8.30am I said to one of the midwives that I thought my belly had been moving yesterday. She thought it was probably my bowels starting to move again. At last!
Jamie is now one week old. Ten years ago this weekend The Bull and I had our engagement party. The sun was shining then but today it is miserable. I am not bothered as I am not going anywhere til Monday (fingers crossed).
Paediatrician just been and said it usually takes about a week for a 35week preterm baby to catch up! I think Jamie is doing better. He is keeping his feeds down (I am up to 40ml expressed), his colour is good (test ok yesterday) and he seems more lively (which may not be such a good thing as he keeps pulling his tube out). Had a lovely midwife this evening (Victoria). However, she did tell us off for getting Jamie cold and his temperature dropping following his feed. Mainly due to taking his clothes off to change him (again and again).
The Easter Bunny arrived after all. Nanna brought Jamie a big Easter Bunny. Hannah sent some chocs in a Winnie the Pooh bucket and Kerry came this evening bearing an Easter egg as well as goodies for Jamie. I must say we have had other visitors since we have been in, but my one recommendation to anyone going to have a baby in hospital is to limit them! Its nice to see everyone but they do tire you out and in our case have interrupted times when we should be trying to feed him. Having said that Nanna has been very good with regards to washing etc. and Auntie Hannah went shopping today on our behalf to get a breast pump for when we get home.
10pm Pre-Jamie we always said we wouldn’t ‘do the poo’ conversation but now it seems we are obsessed with the contents of Jamie’s nappy (and his temperature and his weight of course). But also, I have just been to the toilet ‘properly’ for the first time since before the birth - God it felt good! Today I was given my own box of paracetamol to medicate myself.
Sunday 12th April Jamie is sucking his fingers like mad but put him where he should be and it is no more than a kiss. ‘Keep trying but don’t wear him out’ they keep saying! Managed to feed Jamie (via tube) using 100% of the good (expressed) stuff!
9pm watching Lewis. Had a little cry earlier and feel a little fretful but trying to remain calm. Supposed to be going home tomorrow and looking at Jamie I suddenly got really scared; what if they don’t discharge us? What if they do? This deep breathing however, does seem to be working. A few tears seem to help as well. And a nice cup of tea! Midwife visited later in the night who I had not seen for a few days and she said she thought Jamie had ‘filled out’ and that I was looking better. That certainly makes me feel a lot better / calmer.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Friday, 24 April 2009
Friday 10th April
9.30pm Only 2 days to go – fingers crossed. Asked for paracetamol about 30-45mins ago but still waiting so have pushed my buzzer. No one seems to be about and this is making me a bit panicky. Probably ruined another of The Bulls evenings out as he was supposed to meet Paul for a drink about 9pm but didn’t leave here until gone 9. Feeling rather fretful. Though not quite as panicky as the other night. Tears more than panic due to:
Tiredness, Going Stir Crazy, Frustration at Breast feeding earlier, Not feeling quite ready for this (as I keep saying we hadn’t read that chapter!).
Also today Jamie had to have another test for his jaundice (ok) and the heel prick test. (The Guthrie or heel prick test is done between six days and two weeks after birth by which time your baby will be well established on milk feeds. Blood from the heel is analysed for conditions like cystic fibrosis, hypothyroidism and phenylketonurea). I sat with him while the nurse/paediatrician took his bloods and felt at the time it was a good reason to faint if ever there was one but I didn’t. They did say we could go out for a walk if someone was here for Jamie. But somehow I don’t think that would really help me. I just need some quiet time. At least the 4 hourly feeds seem to have helped.
Paracetamol arrives approx 1 hour after first requesting it!
11.30pm and Jamie pulled out his tube and I didn’t notice. I set my alarm for 11.20pm and went to the loo and asked who was looking after me and whether I should have help trying to feed. Told not to wear him out and try at his next feed in 3 hours. I said ‘It’s 4 hours’. I felt no one really knew…feeling sorry for myself. Felt being given contradictory information. This afternoons midwife is different to this evenings and different information / attitude. I feel overwhelmed and confused!!
Tiredness, Going Stir Crazy, Frustration at Breast feeding earlier, Not feeling quite ready for this (as I keep saying we hadn’t read that chapter!).
Also today Jamie had to have another test for his jaundice (ok) and the heel prick test. (The Guthrie or heel prick test is done between six days and two weeks after birth by which time your baby will be well established on milk feeds. Blood from the heel is analysed for conditions like cystic fibrosis, hypothyroidism and phenylketonurea). I sat with him while the nurse/paediatrician took his bloods and felt at the time it was a good reason to faint if ever there was one but I didn’t. They did say we could go out for a walk if someone was here for Jamie. But somehow I don’t think that would really help me. I just need some quiet time. At least the 4 hourly feeds seem to have helped.
Paracetamol arrives approx 1 hour after first requesting it!
11.30pm and Jamie pulled out his tube and I didn’t notice. I set my alarm for 11.20pm and went to the loo and asked who was looking after me and whether I should have help trying to feed. Told not to wear him out and try at his next feed in 3 hours. I said ‘It’s 4 hours’. I felt no one really knew…feeling sorry for myself. Felt being given contradictory information. This afternoons midwife is different to this evenings and different information / attitude. I feel overwhelmed and confused!!
