2nd April

7.15am Restless in night but I think I slept better than when I was on Nettleham Ward in my own room!! The girl next to me was monitored between 12 and 1am, and was then taken to the labour ward on a wheelchair. I heard them say she was 3-4cm dilated and when I asked, was told that she had had the baby by 7am!! Went to the loo and it was quite painful to go (poo) and there was a small amount of blood in my fluid – still leaking. Had the urge to go again almost straight away. Came back to bed and felt there was a pain under my scar. Thought it better to call the midwife – who came very quick this time (yesterday it seemed to take an age but that was probably due to my anxiety levels!) and she put me on the monitor to see what was happening. Panicked as monitor stopped recording heartbeat but it was just because baby had moved and could not be located. Temperature, blood pressure ok. No Contractions!

Went down to the day room on Nettleham Ward for my breakfast – cold coffee again!! And met someone from my old work. She is being kept in as she has high blood pressure and is due about the same time as me. She is however, expecting twins!

Trying to focus on what my baby is going to look like, but struggling to see a ‘normal’ baby. Keep looking at my pictures of Lucy on my phone to focus myself. Anxiety levels are rising and falling but I feel good that I didn’t need the sleeping tablet last night. Had a shower about 10ish once the Bull had arrived and felt better for it. Dr visited and said I might be able to go home tomorrow. What about today? Still leaking but says it is ok as long as it continues to be clear. After lunch however, kicked out of the ward for a deep clean.

The Bull left at 3pm as he needed time to sort himself and I needed some sleep. There was a different lady in the bed next to me but once again she went off to have her baby… Just before visiting in the evening I went to the toilet and there was a small clump of blood so I rang the buzzer. Once again I found myself hooked up to a monitor and was still there when my brother and his wife and then the Bull arrived. I was beginning to think no one was coming but it was nice to see them.

After my brother and his wife had gone I sat for a while with the Bulls hand on my belly feeling the baby’s movements. Then Wendy (Midwife) told me off for not taking the sleeping tablet last night. She took it back off me. Later she came back to check my blood pressure and had a chat which made me feel better. The Bull left at 10ish as he was going to try to go into work for a few hours tomorrow…. Sat and listened to the midwife going round the ward. Waters breaking early seems to be quite common….

I was ok until about midnight when I rang the buzzer as I felt constipated. I was put on the monitor and my blood pressure checked – which was ok, and given paracetamol.