9.30pm Only 2 days to go – fingers crossed. Asked for paracetamol about 30-45mins ago but still waiting so have pushed my buzzer. No one seems to be about and this is making me a bit panicky. Probably ruined another of The Bulls evenings out as he was supposed to meet Paul for a drink about 9pm but didn’t leave here until gone 9. Feeling rather fretful. Though not quite as panicky as the other night. Tears more than panic due to:
Tiredness, Going Stir Crazy, Frustration at Breast feeding earlier, Not feeling quite ready for this (as I keep saying we hadn’t read that chapter!).
Also today Jamie had to have another test for his jaundice (ok) and the heel prick test. (The Guthrie or heel prick test is done between six days and two weeks after birth by which time your baby will be well established on milk feeds. Blood from the heel is analysed for conditions like cystic fibrosis, hypothyroidism and phenylketonurea). I sat with him while the nurse/paediatrician took his bloods and felt at the time it was a good reason to faint if ever there was one but I didn’t. They did say we could go out for a walk if someone was here for Jamie. But somehow I don’t think that would really help me. I just need some quiet time. At least the 4 hourly feeds seem to have helped.
Paracetamol arrives approx 1 hour after first requesting it!
11.30pm and Jamie pulled out his tube and I didn’t notice. I set my alarm for 11.20pm and went to the loo and asked who was looking after me and whether I should have help trying to feed. Told not to wear him out and try at his next feed in 3 hours. I said ‘It’s 4 hours’. I felt no one really knew…feeling sorry for myself. Felt being given contradictory information. This afternoons midwife is different to this evenings and different information / attitude. I feel overwhelmed and confused!!
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