Thursday 9th April
Been expressing milk via the milking machine (which mimics the sucking action which Jamie currently does not have) for a few days now and bloody hell do my boobs hurt today. Last night I expressed 40ml in one sitting!! About 12ish they came to say that Jamie’s results showed he had slightly raised jaundice levels. This meant he had to be under the giant sun lamp. They re-took his levels at 12 midnight but it was 4/5pm before he was taken off the sunlamp. Being so bright meant that he spent the night in the day room with another baby who was in the hot cot. The midwife woke me up to express as normal during the night and I went and had a look at them both but it was very hot. About 7am they brought him back to me. Later in the morning the Lincolnshire Echo arrived to take some pictures of babies and they were asking who would like to be included. Unfortunately, Jamie not only had his tube up his nose but now had a batman mask.9.30pm it’s still hot although we no longer have the sun lamp. Jamie looks snuggled. Having had the feeds moved to 4 hourly certainly made a difference in terms of time and stress. I am expressing more each time – even if daddy keeps spilling it!
Tube pulled out at 11.30pm and then his umbilical clip fell out when did nappy. I have kept it but am not sure why….
Never started my Raspberry Leaf Tea, ordered my Tens machine, my relaxation CDs or read that relevant chapter!!
Tuesday 7th April / Wednesday 8th April
2.45pm Put my expressed breast milk in the fridge and it looked a bit pathetic next to some of the other bottles in there but it’s a start. Been promised that tomorrow more will come as day 3 for me (but day 4 for Jamie).
Can’t believe the amount of clothes that already need to be washed! Thank god for Nanna helping out! And how thick am I? I mentioned to someone that Jamie kept scratching his face. ‘Have you got any scratch mits?’ she asked. Of course. That what they are for!! Obvious really!
22.45pm It was so busy yesterday that I felt I did not have a moment to myself. Today was better, but the Bull went to work and I had to do the tube feeds myself, and then Jamie pulled out the tube. Then my mother arrived which I had been waiting for so I could have a bath, but she brought Auntie with her and I ended up staying to chat and not getting my bath after all. After they had gone and I had changed and fed Jamie I had a headache, my legs ached and I suddenly thought I was going to die. Like a panic attack from the old days all the terrible thoughts started racing in my head. However, the Dr came and checked me over and there was nothing physically wrong with me; other than lack of sleep and the pressure of little Jamie relying on me for his feeds, not being able to breast feed, never getting my bath, being constipated and the extra problem of not knowing when we will be allowed home. Realised that at 5am this morning I will have been in hospital for a whole week – no wonder I feel stressed! Oh and Jamie did a projectile sick today after he had been fed. I panicked that he was going to choke on his own vomit. It was very scary!
Can’t believe the amount of clothes that already need to be washed! Thank god for Nanna helping out! And how thick am I? I mentioned to someone that Jamie kept scratching his face. ‘Have you got any scratch mits?’ she asked. Of course. That what they are for!! Obvious really!
22.45pm It was so busy yesterday that I felt I did not have a moment to myself. Today was better, but the Bull went to work and I had to do the tube feeds myself, and then Jamie pulled out the tube. Then my mother arrived which I had been waiting for so I could have a bath, but she brought Auntie with her and I ended up staying to chat and not getting my bath after all. After they had gone and I had changed and fed Jamie I had a headache, my legs ached and I suddenly thought I was going to die. Like a panic attack from the old days all the terrible thoughts started racing in my head. However, the Dr came and checked me over and there was nothing physically wrong with me; other than lack of sleep and the pressure of little Jamie relying on me for his feeds, not being able to breast feed, never getting my bath, being constipated and the extra problem of not knowing when we will be allowed home. Realised that at 5am this morning I will have been in hospital for a whole week – no wonder I feel stressed! Oh and Jamie did a projectile sick today after he had been fed. I panicked that he was going to choke on his own vomit. It was very scary!
8th April Had a bad couple of days but I think I am feeling better tonight. As long as I don’t think about panicking about panicking I should be OK. I think it just got too much for me and all of a sudden was overwhelmed. However, it did get me discussed at handover and the ladies from the Transition Team came and visited me first thing. After I had had a cry they said ‘we may be able to get you home Monday’. This seemed a long way off when they said it, but now its only 4 days away…and as it is bank holiday, hospital is probably the best place for me as there would be no support in the community.
3am Jamie pulls out his tube. Still trying to breast feed and been told to concentrate on the following:
Tummy to Mummy.
Nose to Nipple.
Breast Feeding (not Nipple Feeding).
Monday 6th April: Will I ever have a leisurely breakfast again?
9am: This morning I was visited by an Anesthetist to check how I was feeling after the epidural. She said that Dr Dale was always grumpy – it wasn’t just because we had woken him, and not to worry. I remember trying to have a conversation with him and I am sure by the time he had finished he was a little more mellow with us. I know I was quite laid back and laughing about it, but of course that would have been all the drugs I was on! She asked specifically about headaches but I said I had had one since the birth anyway due to lack of sleep (approximately 4 hours last night). I did thank her and said I was glad I had the epidural.
10.30: Hearing Screening done on Jamie – ‘Good Response’. Then visited by Transitional Care Team who asked about Jamie and said they would weigh him before his feed at 11.30am. He had gone from 2.82 to 2.66 but that was ok as they can lose up to 10% of their body weight following birth in the first few days. The team also took his temperature and thought it was a little low but this may have been because I had just changed him.
Dr then visited (not seen before) and was concerned about Jamie’s colour and Jaundice. This I was told could be due to him being dehydrated which in turn affects feeding, weight gain etc. Taken away to do bloods and the results showed that his bloods were ok but they confirmed that Jamie had jaundice. It was not at a serious level though.
