' now. On a Friday we have started to attend a playgroup with the twins, with some of the girlies from Bingo and their children, and again this has brought him out of himself a bit more. Although he does seem to like to play on his own as well....

We have started back at Drama Bugs now it has moved nearer to us. My only reservation with this is one of the other children who seems to have a tantrum every time, while his mother just sits texting on her mobile phone.

I am aware more now of the effect of everything we do on Jamie; from him copying what we are doing and possibly saying (Lucy currently says 'Tampon') as well as the effect the TV has on him. He seems hypnotised by the box at the moment and we have tried to limit his watching and the programs he is allowed to watch - CBeebies and a bit of Peppa Pig. We have had a few minor tantrums when we have turned off the TV but so far they have only been minor. I bought him a T shirt last week with the Chuggington trains on the front and he keeps picking it up and walking round with it as he recognises it. Its amazing to watch as he learns and moves forward with his understanding. We were given a game which consists of a number of circles with cut outs in them - colour coordinated - of various animals and have been asking Jamie to pair them up. He loves playing this game and I am so proud!

Another game he likes playing at the moment however, is the opening and shutting of the door. He can now reach up and open the back door himself and loves to stand there opening, shutting and opening again the door. Of course I have to stand over him and make sure he doesn't trap his fingers in the door. So far no tears...

And we have managed to get through the whole of the summer without incident around the pond; although it has meant having to watch any children in the garden like a hawk in case they go near it. I mentioned this a few weeks ago when I was out, and a friend of a friend said her in-laws had a pond cover. The twins mum very kindly took out all the seats in her (large) car and we went and picked it up. That should make the pond a lot safer when we return to the garden. Its a bit wet at the moment....

Jamie still loves reading and the books we borrowed from the library have been read a lot. We have already been back to get some more and renew the ones we have got! They have started a Storytelling session at the library every other Tuesday but we have yet to attend - not sure if Jamie would be a distraction or not!!

Capricorn - 24th September 2010

You're unusually restless now, yearning to leave familiar surroundings for greener pastures. Instead of leaving your job or dumping your lover, take a challenging class instead. Learning a new language or mastering a musical instrument will provide you with the intellectual stimulation you crave. You've been blessed with a great brain. Exercising it on a regular basis will stave off your anxiety. There's a difference between studying something because you have to and researching something that genuinely interests you.

Russell Grant
http://www.asdamagazine.com/horoscopes/

Blog Baby 17

Congratulations to Lisa and Neil. Callum Aidan born 04:16 on the 18th September. 5 weeks premature but healthy, weighing 5lbs 4oz. Welcome to the club!

Thank God for the Yummy Mummies...

Following my Decade of Doom chat I had a bit of a melt down this weekend and nearly backed out of the Yummy Mummy night I had organised. So many things seemed to upset me and even The Bull says I am "oversensitive' since having Jamie. Sometimes I just feel the need for a bit of a shout and then a good cry!!

I am so glad I made the effort. Not just because we had our Single White Female to provide classic entertainment, but because it gave me a chance to have a good chat with the other mummies and realise its all normal and there is always someone having a worse day than you!!

Must make sure I get another evening organised very soon and try and make time in every week for some kind of girlie chat.

A Case for Chaos...

Further to my post http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.com/2010/07/pram-in-hallway.html I have just read an article in the Guardian where Frank Cottrell Boyce makes the case for chaos www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/aug/01/art-children-pram-hallway

There's a belief that to do great work you need tranquility and control, that the pram is cluttering up the hallway; life needs to be neat and tidy. This isn't the case. Tranquility and control provide the best conditions for completing the work you imagined. But surely the real trick is to produce the work that you never imagined. The great creative moments in our history are almost all stories of distraction and daydreaming – Archimedes in the bath, Einstein dreaming of riding a sunbeam – of alert minds open to the grace of chaos.

He goes onto say: Why does it retain its power to chill? I don't think it's about fear of distraction or domesticity. I think it's a fear of babies. Being a parent – or really loving someone other than yourself, whether that's your children, parents or your lover – forces you to confront a horrible truth: the fact that we get older. The amazing boy who was born when I was still a student is a man now. There is no way that I can still think of myself as "quite young, really" or "a child at heart". Parenthood confronts us with our own mortality, every day.

