Third week...

.....and after this I promise to stop counting!!

Had a few sleepless nights at the beginning of the week as I tried to get Jamie to stay in his own bed, but he kept coming into mummy and daddy's bed, and then he had his terrible cough again which led to a couple of episodes of vomiting! Cousin Ant and his fiance came to visit one afternoon and I told them about his cough. It seems this is how Lucy was before her diagnosis of Asthma!! Not sure about this as Jamie's breathing is pretty good. Its just this terrible cough keeps coming back. Shall certainly keep an eye out for other symptoms though!

This week we booked and paid a deposit on a holiday in Dorset in July. This has really motivated me with regards to saving money and loosing weight, and it has also given us something to look forward to. I knew if we didn't book somewhere we would end up staying at home. That is not a bad thing if the weather is good, but I really wanted a holiday by the seaside for Jamie. Daddy has already done two Sundays to get some extra pennies and mummy is busy saving them (I promise)!

As for the job, am looking forward to next week when its finally my job with my desk, chair etc. Vicky did a fantastic job training me but I feel in order to learn the job properly I need to actually start doing the job myself! Lets hope I can remember what she has taught me!

Blog Baby 21

Congratulations to Paul and Kerry who had little Elliot this week weighing 4lb 12oz. Brother for Emily and Ella. Currently in the Special Care Baby Unit but getting better each day. Hope to see them all very soon!

Second week at work / nursery

.....not so many tears (from either of us) this time.

Spent a lot of time this week trying to sort out whether to take advantage of the Child Care Vouchers Scheme at work or wait and see if we will get more Child Tax Credit. A lady at work was very helpful and my chat with the tax people seems to suggest we are better off taking advantage of the voucher scheme run by the NHS.

Had a bit of a melt down on Thursday morning which led to an argument that should not have happened which was all mixed in with Jamie's tears. The blame was all mine and my silly notion of being clean and tidy and everything being in its place. Jamie had got up the same time as me and so he was under my feet as I tried to get 'everything' done, and then Daddy turned up from being on nights and I felt overwhelmed. A lot of this 'everything' could actually have waited and I upset the two most important people in my life.

Must remember that the house can wait. As long as I am ready for work and arn't late, and Jamie is ready for the day (whether Grandad, Nanna or Nursery) that is all that really matters.

First full day at Nursery...

....and it was tears all round! As we drove up to the Nursery Jamie knew where he was going and started to cry. I was on the verge as I carried him in and handed him over, and felt awful as I turned and walked away. It was certainly one of the worst days of motherhood I have had so far. A million thoughts ran through my mind; Why was I leaving him? Will he hate me for it? Will he still love me? Was I being selfish leaving him? etc. etc.

I rang the nursery when I got to work to see whether he had settled down. Then I rang Daddy and had to ring off so I didn't spoil my make up. Daddy sent a text later in the morning to say the nursery had rang home to say he had settled down and gone to sleep. I think that made me feel a little bit better, but all day I think I could have burst into tears very easily.

After work I went to pick him up and he was sat in a play train seat looking quite happy. He saw me and waved but didn't really seem to want to leave. He wanted to show me things and point things out to me. Two of the ladies sat down and told me how he had been all day; he had been a little bit tearful but had eaten two lots of dinner and been quite content most of the day. The nursery give each child a book into which they write any observations from the day. I think he is going to like it. I felt so much better. All my worries were for nothing (as usual!). Took him home, had some tea, and then sat watching CBeebies and cuddling. He didn't need much persuasion to go to bed as he was shattered.

As for mummy, the 20 hours passed quite quickly and although there is a lot to take in, she thinks she is going to like her new job. Although she has been very clingy with Jamie all weekend and didn't want to leave him Saturday night....I think it is going to be good for all of us for many different reasons.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

In an hour and a half I start my new job and I can't believe how relaxed I feel. I am actually looking forward to going. I think this is partly due to the fact that Jamie is still in bed. He is actually in bed with Daddy after waking up at 5.30am and coming into our room, but it has meant a nice calm morning so far.

Yesterday was far from calm as we took Jamie for his preview at his Nursery before he starts one day a week on Friday. There was a pile of paperwork to sort through and while I did this Daddy sat outside with Jamie. Then I walked past and Daddy handed Jamie over. The lady did a great job distracting him while we got in the car and left. We left him for an hour and when we returned he was sat colouring. But when he saw me he started crying. They said he had been playing outside, then came in and played with the tea set, had had some birthday cake and occasionally there had been a few tears. Once we got home he was hyper for the rest of the day. I am not sure if this is a good or bad sign. We shall see on Friday!!

Mummy has got a job!

Jamie is just about better now but I can't believe how much weight he has lost. We finally left the house on Friday after over a week of just bed, sleep and staying in (unless you count our exhausting visit to the Dr). Daddy and I were supposed to be going out Saturday night but we cancelled it as I just didn't feel happy leaving him yet. As it turned out, Jamie was back to himself last night and is certainly full of it this morning!!

But mummy is going to have to get used to leaving Jamie as finally; after 6 interviews in as many months, I have got a job working 20 hours a week for the NHS Payroll Services. Initially it is til the end of June but hopefully this will be extended.

On Thursday I went to meet with my supervisor and discussed times and days. This means since then it has been totally manic trying to sort out who will look after Jamie. Nanna has very kindly agreed to cover the part of Thursday that Daddy cannot, and we have got him a place at a local Nursery all day Friday. This just leaves Wednesday.....

Grandad came to play with Jamie for a few hours the week before Jamie got the bug. It gave me time to pop to the shops and then give the kitchen a bit of a clean. Just before Grandad was due to leave, I popped in to Jamie's room to see if Grandad wanted a cup of tea. Only to find him sitting in the cot with Jamie!! I was gobsmacked to say the least, and now suspect that it wasn't daddy after all who broke the cot.... I know Grandad loves Jamie to bits but I am not sure I want him looking after Jamie for very long while I am working. I am not too sure of his level of responsibility. He seems to turn into a child when playing with Jamie and I don't think it will be too long before Jamie is the more mature one!! Added to this we have the nightmare of Jamie's auntie who seems to think she has a monopoly over Grandad and could disrupt any plans I put in place for Grandad to look after Jamie.

Sickly Babies....

Its too quiet! Jamie is asleep in bed and that is where he has been since early Sunday morning when he started throwing up. Cousin Noah has also been under the weather. Following a head-on collision and nosebleed, at Ellas 2nd birthday party last Sunday, Noah was taken to A&E after he started being sick later in the night. They kept him in for a day and said that the sickness was not related to the bump on the head, and it was probably just a bug. As he was feeling better in the week me and Jamie popped along to see him on Friday. He certainly wasn't his usual self but had started eating.

Following daddy breaking the cot (but that's another story), we had bought Jamie a new single bed. So on Saturday, the plan was to have a chilled out night and put him to bed following a bath and a story. This didn't happen. He only went to bed after falling asleep in mummy's bed first and then daddy found him sleeping on the floor at 2am so he ended up in our bed again. But at 4am started being sick and has so far continued to bring up all he has eaten. Rang the Doctors this morning who requested I take him in. She seemed to think he had an ear infection so he has taken some Amoxicillin this morning and has slept ever since. I don't like it. I know I should be trying to use the time productively and catch up on jobs that need doing, but I can't help but worry! Fingers crossed he is better very soon....