Tried to breastfeed, but again Jamie not doing it as getting very sleepy. Tried to cup feed but he was again sleepy, so the midwives have decided to tube feed him. This means having to first check the PH level of the liquid in Jamie’s stomach by drawing out liquid using a syringe. This tells us where the tube ends. If the PH is too high then this could mean the tube has slipped into the lungs and therefore it would be very dangerous to pour milk down the tube. Once this is seen to be ok, another sterilized syringe is filled with milk and slowly trickled into Jamie’s stomach. Woken up at 11.30pm this evening for Jamie’s feed but I was totally dead to the world. Went to the loo and although I may not need to go quite so many times or with such urgency as when I was pregnant, I still need to go before my bladder gets quite so full, as stitches can make it a bit painful. Had the stitches checked today and apparently all looks well.
What is the worst thing that could happen? It never happened. He is perfect – well, mummy thinks he is anyway. God I have already started talking about the consistency of poo and sending text messages to Daddy about his projectile peeing – what have we become?
10.30: Hearing Screening done on Jamie – ‘Good Response’. Then visited by Transitional Care Team who asked about Jamie and said they would weigh him before his feed at 11.30am. He had gone from 2.82 to 2.66 but that was ok as they can lose up to 10% of their body weight following birth in the first few days. The team also took his temperature and thought it was a little low but this may have been because I had just changed him.
Dr then visited (not seen before) and was concerned about Jamie’s colour and Jaundice. This I was told could be due to him being dehydrated which in turn affects feeding, weight gain etc. Taken away to do bloods and the results showed that his bloods were ok but they confirmed that Jamie had jaundice. It was not at a serious level though.
Tried to breastfeed, but again Jamie not doing it as getting very sleepy. Tried to cup feed but he was again sleepy, so the midwives have decided to tube feed him. This means having to first check the PH level of the liquid in Jamie’s stomach by drawing out liquid using a syringe. This tells us where the tube ends. If the PH is too high then this could mean the tube has slipped into the lungs and therefore it would be very dangerous to pour milk down the tube. Once this is seen to be ok, another sterilized syringe is filled with milk and slowly trickled into Jamie’s stomach. Woken up at 11.30pm this evening for Jamie’s feed but I was totally dead to the world. Went to the loo and although I may not need to go quite so many times or with such urgency as when I was pregnant, I still need to go before my bladder gets quite so full, as stitches can make it a bit painful. Had the stitches checked today and apparently all looks well.
What is the worst thing that could happen? It never happened. He is perfect – well, mummy thinks he is anyway. God I have already started talking about the consistency of poo and sending text messages to Daddy about his projectile peeing – what have we become?
Saturday 4th April / Sunday 5th April
23.22pm Saturday Started labour – according to Gemma – nearly 48hours ago. She said she saw my labour starting at somewhere around midnight so I was in labour for just over 7 hours.
Sunday
4.30am this morning and I woke up to find Jamie missing. I wandered out into the ward rather confused to find that one of the midwives had checked his temperature and found him to be a little cold so they had moved him to a ‘hot cot’ by the nurses station.
After the labour ward, I was taken onto the Transitional Ward where I will have to stay until Baby Borrill or Jamie George Francis Simpson as we named him this morning, has ‘established feeding’. At the moment – and because of him being pre-term - he lacks the sucking action required for breast feeding. He is currently being fed every 3 hours with Aptamil formulae milk. I have been attempting to breast feed with the help / bullying of the midwives, but he isn’t quite grasping it so to speak. So I have been put on what can only be described as a milking machine to at least stimulate my breasts into thinking Jamie is feeding and thereby (hopefully) producing more milk which will (hopefully) encourage Jamie to feed.
Because my waters broke on the 1st April, Jamie is having to have antibiotics which he gets once a day via the cannula on his hand. (Mummy had one in her hand most of yesterday!). This looks sore but it’s better than him having an injection every day. We have put a sock over his hand to hopefully stop it being pulled about, which makes dressing and undressing him difficult but we are getting better. The Bull changed two nappies today and I think I did a couple as well.
Yesterday is all a blur. The Bull feels the same way. I remember it not being too bad in the end and certainly not as bad as anticipated and worried about. And Jamie is Perfect!! At one stage I felt I had pooed – only to be told that it was Jamie’s head. Then it felt like I was sat on him. I do remember having my legs in stirrups and I did an awful lot of pushing during the last stages of labour but I can’t remember how long for. I didn’t really feel the contractions due to the epidural and had to rely on the monitor I was wired up to which showed them as numbers. 15+ generally meant I was having a contraction.
The Bull was very good. Rubbing my back when it got really painful – which I think was due to me straining – although he did get a bit flappy and could not find things when I asked for them i.e. water, lip balm, sick bowl. I was only sick twice. The second time due to drinking an energy drink far too quickly which then came back up equally as quick. I did feel better however for the puking!
Our midwife was fantastic. We could not have asked for anyone better. She told us her shift finished at 7.30am and he would be out by then. True to her word Jamie was born at 7.17am. What I could not get over however, was the amount of paperwork that she had to complete throughout the labour. It seemed she was always having to write something in the notes.
Somewhere along the way I seem to have lost an earring……and any dignity I may have ever had i.e. having to deliver the placenta – which I really don’t remember as I was too busy waiting to be told / hear he was OK. Then having my catheter removed, and having to use a bedpan when I felt like I was very high up on the bed and on display for all to see. Being on the 4th floor, I suppose it wasn’t really possible but who knows? And then finding out I had ripped myself during all that pushing, and needed to be stitched up. The stitches will dissolve by themselves in approximately 6 weeks. As for the number, I was told it was just one continuous stitch but I made the mistake of looking down while she was doing it and the sight of the hooked needle will be with me for a long time. At least she did it under local anesthetic. For this I am allowed to take paracetamol and am encouraged to have a daily bath. Of course, I will be bleeding for a number of days and the midwives keep asking me about the colour and the flow of it!