I remember reading that when the writer Tracey Chevalier had her first baby, someone told her that "every baby costs one book"; she said something to the effect that that seemed fair enough. But we should turn Connolly's equation upside-down and say that maybe what's in the pram – breathing, vulnerable life, hope, a present responsibility – is actually more important than good art. It might make us produce less art, but maybe it would be art with the future at its heart.

This is also discussed on British Mummy Bloggers http://britishmummybloggers.ning.com/forum/topics/does-having-children-hinder?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Decade of Doom

Went for the results of my NHS Health Check this week. Once you enter the 'Decade of Doom' as Sophie's dad calls it, you are now invited for a check up. This consists of a series of blood tests to check your heart, kidneys, risk of stroke, diabetes etc. They also look at your weight and exercise levels. It seems I have high cholesterol and my blood pressure was slightly raised. This means all my talk of healthy eating and exercise needs to start NOW! We have given ourselves a cut off of Christmas for getting pregnant. So for the next 3 months I (we) are going to try our best to be healthy. We need to do it for Jamie's future as well as our own (and any tiny baby that might come along!) This weekend I have arranged a 'Yummy Mummy' night and am driving, so we shall see how that goes!!

First trip to the Library

I took Jamie for his first proper trip to the library yesterday. He has now got his own borrowing card. I usually just wheel him in, in the pushchair and wheel him out, when I drop off my books, but today I asked about a card for him. We went into the children's section and I let him walk about by himself while I had a look at the books. This was ok to start with as Jamie and me were the only ones there, but then a mother and her son (aged 4ish) came and she started to read a book with him in the corner. Jamie was only being helpful; he kept taking over a book for them. Perhaps he was socialising. He has certainly begun to interact more with other children and adults lately and has begun to be so much more aware of things around him.

We now enjoy a nice stroll in the garden most days. Thankfully the weather is still nice enough for us to spend time outside. Jamie loves looking at all the plants that grow. At the end of the garden; around one of the benches, there are a number of dead plants and we always spend a happy few minutes intrigued at the touch and feel of the spikyness. Now that Jamie is a competent walker - although still a bit of a drunkard - it is also keeping mummy fit as she runs around the garden after him!

I picked out 4 books for Jamie before it got too chaotic and have already read a couple with him. He loves sitting on the sofa in his room while I read to him. He does get a bit impatient sometimes and asks for another book before I have finished - by pointing at the bookshelves - but I am firm and make sure I finish the first before starting on the next!

My Son is a Bully!

Went to see the twins yesterday. This was the first time we had seen them in a few weeks and it was the first time all 3 children were walking. It was also the first time they were all really 'playing' with all the toys the twins have. Unfortunately, Jamie does not seem to like sharing and there was a bit of pushing and not exactly snatching; but he did seem to always want what Luke had. He wasn't like it all the time we were there, and by the time we left they were all playing nicely, but it was still a worry. Michelle suggested that Jamie was just exerting his presence as it wasn't his house. This would tie in with Noah's similar behaviour when he first started coming to us on a Monday. Unfortunately the twins are off on their hols this week so we won't see them for a while - that's if we are allowed back!!

A recent post from Bounty www.bounty.com/toddler/parenting/helping-your-child-make-friends?WT.mc_id=50002 helped alleviate some of my worries:

Having friends will not only give your child better self-esteem, but also teach them key social skills such as how to be kind, how to share and how to resolve conflicts.

Building friendships
The easiest way to help your child with their friendships is to schedule play-dates with other mothers who have children the same age as yours, or the mum of a child your child has taken a shine to. If you don’t know other mothers, potential play-dates can always be found in the park, at the library and at toddler groups. Watch who your child plays with and make friends with their mum.

When hosting a play-date the trick is to keep it simple:
· More than two children at the same time, is usually too many for you and your child to handle.
· Plan the date around a good time, usually post nap and limit the date to two hours.
· Prepare your child for what’s going to happen in advance of the play-date.
· Talk to your child about the toys they would like to share on the play-date (put away any special ones if you fear an all-out war).

It may be tempting to step in, but try not to interfere. The idea is to get your child used to being with other children and start the process of playing together. However, don’t panic if this doesn’t happen right away as it’s often down to the stages of play that occur at different ages:
· Between 0 - 1 ½ years your child is likely to play alone.
· From 2 - 2 ½ your child will play side by side (parallel play) with another child.
· From 2 ½ - 3 your child will begin to interact with other children.
· Above 4 years your child will show a preference for friends and play happily with other children.

