Am busy, busy, busy at the moment and I think this has caused me to get a bit short with Jamie on occasion - that and PMT! He is just into everything at the moment (not at this precise moment as he is having a nap!) and that means climbing onto everything; including the dining room table, the piano and anything else he can maneuver onto!
Have therefore been having to say "No" a lot and try to keep calm. I have shouted at him a couple of times and have felt so guilty afterwards that I thought I had better look up some ideas....
Assessing your baby's frame of mind is the first step to implementing discipline. No one understands an infant better than the parents. Does your baby tend to lose control when hungry, tired, or off their normal routine? Many flare ups can be reduced or eliminated by making sure you have met your child's basic needs.
You should also take time to assess how your baby's actions affect you. Parents often feel pressure to be perfect all the time. The reality is that parenting is the hardest thing any of us will ever do. It is also the most rewarding. There will be times when even the sweetest baby will cause a parent to become frustrated. Think about how to deal with these frustrations before they actually occur.
Practice basic calming techniques for yourself. Take several deep breaths. Remember to put the situation in perspective, you can handle this little guy. Remember that the baby is acting naturally. It is your job as a parent to guide and teach them so they can learn. Avoid yelling and screaming, since this can teach your child that it is all right to lose control if you don't get your way. Always be aware of your state of mind. Stop yourself before you become too frustrated and take a moment to calm down. If it gets to be too much, consider calling your partner or a family member to vent a little. Associate with other parents. No one understands better than them. Carve out time during the day to rejuvenate yourself with a hot bath, some quite time alone, or by being with friends.
Establish a routine for your baby. Try to stay on a schedule each day. Infants and toddlers feel secure when they have a structured environment. Knowing what is coming next makes them comfortable in their environment. Don't be too rigid with your baby's routine. You do not need to make sure your child plays the exact same way everyday at 11 a.m. Just provide a consistent time for play, for meals, and also a consistent sleep schedule.
Provide a safe environment for your baby. Discipline often begins by creating an environment that gives the child the best opportunity to succeed. Babies are curious and they want to explore. This should make you proud. Be encouraged, it is a sign of growing intelligence. However, you also need to understand that the baby cannot differentiate between a sparkling crystal vase and a toy block. In the baby's mind, both need to be touched and explored. Remove the infant's access to any potentially dangerous or valuable items. Use baby gates, childproof devices, and most importantly - common sense.
Use the discipline technique of redirection and distraction. As a baby gets older (and wiser) they will be better prepared to understand what is and is not appropriate. However in the early stages, they may just not get it. If your child is determined to grab your metal fork at the table, distract them by handing them a toy or other safe item - maybe their own soft utensil. If the baby is determined to climb up the bookshelf, go to the child and show them a ball or other favourite toy. Divert the baby's attention to a safe activity. This will prevent a melt down. In the process your baby will gradually learn that item A is not for play, but item B is for play.
Ignoring a baby's behaviour can sometimes be an effective form of discipline. Babies and toddlers learn that any attention can be good. Nothing gets Mommy or Daddy to come quicker than acting up. It will take time and insight to learn when to ignore a certain behaviour. Never ignore behaviour that is dangerous or harmful. However, if the baby is just throwing a common tantrum, you should not reinforce the action by providing the attention the child seeks.
Be a good example to your baby. If you react to frustrating situations by yelling, stomping, or in a dramatic manner - your baby will learn to respond in the same way. If you remain calm and cool, your child will learn this is the proper way to behave. If your baby bites, don't discipline them by biting back. Always think about what the child will learn from your example. Children do not need to feel pain to learn discipline.
Positive reinforcement is a hallmark of good discipline. Make sure you provide praise more often than "No". Work hard to catch your baby being good. Studies have shown that children who have a higher ratio of positive to negative feedback do better in their development. Babies naturally want to please. Put them in a position to succeed and be sure to let them know when they have. This will lead to more good behaviour.
When the time comes to discipline your baby for doing something unsafe or improper, make sure you do it properly. Use a sharp and firm voice. Be consistent in the terms you use, e.g. "No" or "Hot" or "Down". If they are reaching for something dangerous, hold their hand as well. Try not to be over dramatic as this can desensitize the child to your commands. Use eye contact to communicate with your baby. Infants learn to read facial expressions before any other form of communication. When disciplining your baby, combine your voice with a firm look. There is no need to be mean or scary, just be sure they understand you are serious.
Hug your baby after the moment of discipline has passed. Your baby will learn that while you don't like the specific behaviour, you do love them.
http://www.ehow.com/how_5069130_properly-discipline-baby.html
From one year to two-and-a-half
Your toddler has his bricks all over the floor and you want the room tidy. If you tell him to pick them up, he will probably refuse. If you insist, a fight will be on and you cannot win it. You can yell at him, punish him, reduce him to a jelly of misery but none of that will get those bricks off the floor. But if you say, "I bet you can't put those bricks in their bag before I've picked up all these books", you turn a chore into a game, an order into a challenge. Now he wants to do what you want him to do, so he does. He did not pick up (most of) the bricks "for Mummy"; he did not do it because he is a "good boy". He did it because you made him want to. And that is the best possible way to go. Conduct your toddler through his daily life by foreseeing the rocks and steering around them, avoiding absolute orders that will be absolutely refused, leading and guiding him into behaving as you want him to behave because nothing has made him want to behave otherwise. The payoff now is fun instead of strife for you all but the later payoff is seriously important, too. This toddler, who does not know right from wrong and therefore cannot choose to behave well or badly, is growing up. Soon the time will come when he does remember your instructions and foresee the results of his actions; does understand the subtleties of everyday language; does recognise your feelings and your rights. When that time comes, your child will be able to be "good" or "naughty" on purpose. Which he chooses will depend largely on how he feels about the adults who are special to him and have power over him. If he reaches that next stage of growing up feeling that you are basically loving, approving and on his side, he will want (most of the time) to please you so (with many lapses) he will behave as you wish. But if he reaches that stage feeling that you are overpowering, incomprehensible and against him, he may already have decided not to bother trying to please you because you are never pleased; not to let himself mind when you are cross because you are cross so often; not to expose the depth of his loving feelings for you because you have not always seemed to reciprocate. If you ever wonder whether you are being too gentle and accepting with your toddler, or anyone ever suggests that it is time to toughen up, look ahead. If your child reaches preschool age no longer seeking your approval, not feeling cooperative, not confident of loving and being loved, you will have lost the basis for easy, effective "discipline" all through childhood. At this in-between toddler stage, a happy child is an easy child. A child kept easy now will be easy to handle later.
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/toddler/penelopeleach/disciplinecooperation/
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