Tonight (Sunday) I got a bit fretful. The Bull had a few tears yesterday but mine have kicked in today. I currently have a cold damp flannel on my forehead and I am thinking about all I have been through in the last 48 hours and not knowing when I, sorry we, will be able to go home. One midwife said it would be 1-2 weeks. When they were giving him his antibiotics this evening one of the midwives did say 4-5 days, but it depends on the blood results. The pediatrician came today. He saw Jamie just after he was born and said today he was a bit jaundice but his breathing and chest are ok. He said we had to wait for the ‘cultures’ to comeback from the lab which has a 48 hour turnaround – meaning Monday morning. So at least tomorrow we will know if there is anything to really worry about. He also mentioned ‘established feeding’ as a criteria for going home…. It already feels like I have been here over a week, what with coming in last Friday, going home Saturday and back in Wednesday am.
Sunday
4.30am this morning and I woke up to find Jamie missing. I wandered out into the ward rather confused to find that one of the midwives had checked his temperature and found him to be a little cold so they had moved him to a ‘hot cot’ by the nurses station.
After the labour ward, I was taken onto the Transitional Ward where I will have to stay until Baby Borrill or Jamie George Francis Simpson as we named him this morning, has ‘established feeding’. At the moment – and because of him being pre-term - he lacks the sucking action required for breast feeding. He is currently being fed every 3 hours with Aptamil formulae milk. I have been attempting to breast feed with the help / bullying of the midwives, but he isn’t quite grasping it so to speak. So I have been put on what can only be described as a milking machine to at least stimulate my breasts into thinking Jamie is feeding and thereby (hopefully) producing more milk which will (hopefully) encourage Jamie to feed.
Because my waters broke on the 1st April, Jamie is having to have antibiotics which he gets once a day via the cannula on his hand. (Mummy had one in her hand most of yesterday!). This looks sore but it’s better than him having an injection every day. We have put a sock over his hand to hopefully stop it being pulled about, which makes dressing and undressing him difficult but we are getting better. The Bull changed two nappies today and I think I did a couple as well.
Yesterday is all a blur. The Bull feels the same way. I remember it not being too bad in the end and certainly not as bad as anticipated and worried about. And Jamie is Perfect!! At one stage I felt I had pooed – only to be told that it was Jamie’s head. Then it felt like I was sat on him. I do remember having my legs in stirrups and I did an awful lot of pushing during the last stages of labour but I can’t remember how long for. I didn’t really feel the contractions due to the epidural and had to rely on the monitor I was wired up to which showed them as numbers. 15+ generally meant I was having a contraction.
The Bull was very good. Rubbing my back when it got really painful – which I think was due to me straining – although he did get a bit flappy and could not find things when I asked for them i.e. water, lip balm, sick bowl. I was only sick twice. The second time due to drinking an energy drink far too quickly which then came back up equally as quick. I did feel better however for the puking!
Our midwife was fantastic. We could not have asked for anyone better. She told us her shift finished at 7.30am and he would be out by then. True to her word Jamie was born at 7.17am. What I could not get over however, was the amount of paperwork that she had to complete throughout the labour. It seemed she was always having to write something in the notes.
Somewhere along the way I seem to have lost an earring……and any dignity I may have ever had i.e. having to deliver the placenta – which I really don’t remember as I was too busy waiting to be told / hear he was OK. Then having my catheter removed, and having to use a bedpan when I felt like I was very high up on the bed and on display for all to see. Being on the 4th floor, I suppose it wasn’t really possible but who knows? And then finding out I had ripped myself during all that pushing, and needed to be stitched up. The stitches will dissolve by themselves in approximately 6 weeks. As for the number, I was told it was just one continuous stitch but I made the mistake of looking down while she was doing it and the sight of the hooked needle will be with me for a long time. At least she did it under local anesthetic. For this I am allowed to take paracetamol and am encouraged to have a daily bath. Of course, I will be bleeding for a number of days and the midwives keep asking me about the colour and the flow of it!
Tonight (Sunday) I got a bit fretful. The Bull had a few tears yesterday but mine have kicked in today. I currently have a cold damp flannel on my forehead and I am thinking about all I have been through in the last 48 hours and not knowing when I, sorry we, will be able to go home. One midwife said it would be 1-2 weeks. When they were giving him his antibiotics this evening one of the midwives did say 4-5 days, but it depends on the blood results. The pediatrician came today. He saw Jamie just after he was born and said today he was a bit jaundice but his breathing and chest are ok. He said we had to wait for the ‘cultures’ to comeback from the lab which has a 48 hour turnaround – meaning Monday morning. So at least tomorrow we will know if there is anything to really worry about. He also mentioned ‘established feeding’ as a criteria for going home…. It already feels like I have been here over a week, what with coming in last Friday, going home Saturday and back in Wednesday am.
Saturday 4th April 2009
Jamie George Francis Simpson born at 7.17amWeight: 6lb, 4oz Length:47cm
5 weeks early
Born an Aries (21/3-20/4) rather than a Taurus (20/4-20/5) on Grand National Day 2009. I did not have time to place my bet. None of the 4 horses I had chosen came anywhere!