What to do about sharing, discipline, fighting
Sharing is very difficult for small children to grasp and as a result it won’t really sink in until your child is about 2 ½ to 3 years old. Up until then help them out by showing them sharing can be fun. Give them things to share on a play-date such as stickers, or get the kids to share tasks together or give them puzzles where they have to take turns.

The one area to act quickly on is physical squabbles and fights. A simple explanation that pushing / biting / hitting is not acceptable is enough, and then divert both children’s attention with an activity or snack.

Some shy or anxious children can find play-dates excruciating and may cling to your side and refuse to play at all. If this happens, don’t give up. The more play-dates you arrange, the more comfortable your child will become. Help build their confidence by introducing activities that keep you close (colouring, puzzles etc) but still allow them to play independently.

Keep building social skills
Outside of a play-date keep practicing social skills. The relationship they have at home with you will be a template for many of their future friendships.
· When playing together practice sharing and taking turns with toys, books and games.
· Talk about empathy, kindness and other people’s feelings especially when your child gets upset or he upsets another child.
· Help him to practice listening skills and understanding what someone else wants and acting on it.
· Finally, help your child to cope with rejection. This can be the toughest thing for you to deal with, as no parent likes to see his or her child brushed off. What’s important is to support them. Just being there to comfort them will help boost their self-esteem, and help them to build the inner resources they need to cope with the ups and downs of having friends.

Toddlers and Television

In my last post I mentioned that Jamie has become quite aware now of the Television; loving 'In the Night Garden' and some of the other shows on CBeebies www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/ It is a great temptation to just sit him in front of the TV and leave him; while I go off and do something else, but I am aware that that is not a good thing for Jamie. I have started to limit TV to a couple of Night Gardens a day and perhaps half an hour more of something else if he (or mummy) needs a quiet time!!

I must say however, that in the last week or so Jamie has been going to bed without much trouble at all. We have been watching the Bedtime Hour on CBeedies; while he has his bedtime milk. He then goes off to his cot without much fuss at all (touch wood this will continue!).

Tips regarding TV use (from www.bounty.com/toddler/2-years/toddlers-and-television?WT.mc_id=50002) :

* Be in charge of what they watch right from the start. Watch TV with them so you can talk about the programme together, then switch it off.
* Choose programmes made for their age group, those with lots of activity for them to copy and the repetition that they love at this age.
* Don’t let them watch more than an hour a day.
* Don’t get into the habit of using the TV as a ‘babysitter’ while you catch up on the housework or make a phone call.

* Despite the worry about the pester-power effect of ads on impressionable youngsters, under-sevens don’t really recall the specific brands they see in TV commercials. But they do ask for more toys than children who don’t watch much commercial television. So if you’d prefer your toddler’s first words not to be ‘I want’ then stick with CBeebies, or record other channel’s programmes so that they can watch at a time that suits you, and fast forward through the ads.

One of the responses from a mum I thought was worth while highlighting and that was:
Every moment our kids spend watching a favorite program is a moment they don’t spend reading a book, or socializing with friends, or exercising outside. It’s a moment they don’t spend practicing an instrument or drawing a picture. To much TV can lead to them growing up to fast, behaviour problems, only wanting what they see on tv i.e food, toys etc.

So, I must endeavour (while still at home full time) to ensure that Jamie's days are full and varied and TV only makes up a small percentage of the day!

Time flys by....

So many people said; 'Appreciate Jamie. Time goes so quick. He won't be a baby very long' when he was born, and it was easy to ignore them. But them BAMM! He's almost grown up!! I can't believe just how many changes have happened in the last week or two. I miss my blog for a few days due to sickness etc. and when I return there seems to be loads to report. Just this morning I commented how I thought Jamie had grown in the night - this happens quite a lot actually - and then he was running round the house (yes, walking has been mastered!) and shouting like a little boy. Its gonna be madness when we can actually understand what he is saying!! And I don't see that being too long as his level of understanding is amazing (I think) and he is certainly coming on leaps and bounds with his words. At the moment anything beginning with B or D is getting a good try and his favourite word at the moment seems to be Nanana - as he loves Bananas. When we go walking or when he sees one on the TV, Jamie delights in shouting 'Doggie' and of course when he gets hold of the TV controller he asks for 'Nnnight' (Garden)!! We continue to tell him what things are and just this week we have started to do Sssssssake with him which he thinks is brilliant and has begun to try to imitate the ssssssss sound himself.