Friday 3rd April
Dr visited at 9am to say ‘you can go home today’. Told that once I got home I should take my temperature 4 hourly and to ring if it rose. Also told come in if I experienced any sharp pains or if the colour of my waters became green or brown. Pink is Ok. I mentioned my constipation and I was told that senokot, as well as bran and fluids, were ok to take to relieve the symptoms. However, although the Dr said I could go home I had to wait for the midwife to discharge me. I was told that this would probably be about 10.30am. When the midwife came, she said she had been looking at my notes and felt I needed a scan to check my waters were enough to sustain a baby before she would let me home. She said it would not be until after lunch but it would be before 5pm as that was when she finished. However, found myself on the ground floor (where I had been for my 12 and 20 week scans) in my dressing gown and PJs about 11ish. The scan checked the amount of liquid around my belly and measured him. Told he would weigh 6lb 6oz if born now. After the scan I went back onto the ward but was feeling a bit rough. I was told the midwife who needed to discharge me had been called to the labour ward. I still had constipation and it started to get worse (like last night) so I asked if I could have something for the pain. I was given a suppository and a pair of rubber gloves. Ten minutes after doing the deed, I needed to go. The suppository came straight back. I thought perhaps it had not worked as I still had the pain but after talking to the Midwife she thought it might actually be contractions so put me on the monitor again and Yes!! She then did an internal and I was 3cm dilated!!
3pm given paracetamol and shortly after taken to labour ward. Had a bath and sat on a birthing ball when not being monitored. I lasted til 5.30pm without pain relief. Asked for Pethadine but given Diamorphine instead (similar stuff). However, this made me far too sleepy – although certainly a lot calmer and able to deal with the contractions. Just before 8pm and it was felt that my contractions may have stopped. Midwife gave me an internal– still on monitor – and I was 3-4cm dilated with a thin cervix – which is good!! As the cervix dilates about ½ cm an hour this would make the birth approximately 9am tomorrow. Decided to put me on a drip to help things along. ‘Start at 3ml and then raise 3ml every half hour.’
The Bulls brother and his wife arrived to pick up the keys; armed with provisions– including a bottle of whisky! When they left Cheltenham for a weekend in Lincoln, I was about to be discharged and they did not believe The Bull when he rang to say I was in labour!! Luckily we had a spare set of house keys at the hospital. I managed to wave to them in the car park from vantage point in Cathedral view. So, the first time I see little cousin Lucy is from the 5th floor!
The labour room itself was very nice and other than the view I had my own en-suit
e and the ability to turn the lighting down to a low level rather than the sharp bright lights! We also had access to the TV and Dale paid for a days worth which also included a games package so he was happy playing Hangman! I did notice that, although we were told we could take relaxation CDs, tapes etc. there was no player in the room! There was a NCT poster on the wall (which the Bull found highly amusing for some reason) ‘Positions to make your labour shorter and easier’. However, as mostly on the monitor did not really get a chance to try any of them!!
Rang mum, to tell her what was happening, and she said ‘I’ll pop up during visiting hours then’. Not sure she quite realized what was going on!!
At 9.15pm my midwife Gemma appeared- starting her night shift. She promised that I would have had the baby before the end of her shift at 7.30am. The midwives I saw prior to Gemma had asked about how I was going to feed him and both explained about expressing if he had to have a tube up his nose due to his age / size. Discussed formulae etc. with Gemma. Felt more at ease with her. She asked about what kind of pain relief I wanted and she was happy with the gas and air and the epidural route and at just after 12.30am she called in Dr Dale…..
3pm given paracetamol and shortly after taken to labour ward. Had a bath and sat on a birthing ball when not being monitored. I lasted til 5.30pm without pain relief. Asked for Pethadine but given Diamorphine instead (similar stuff). However, this made me far too sleepy – although certainly a lot calmer and able to deal with the contractions. Just before 8pm and it was felt that my contractions may have stopped. Midwife gave me an internal– still on monitor – and I was 3-4cm dilated with a thin cervix – which is good!! As the cervix dilates about ½ cm an hour this would make the birth approximately 9am tomorrow. Decided to put me on a drip to help things along. ‘Start at 3ml and then raise 3ml every half hour.’
The Bulls brother and his wife arrived to pick up the keys; armed with provisions– including a bottle of whisky! When they left Cheltenham for a weekend in Lincoln, I was about to be discharged and they did not believe The Bull when he rang to say I was in labour!! Luckily we had a spare set of house keys at the hospital. I managed to wave to them in the car park from vantage point in Cathedral view. So, the first time I see little cousin Lucy is from the 5th floor!
The labour room itself was very nice and other than the view I had my own en-suit
e and the ability to turn the lighting down to a low level rather than the sharp bright lights! We also had access to the TV and Dale paid for a days worth which also included a games package so he was happy playing Hangman! I did notice that, although we were told we could take relaxation CDs, tapes etc. there was no player in the room! There was a NCT poster on the wall (which the Bull found highly amusing for some reason) ‘Positions to make your labour shorter and easier’. However, as mostly on the monitor did not really get a chance to try any of them!!Rang mum, to tell her what was happening, and she said ‘I’ll pop up during visiting hours then’. Not sure she quite realized what was going on!!
At 9.15pm my midwife Gemma appeared- starting her night shift. She promised that I would have had the baby before the end of her shift at 7.30am. The midwives I saw prior to Gemma had asked about how I was going to feed him and both explained about expressing if he had to have a tube up his nose due to his age / size. Discussed formulae etc. with Gemma. Felt more at ease with her. She asked about what kind of pain relief I wanted and she was happy with the gas and air and the epidural route and at just after 12.30am she called in Dr Dale…..
2nd April
7.15am Restless in night but I think I slept better than when I was on Nettleham Ward in my own room!! The girl next to me was monitored between 12 and 1am, and was then taken to the labour ward on a wheelchair. I heard them say she was 3-4cm dilated and when I asked, was told that she had had the baby by 7am!! Went to the loo and it was quite painful to go (poo) and there was a small amount of blood in my fluid – still leaking. Had the urge to go again almost straight away. Came back to bed and felt there was a pain under my scar. Thought it better to call the midwife – who came very quick this time (yesterday it seemed to take an age but that was probably due to my anxiety levels!) and she put me on the monitor to see what was happening. Panicked as monitor stopped recording heartbeat but it was just because baby had moved and could not be located. Temperature, blood pressure ok. No Contractions!