He was sat on the bed with us the other night and we were thinking back to when he used to sit between our legs to have his bottle. Now his legs are up to our chins and he sits and feeds himself. All of a sudden he is on ‘proper’ food – tins of spaghetti shapes, potatoes, vegetables as well as eating whatever we have on our plates - sarnies, chips, pasta, salmon etc. and he has been drinking his juice out of a free flow / no spill cup for weeks now! (Saying that I have had to purchase another bottle for his night-time milk as the old one cracked in the microwave and he refuses to drink his milk in anything else!) Saturday afternoon we went to celebrate Auntie Judith and Uncle Ians 40th Wedding Anniversary and we all shared a plate of the (very nice) buffet; with Jamie just taking off what he wanted.

Jamie's awareness of things around him; other children, people, animals, TV etc. continues to grow, although he still does not appreciate the pain he can cause by biting or pinching, and he still finds it funny! Babysigning has therefore gone to another level as he is almost 'playing' with the children his age. None of them seem to appreciate the idea of sharing just yet but at least the mummies are trying to emphasise this!

My friend Karen and her hubby came for tea a few weeks back as we could not get a babysitter. She is a Paediatric Nurse and so I was a bit worried what she might say.....but she seemed to think we were doing everything correct – except for letting him fall asleep on us instead of in his cot. When they came, we said to come about 7.30 so that Jamie would be in bed, but unfortunately he was still awake so we made the fatal mistake of getting him up. He was in his element – smiling and giggling and generally being a show off. He ended up sitting with us all while we had our Chinese and helping with the prawn crackers. Then he started dozing off and so daddy took him into his room, but he was so stimulated that he would not go to sleep. Karen suggested just leaving him to cry for 10mins; which we did, and amazing he feel asleep not long after. I know we are supposed to put him down awake rather than asleep but we like our nightly cuddle and I suppose it is easier for us all; especially as they show 'In the Night Garden' as part of the bedtime hour on CBeebies. Must try harder.....

Glad thats over...

Yesterday I had my first real interview in about 10 years. The last 'real' interview I had was when I worked at the Police HQ. After I left there, the two jobs I had started as temp jobs and the interviews were more like chats. Yesterday certainly felt more than a chat; especially as I had an 'exercise' to complete before the actual interview. But I think I did better than I had expected. I gave myself a 7 out of 10 and now I am trying not to think about it and move on to the next application - which I have just emailed off....

It has been 8 weeks since I left the Library Service and I think I do miss the routine of having a job to go to. Of course the money is another factor that we are missing, but I do believe that the more you do, the more you get done and I feel the last 8 weeks have been a bit flat....

Not that I don't like being at home with Jamie, but I feel he gets a bit fed up with me all the time. Saying that, we are lucky that I have been not working while the schools are closed over the summer, so we have been able to do a lot of things with other children - both older than Jamie and also ones who have teachers for parents and who we don't see that much of!! And of course we have been lucky that Daddy had 2 weeks off with us during those 8 weeks.

In the last 8 weeks we have been swimming with Ella and Emily - which Jamie loved. It was the first time Jamie wore arm bands and to start with he kept taking them off but I think when he saw Ella had hers on, he didn't seem to mind so much. And he didn't mind the girls splashing him - in fact, he laughed so much it was a joy to see!! It was also great that when he got water in his mouth he didn't seem to be too upset about it. He didn't cry. He just spluttered a bit and then carried on. We had a lovely time and I hope to go next week with them before the girls go back to school. We were also supposed to go swimming with Sophie and her mum but that had to be cancelled as Nanna was ill.

I have taken Jamie to DramaBugs as well as Baby Signing - although these both cost money. It is nice to see other children on a 'Play Date' instead. We had hoped to go to the Sure Start Center last week (as the sessions are free) and meet Oliver and Megan, but Jamie decided to go for his nap just before we were due to meet!!

And of course we now have Noah all day on a Monday, as his Grandad has had an operation on his foot and isn't able to look after him in a morning at the moment. Nanna has been helping though so it hasn't been too difficult. Jamie and Noah do seem to enjoy playing together and the 5 months age difference seems to get less noticeable every time they meet. Noah is just about walking now!!

So, fingers crossed for the next week or so as we wait for the outcome from my interview but time to organise a few more play dates for Jamie...

Been a bit sickly....

Where has August gone already? I have a spare 5 minutes while Jamie is (hopefully) having a long nap. Unfortunately, I have been neglecting my blog. Chiefly this is because both me and Jamie got a terrible cough /cold, and then I had just about recovered and I decided it would be a good idea to eat something with mould on!! I remember thinking; 'It will be alright' but unfortunately it wasn't!! Today and yesterday I have been trying to get to grips with all the jobs that I have neglected and are now screaming to be done. And then there is the small matter of an interview to prepare for on Thursday....

Normal Service will be Resumed Shortly (I promise!)....

Packets of Seeds

‘We should think of our children as being like unmarked packets of seeds. It is not for us to decide what plant the seeds will become but simply to do everything we can to help the seeds grow into the plant that they are naturally meant to be.’

Rebecca Abrams (Journalist and Writer).
Quoted in: Family Life Made Easy by Grace Saunders, Arrow Books (2009)

My Son is a Genius - Part 2

He can now feed himself with a spoon!

Its gonna get very messy.......

Two Ends Of The Spectrum

Unfortunately my mum (Nanna) has been unwell over the last week or so. After completing the Midnight Walk I felt exhausted all week - not to mention my hips - but I think it unsettled my mum a bit. She says her feeling ill had nothing to do with the walk, but I think 6 miles is bad enough for anyone but it cant be great for your body doing it at such an ungodly hour!! That having been said I did raise £123 for St Barnabas and of that I am very proud!

Anyway, after the walk on the Saturday night, we then did a sponsored walk for B.A.B.I.E.S on the Monday with the rest of the BabySigning group. This was little more than a mile around Whisby Lakes but it was very hot. Half way round even I felt a little ill.... On the Wednesday mum rang and asked if I would take her to the Drs as she did not feel well enough to drive. She saw a locum who asked for a sample which said mum had an infection, and suggested it was gastroenteritis so gave her antibiotics. We spent over an hour at the surgery accompanied by Jamie as Daddy was working, which was stressful in itself. However, the next day mum felt no better - and she still had a headache - and so I took her again to the Drs. This time the Dr suggested it was Vertigo and sent her for an X Ray on her neck. So Monday morning we were at the hospital for just before 8.30am!!

What this has meant in terms of Jamie is that Nanna missed her afternoon looking after him last week and I therefore missed an afternoon catching up!! Daddy is off this week and we had planned to go out and Nanna was going to have Jamie overnight. This has now been put on hold for this week at least.

What this has highlighted is the fact that we left it so late to have Jamie means that I may end up having to look after both Jamie and Nanna. Auntie Battleaxe always said to me when I said I didn't want children; "Who is going to look after you in your old age?" I always replied I was not going to have children just so someone could look after me. I do hope this isn't the start of my looking after the two ends of the spectrum - the young and the old!!

My Son is a Genius!

It all happens so quick. I turn away from my blog for a couple of days and suddenly I think there is loads that I should have made a note of! We now have a Walking, Talking little man living with us!

Jamie is now walking pretty much on his own - although he still has to be reminded to 'stand up' as he seems to still be a quicker crawler... We went to see Nanna on Sunday and it had been too long since we had last seen her in May. I think she thought it was a different child. He walked holding hers and daddy's hands, sat like a proper little boy on the sofa and even played with her bag of toys quite happily. Of course we still had to change his nappy when we went out for a cuppa, but at least no one else was in the cafe at the time!

And his talking and understanding is amazing. Last week I was chatting away to him as I tidied up his room and said; "We've lost the little pussycat. Where's the pussycat gone Jamie" and off he crawled to the other side of the room and picked up the pussycat from his LittlePeople set. It wasn't the pussycat I was looking for, but it was a pussycat! When daddy got home he did it again and also found the doggy, and he has been doing it to entertain anyone who visits ever since!!

At BabySigning last Thursday we sang Twinkle, Twinkle and Bubbles, Bubbles as we do most week. As we watched the bubbles come out of the bubble machine Jamie suddenly said 'Bubbles'. It wasn't just me who heard as some of the other parents commented. I was so proud! Other words he is saying now include; 'Ball', 'Dadda', 'Nanna' and 'Grandad' (just) and when he wants In The Night Garden he makes the 'N' sound. He is also loving his 'Books' and will point at his bookshelf for a story - usually 'All Aboard the Ninky Nonk'....

As for cousin Noah, we have renamed him ASBO Baby!!