Went down to the day room on Nettleham Ward for my breakfast – cold coffee again!! And met someone from my old work. She is being kept in as she has high blood pressure and is due about the same time as me. She is however, expecting twins!
Trying to focus on what my baby is going to look like, but struggling to see a ‘normal’ baby. Keep looking at my pictures of Lucy on my phone to focus myself. Anxiety levels are rising and falling but I feel good that I didn’t need the sleeping tablet last night. Had a shower about 10ish once the Bull had arrived and felt better for it. Dr visited and said I might be able to go home tomorrow. What about today? Still leaking but says it is ok as long as it continues to be clear. After lunch however, kicked out of the ward for a deep clean.
The Bull left at 3pm as he needed time to sort himself and I needed some sleep. There was a different lady in the bed next to me but once again she went off to have her baby… Just before visiting in the evening I went to the toilet and there was a small clump of blood so I rang the buzzer. Once again I found myself hooked up to a monitor and was still there when my brother and his wife and then the Bull arrived. I was beginning to think no one was coming but it was nice to see them.
After my brother and his wife had gone I sat for a while with the Bulls hand on my belly feeling the baby’s movements. Then Wendy (Midwife) told me off for not taking the sleeping tablet last night. She took it back off me. Later she came back to check my blood pressure and had a chat which made me feel better. The Bull left at 10ish as he was going to try to go into work for a few hours tomorrow…. Sat and listened to the midwife going round the ward. Waters breaking early seems to be quite common….
I was ok until about midnight when I rang the buzzer as I felt constipated. I was put on the monitor and my blood pressure checked – which was ok, and given paracetamol.
Went down to the day room on Nettleham Ward for my breakfast – cold coffee again!! And met someone from my old work. She is being kept in as she has high blood pressure and is due about the same time as me. She is however, expecting twins!
Trying to focus on what my baby is going to look like, but struggling to see a ‘normal’ baby. Keep looking at my pictures of Lucy on my phone to focus myself. Anxiety levels are rising and falling but I feel good that I didn’t need the sleeping tablet last night. Had a shower about 10ish once the Bull had arrived and felt better for it. Dr visited and said I might be able to go home tomorrow. What about today? Still leaking but says it is ok as long as it continues to be clear. After lunch however, kicked out of the ward for a deep clean.
The Bull left at 3pm as he needed time to sort himself and I needed some sleep. There was a different lady in the bed next to me but once again she went off to have her baby… Just before visiting in the evening I went to the toilet and there was a small clump of blood so I rang the buzzer. Once again I found myself hooked up to a monitor and was still there when my brother and his wife and then the Bull arrived. I was beginning to think no one was coming but it was nice to see them.
After my brother and his wife had gone I sat for a while with the Bulls hand on my belly feeling the baby’s movements. Then Wendy (Midwife) told me off for not taking the sleeping tablet last night. She took it back off me. Later she came back to check my blood pressure and had a chat which made me feel better. The Bull left at 10ish as he was going to try to go into work for a few hours tomorrow…. Sat and listened to the midwife going round the ward. Waters breaking early seems to be quite common….
I was ok until about midnight when I rang the buzzer as I felt constipated. I was put on the monitor and my blood pressure checked – which was ok, and given paracetamol.
1st April and Its No Joke!!
The next few days were terrible and looking back I now realize that my blood pressure must have been sky high and I felt continuously stressed!! I tried to follow the advice in books and on the internet about carpel tunnel – put hand above head and wriggle fingers - and for breathlessness; try to sleep in a semi-propped up position. As for the swelling it said to drink lots of water and avoid standing and salt (bang goes my salt and vinegar crisps!). I really did try to rest and relax but found myself constantly checking my emails and trying to finish my ‘to do’ list before the baby arrived…. On the Monday we had planned to have a day shopping as The Bull had booked a day off work but I really did not feel like leaving the house so we sat in the garden as the weather was so nice. On the Tuesday we had the car serviced which was perfect timing….
5.08am on the alarm and I woke up thinking ‘is that a discharge or something?’ and then I find myself stumbling to the toilet; holding myself. I wasn’t sure whether it was my waters breaking or whether I had wet myself, but sitting on the toilet I was sure it was my waters. The feeling was different to weeing – like from a different place – and it didn’t stop! The Bull rang the Assessment Centre who said to come straight away but to bring an overnight bag ‘just in case’. I was surprisingly calm and wandered round thinking of things to pack. Had to change my sanitary pads and knickers (and trousers) a number of times before we left. It was only once I got into the car that I began to worry about what was happening…..
Arrived at the hospital 5.45amish and was soon hooked up to the monitors and bloods taken. Baby OK, blood pressure high, protein in urine, but readings normal. Dr (same as Friday) came and this time did an internal to confirm it was my waters. He noted that I should be monitored (BP) every 4 hours and should stay in overnight to see what happens. Admitted onto the Assessment Centre Ward about 7.45am with antibiotics to stop the baby caching anything now that my waters had gone. 9am and blood pressure going back to normal. Still leaking but one thing I was not aware of prior was that your body continues to produce ‘waters’ even once they have broken. This ensures the baby remains safe. 10.45am Had a cup of tea. The Bull is bored and does not know what to do with himself so I sent him out for a walk / shop / toilet. Have spoken to mum and sent a load of text messages. The Dr says I need to stay in 24-48hours to see what happens. If nothing happens, there is talk of going home and then being induced at 37 weeks (2 weeks time). If labour does start the baby may have to go upstairs to the Neonatal Unit for a bit as he would be classified as premature. The sucking reflex was mentioned again as a problem for babies born this early. I am hot and uncomfortable and have been getting occasional pains across my belly. I can still feel the baby moving! Just have to wait and see what happens next.