The Pram in the Hallway

Jamie is out this afternoon with Nanna and since I am no longer employed I am trying to use the time productively. Today started with having to sort out all the Child Tax Credit stuff and then trying to make sense of all the paperwork I seem to have accumulated recently. It is hard not to spend precious time 'fire fighting' i.e. having to do things that need to be done or else i.e. paying bills, shopping, filling in Child Tax Credit forms, but I feel I have begun to focus more when time allows.

I recently watched Maggie O'Farrell on The Book Show (SkyArts) see: http://thebookshow.skyarts.co.uk/authors/463188/maggie_ofarrell.html

She gave me inspiration as she discussed the quote from Cyril Connolly "There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hall." Firstly, children deepen your connection with the world and cause you to feel emotion.

And secondly, however difficult it is to find the artistic impulse through the fog of motherhood, children are great editors. She highlights the danger of having too much time. With children you know you have a certain amount of time (usually while they are asleep) and so you must focus on writing in that time.

We Have Lift-Off!!

After hearing so many other mums saying 'so and so is walking' I am pleased to announce that Jamie has now joined them. He has been standing up from sitting unaided for a few weeks now and walking quite well with someone holding his hand, but Monday afternoon he walked across the front room from Daddy to Mummy - and what is more he did it in front of Nanna!

Chatter, Chatter, Chatter

We have been out and about a lot this week and coming back from BabySigning this morning you could not shut Jamie up for his chatter! Whether it was the singing got him all excited or meeting the other babies, or just the sun shining I don't know, but I thought I would look up how to help him with his talking:

Language development can vary widely from child to child, but here are some of the key stages:
By one year, you toddler will understand what you’re saying and may have a couple of words to say himself.
By 15 months he’ll have up to 10 words and will understand a simple command like ‘Get the ball’.
By 18 months he’ll know the names of the most important people in his life and will be able to follow more complex commands, ‘Pick up the ball and give it to daddy’.
By 24 months he’ll have up to 100 words in his vocabulary and will be able to form simple sentences, ‘Get ball’, ‘Mummy come’, and say ‘no’ and ‘mine’ a lot.
By three years, he’ll have about 300 words and will be able to have a conversation of a few sentences and use adjectives and prepositions (‘up, on, in, under’ etc.)

How to encourage the Chatter:
Keep talking. Your toddler may not say much yet, but he understands what you’re saying. Talking starts with listening, so the more you talk to him, the faster he’ll learn to talk himself. Talk about what you’re doing all the time, and state the obvious, for example, ‘We’re going up to have a bath now, then get you into your pyjamas and ready for a story. We could read the lovely book grandma bought you. Look, here it is on the blue bookshelf’. Name everything in your toddler's world verbally; so if you are bathing him name the duck, taps, water, bubbles, wet toes, wet fingers, wet nose… and so on.

Words and music. Read to your tot every day to get him used to books and the words on the pages. Reading to your baby at a young age helps them to hear and understand the inclinations and emotions of speech. It can also help with labelling things, so you can point to a picture and say the word, ‘Fire Engine’ to help them recognise what objects are called. If you are telling a story use different voices for each character and even different accents if you can manage. Little kids love singing and don’t care if you’re tone deaf, so play nursery rhyme tapes and sing along with them together – they’re a brilliant way of getting kids to learn and remember words. ‘Head, shoulders, knees and toes’ or the ‘Hokey Cokey’ are good for toddlers to learn which body part is which. Make sure they can see you, or other toddlers and parents pointing too, so he can see who is pointing at what.

Speak directly to your child and listen to him attentively without trying to finish off his sentences for him. Even if you don’t understand exactly what he’s saying, the chances are his body language or facial expressions will give the game away, so talk to him as if you do, ‘Have you had enough of the bricks? Do you want to play with the trains instead?’.

Listen to what your baby is saying. When you ask your baby a question, wait to see what his response is; it might be a smile or just a look towards a toy, but it is a response. Try to answer his babbles as if you were having a proper conversation, so say, ‘really, how interesting, what a lovely day you’ve had’ to him. If your baby is trying to tell you something, help him by pointing to what it might be, for instance, 'do you want milk? Your book? Your shoes?' And wait for him to respond to what you are pointing at.

http://www.gurgle.com/articles/Guide_To_Toddler/22964/Helping_your_toddler_talk.aspx

"I said NO"

Am busy, busy, busy at the moment and I think this has caused me to get a bit short with Jamie on occasion - that and PMT! He is just into everything at the moment (not at this precise moment as he is having a nap!) and that means climbing onto everything; including the dining room table, the piano and anything else he can maneuver onto!

Have therefore been having to say "No" a lot and try to keep calm. I have shouted at him a couple of times and have felt so guilty afterwards that I thought I had better look up some ideas....

Assessing your baby's frame of mind is the first step to implementing discipline. No one understands an infant better than the parents. Does your baby tend to lose control when hungry, tired, or off their normal routine? Many flare ups can be reduced or eliminated by making sure you have met your child's basic needs.

You should also take time to assess how your baby's actions affect you. Parents often feel pressure to be perfect all the time. The reality is that parenting is the hardest thing any of us will ever do. It is also the most rewarding. There will be times when even the sweetest baby will cause a parent to become frustrated. Think about how to deal with these frustrations before they actually occur.

Practice basic calming techniques for yourself. Take several deep breaths. Remember to put the situation in perspective, you can handle this little guy. Remember that the baby is acting naturally. It is your job as a parent to guide and teach them so they can learn. Avoid yelling and screaming, since this can teach your child that it is all right to lose control if you don't get your way. Always be aware of your state of mind. Stop yourself before you become too frustrated and take a moment to calm down. If it gets to be too much, consider calling your partner or a family member to vent a little. Associate with other parents. No one understands better than them. Carve out time during the day to rejuvenate yourself with a hot bath, some quite time alone, or by being with friends.

Establish a routine for your baby. Try to stay on a schedule each day. Infants and toddlers feel secure when they have a structured environment. Knowing what is coming next makes them comfortable in their environment. Don't be too rigid with your baby's routine. You do not need to make sure your child plays the exact same way everyday at 11 a.m. Just provide a consistent time for play, for meals, and also a consistent sleep schedule.

Provide a safe environment for your baby. Discipline often begins by creating an environment that gives the child the best opportunity to succeed. Babies are curious and they want to explore. This should make you proud. Be encouraged, it is a sign of growing intelligence. However, you also need to understand that the baby cannot differentiate between a sparkling crystal vase and a toy block. In the baby's mind, both need to be touched and explored. Remove the infant's access to any potentially dangerous or valuable items. Use baby gates, childproof devices, and most importantly - common sense.

Use the discipline technique of redirection and distraction. As a baby gets older (and wiser) they will be better prepared to understand what is and is not appropriate. However in the early stages, they may just not get it. If your child is determined to grab your metal fork at the table, distract them by handing them a toy or other safe item - maybe their own soft utensil. If the baby is determined to climb up the bookshelf, go to the child and show them a ball or other favourite toy. Divert the baby's attention to a safe activity. This will prevent a melt down. In the process your baby will gradually learn that item A is not for play, but item B is for play.

Ignoring a baby's behaviour can sometimes be an effective form of discipline. Babies and toddlers learn that any attention can be good. Nothing gets Mommy or Daddy to come quicker than acting up. It will take time and insight to learn when to ignore a certain behaviour. Never ignore behaviour that is dangerous or harmful. However, if the baby is just throwing a common tantrum, you should not reinforce the action by providing the attention the child seeks.

Be a good example to your baby. If you react to frustrating situations by yelling, stomping, or in a dramatic manner - your baby will learn to respond in the same way. If you remain calm and cool, your child will learn this is the proper way to behave. If your baby bites, don't discipline them by biting back. Always think about what the child will learn from your example. Children do not need to feel pain to learn discipline.

Positive reinforcement is a hallmark of good discipline. Make sure you provide praise more often than "No". Work hard to catch your baby being good. Studies have shown that children who have a higher ratio of positive to negative feedback do better in their development. Babies naturally want to please. Put them in a position to succeed and be sure to let them know when they have. This will lead to more good behaviour.

When the time comes to discipline your baby for doing something unsafe or improper, make sure you do it properly. Use a sharp and firm voice. Be consistent in the terms you use, e.g. "No" or "Hot" or "Down". If they are reaching for something dangerous, hold their hand as well. Try not to be over dramatic as this can desensitize the child to your commands. Use eye contact to communicate with your baby. Infants learn to read facial expressions before any other form of communication. When disciplining your baby, combine your voice with a firm look. There is no need to be mean or scary, just be sure they understand you are serious.