10.30pm The Bull has gone after watching England beat the Ukraine. I had a bit of a wobble this afternoon just as my mum arrived (3.30pm). I came over all hot, sweaty and panicky but the Dr came and looked me over and said if I felt panicky later I could always have a sleeping tablet. I saw the Dr later on (on my way back from the toilet) and asked if there was anything else I could take but they suggested a nice walk!! Had my blood pressure taken just before the Bull left and it was normal as was my temperature so really nothing to worry about. Feel scared now am on own. Always thought that once your waters broke labour soon followed but this has not been the case with me – or it seems other ladies on this ward. Been told that your waters can actually re-seal themselves!! My waters however, are still flowing merrily along!!
5.08am on the alarm and I woke up thinking ‘is that a discharge or something?’ and then I find myself stumbling to the toilet; holding myself. I wasn’t sure whether it was my waters breaking or whether I had wet myself, but sitting on the toilet I was sure it was my waters. The feeling was different to weeing – like from a different place – and it didn’t stop! The Bull rang the Assessment Centre who said to come straight away but to bring an overnight bag ‘just in case’. I was surprisingly calm and wandered round thinking of things to pack. Had to change my sanitary pads and knickers (and trousers) a number of times before we left. It was only once I got into the car that I began to worry about what was happening…..
Arrived at the hospital 5.45amish and was soon hooked up to the monitors and bloods taken. Baby OK, blood pressure high, protein in urine, but readings normal. Dr (same as Friday) came and this time did an internal to confirm it was my waters. He noted that I should be monitored (BP) every 4 hours and should stay in overnight to see what happens. Admitted onto the Assessment Centre Ward about 7.45am with antibiotics to stop the baby caching anything now that my waters had gone. 9am and blood pressure going back to normal. Still leaking but one thing I was not aware of prior was that your body continues to produce ‘waters’ even once they have broken. This ensures the baby remains safe. 10.45am Had a cup of tea. The Bull is bored and does not know what to do with himself so I sent him out for a walk / shop / toilet. Have spoken to mum and sent a load of text messages. The Dr says I need to stay in 24-48hours to see what happens. If nothing happens, there is talk of going home and then being induced at 37 weeks (2 weeks time). If labour does start the baby may have to go upstairs to the Neonatal Unit for a bit as he would be classified as premature. The sucking reflex was mentioned again as a problem for babies born this early. I am hot and uncomfortable and have been getting occasional pains across my belly. I can still feel the baby moving! Just have to wait and see what happens next.
10.30pm The Bull has gone after watching England beat the Ukraine. I had a bit of a wobble this afternoon just as my mum arrived (3.30pm). I came over all hot, sweaty and panicky but the Dr came and looked me over and said if I felt panicky later I could always have a sleeping tablet. I saw the Dr later on (on my way back from the toilet) and asked if there was anything else I could take but they suggested a nice walk!! Had my blood pressure taken just before the Bull left and it was normal as was my temperature so really nothing to worry about. Feel scared now am on own. Always thought that once your waters broke labour soon followed but this has not been the case with me – or it seems other ladies on this ward. Been told that your waters can actually re-seal themselves!! My waters however, are still flowing merrily along!!
27th March: Face to Face with Reality
7.30pm on a Friday evening and I am admitted onto Nettleham Ward. I had organized an evening in with two friends to watch Mama Mia but instead found myself in hospital with high blood pressure.
Went for my regular check up with my midwife and my blood pressure was raised, and there was an irregularity in my urine. She then asked a lot of questions; looked at my swollen hands and ankles and concluded I ‘looked different’ from the last time she had seen me (4 weeks ago). She thought my face had also swollen – which I agreed with but I thought that was normal weight gain. My midwife rang the assessment centre and we went straight up. This time we were taken straight into a room to be wired up as before. The midwife at the hospital asked a lot of the same questions and then I was seen by a Registrar who also asked questions about the swelling, any pain, floaters in my eyes, headaches and how I have been feeling generally. He also checked my eyes and my reflexes.
I had to admit that the last few days I had felt exhausted but I put that down to not sleeping because of my size and junior moving about so much. I had also had what I thought was indigestion after having a busy Thursday morning shopping and then going out for dinner (which I did enjoy).
My blood pressure was taken at regular intervals (fluctuating) and baby was monitored for over an hour. Baby was fine but my uterus was contracting which could be an indication of early labour!! I also had my bloods taken. Although I was told I would be seen by a Consultant to have an internal it appeared that this was not possible and so I ended up being admitted. It was felt that although nothing was significant on its own; altogether the symptoms meant I needed to be monitored for a longer period. I was given two paracetamols and Codeine for the pain in my uterus. However, I was very confused as to what was ‘pain’, what is baby moving about, what are contractions, what are Braxton Hicks and what is ‘normal’.
While waiting to be admitted I asked if I could go outside to ring my mum. However, what I thought was the buzzer for another patient was in fact the fire alarm and we were told to stay where we were and had to shut all the windows and doors. This made me even more anxious than before and probably didn’t do my blood pressure any good at all!!
Just gone 8pm on the ward and although I have my own room I am surrounded by mothers and their newborn babies and their visitors. After they said they wanted to admit me I got all emotional and this is how I ended up in my own room. The only drawback – other than hearing everything that is said in the next room - is that I don’t have my own toilet and have to get dressed(ish) whenever I want to use the loo. I was anxious about being on a ward but am not really sure why. I was certainly worried about being left on my own when The Bull went home to get some bits and pieces for me. I was so tired and emotional that one of the midwives said he could stay in my room if I wanted him too, but it was certainly better for both of us that he was able to go home and sleep in his own bed rather than on a chair!
It was actually 10to12 when The Bull left for the night. I was assessed again at just before 11pm. My blood pressure was down, but due to the (faint) contractions they felt it was better I stayed in in case labour started. The midwife who assessed me said if I started labour now they wouldn’t stop it, but I would probably need to stay in hospital afterwards for a while as the baby wouldn’t have developed its sucking reflex and so would have to have help feeding. The midwife checked my belly – it was the first time anyone had – and she said that the baby was head down. She noted that his spine was on my right hand side. She said that midwifes did not usually do this until mothers were 36 weeks pregnant as babies were prone to move.
It was constant noise (babies, buzzers, mothers) while I was on the ward. I woke up about 2.30am with a need to wee, baby moving about and faint period pains…. I think I had a total of 3 hours sleep. Saturday morning and I was put on the Monitor again for 30 mins but no tightenings were indicated. They also took a sample of my urine and said there were white blood cells detected / creatinine which could be an indication of a urine infection. I was asked how I felt and it was suggested that I was suffering from carpel tunnel in my hands and arms and that perhaps baby was lying on a nerve which was the pain I was experiencing in my right hand side. After being seen by the midwife, I then had to wait to be seen by the Dr. However, the only Dr was the on call Dr as it was the weekend. ‘Alex’ came to see me about 2pm and I was given antibiotics for the urine infection. There was talk of bed rest, being given steroids – which delays labour - and daily visits from the community midwife….. However, I was later let out at tea time without any of these things.
Went for my regular check up with my midwife and my blood pressure was raised, and there was an irregularity in my urine. She then asked a lot of questions; looked at my swollen hands and ankles and concluded I ‘looked different’ from the last time she had seen me (4 weeks ago). She thought my face had also swollen – which I agreed with but I thought that was normal weight gain. My midwife rang the assessment centre and we went straight up. This time we were taken straight into a room to be wired up as before. The midwife at the hospital asked a lot of the same questions and then I was seen by a Registrar who also asked questions about the swelling, any pain, floaters in my eyes, headaches and how I have been feeling generally. He also checked my eyes and my reflexes.
I had to admit that the last few days I had felt exhausted but I put that down to not sleeping because of my size and junior moving about so much. I had also had what I thought was indigestion after having a busy Thursday morning shopping and then going out for dinner (which I did enjoy).
My blood pressure was taken at regular intervals (fluctuating) and baby was monitored for over an hour. Baby was fine but my uterus was contracting which could be an indication of early labour!! I also had my bloods taken. Although I was told I would be seen by a Consultant to have an internal it appeared that this was not possible and so I ended up being admitted. It was felt that although nothing was significant on its own; altogether the symptoms meant I needed to be monitored for a longer period. I was given two paracetamols and Codeine for the pain in my uterus. However, I was very confused as to what was ‘pain’, what is baby moving about, what are contractions, what are Braxton Hicks and what is ‘normal’.
While waiting to be admitted I asked if I could go outside to ring my mum. However, what I thought was the buzzer for another patient was in fact the fire alarm and we were told to stay where we were and had to shut all the windows and doors. This made me even more anxious than before and probably didn’t do my blood pressure any good at all!!
Just gone 8pm on the ward and although I have my own room I am surrounded by mothers and their newborn babies and their visitors. After they said they wanted to admit me I got all emotional and this is how I ended up in my own room. The only drawback – other than hearing everything that is said in the next room - is that I don’t have my own toilet and have to get dressed(ish) whenever I want to use the loo. I was anxious about being on a ward but am not really sure why. I was certainly worried about being left on my own when The Bull went home to get some bits and pieces for me. I was so tired and emotional that one of the midwives said he could stay in my room if I wanted him too, but it was certainly better for both of us that he was able to go home and sleep in his own bed rather than on a chair!
It was actually 10to12 when The Bull left for the night. I was assessed again at just before 11pm. My blood pressure was down, but due to the (faint) contractions they felt it was better I stayed in in case labour started. The midwife who assessed me said if I started labour now they wouldn’t stop it, but I would probably need to stay in hospital afterwards for a while as the baby wouldn’t have developed its sucking reflex and so would have to have help feeding. The midwife checked my belly – it was the first time anyone had – and she said that the baby was head down. She noted that his spine was on my right hand side. She said that midwifes did not usually do this until mothers were 36 weeks pregnant as babies were prone to move.
It was constant noise (babies, buzzers, mothers) while I was on the ward. I woke up about 2.30am with a need to wee, baby moving about and faint period pains…. I think I had a total of 3 hours sleep. Saturday morning and I was put on the Monitor again for 30 mins but no tightenings were indicated. They also took a sample of my urine and said there were white blood cells detected / creatinine which could be an indication of a urine infection. I was asked how I felt and it was suggested that I was suffering from carpel tunnel in my hands and arms and that perhaps baby was lying on a nerve which was the pain I was experiencing in my right hand side. After being seen by the midwife, I then had to wait to be seen by the Dr. However, the only Dr was the on call Dr as it was the weekend. ‘Alex’ came to see me about 2pm and I was given antibiotics for the urine infection. There was talk of bed rest, being given steroids – which delays labour - and daily visits from the community midwife….. However, I was later let out at tea time without any of these things.
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