Hug your baby after the moment of discipline has passed. Your baby will learn that while you don't like the specific behaviour, you do love them.
http://www.ehow.com/how_5069130_properly-discipline-baby.html

From one year to two-and-a-half
Your toddler has his bricks all over the floor and you want the room tidy. If you tell him to pick them up, he will probably refuse. If you insist, a fight will be on and you cannot win it. You can yell at him, punish him, reduce him to a jelly of misery but none of that will get those bricks off the floor. But if you say, "I bet you can't put those bricks in their bag before I've picked up all these books", you turn a chore into a game, an order into a challenge. Now he wants to do what you want him to do, so he does. He did not pick up (most of) the bricks "for Mummy"; he did not do it because he is a "good boy". He did it because you made him want to. And that is the best possible way to go. Conduct your toddler through his daily life by foreseeing the rocks and steering around them, avoiding absolute orders that will be absolutely refused, leading and guiding him into behaving as you want him to behave because nothing has made him want to behave otherwise. The payoff now is fun instead of strife for you all but the later payoff is seriously important, too. This toddler, who does not know right from wrong and therefore cannot choose to behave well or badly, is growing up. Soon the time will come when he does remember your instructions and foresee the results of his actions; does understand the subtleties of everyday language; does recognise your feelings and your rights. When that time comes, your child will be able to be "good" or "naughty" on purpose. Which he chooses will depend largely on how he feels about the adults who are special to him and have power over him. If he reaches that next stage of growing up feeling that you are basically loving, approving and on his side, he will want (most of the time) to please you so (with many lapses) he will behave as you wish. But if he reaches that stage feeling that you are overpowering, incomprehensible and against him, he may already have decided not to bother trying to please you because you are never pleased; not to let himself mind when you are cross because you are cross so often; not to expose the depth of his loving feelings for you because you have not always seemed to reciprocate. If you ever wonder whether you are being too gentle and accepting with your toddler, or anyone ever suggests that it is time to toughen up, look ahead. If your child reaches preschool age no longer seeking your approval, not feeling cooperative, not confident of loving and being loved, you will have lost the basis for easy, effective "discipline" all through childhood. At this in-between toddler stage, a happy child is an easy child. A child kept easy now will be easy to handle later.
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/toddler/penelopeleach/disciplinecooperation/

"Is he walking yet?"

I am sick of people asking this question? Battleaxe Auntie said to my mother who said to me; "Shouldn't he be walking by now?" and it seems to be the first question people ask when they have not seen me or Jamie for a while. And of course there are the competitive mothers / grandmothers. I am thinking of the Granny at Babysigning on Thursday who said "She's only a year" after asking how old Jamie was, while her granddaughter was walking past him on the floor. She did say that she was a younger sibling and I know that many younger siblings progress at a fast pace as they have someone to copy (So there!)

Last week he walked while only holding one hand of Daddies and then at the weekend he stood up from sitting all by himself so its only a matter of days now.

He has been 'cruising' for months now and we actually thought he would be walking by his birthday as he was so quick to crawl and then to cruise. He is just so good at crawling its probably been easier - and quicker - for him to crawl than to put all that effort in standing up and walking.

And anyway, if you look on the Internet it says there is no need to worry unless they get to 18months without walking:

Over the course of his first year your baby will gradually gain coordination and muscle strength throughout his body, learning to sit, roll over and crawl before moving on to pulling up and standing at about eight months. From then on it's a matter of gaining confidence and balance. Most babies take their first steps sometime between nine and 12 months and are walking well by the time they're 14 or 15 months old. Don't worry if your child takes a little longer, though; many perfectly normal children don't walk until their 16th or 17th month.
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/development/walking/

How to Help:
When holding your child while trying to make him walk, don't hold his legs or hands. Hold him by the torso. You can encourage your baby to walk by standing or kneeling in front of him and holding out your hands, by holding both his hands and walking him towards you, or by buying a toddle truck or a similar contraption he can hold onto and push (look for toddle toys that are stable and have a wide base of support). Because baby walkers make it too easy to get around and thus can prevent a child's upper leg muscles from developing correctly, some experts strongly discourage using them. You can also hold off on introducing shoes until your baby is walking around outside or on rough or cold surfaces regularly; going barefoot helps him improve his balance and coordination.

Jamie has a trolley (with bricks) he likes to push about and he also has a car which he can push along. Now that we are having such nice weather we have been able to go in the garden a lot and let him walk up and down the garden with his toys.

We shall see what the next few days bring....