Wisdoms of modern fathers

In Saturdays Times (20/06/09) there was a section entitled Wisdoms of modern fathers. Here are my favourites:

No one told me that I would be too knackered by the evening to want to go out, even if we do get a babysitter. No one told me that I'd never be able to look at a cardboard box again without wondering what I could turn it into with a breadknife and sticky tape. No one told me that my idea of an outfit for a 4 yr old girl would be met with snorts of derision from mother. No one told me that I would have to wrestle with Dr Seuss at 7 in the morning. Everyone told me becoming a father would change my life. But nothing could have prepared me for it.
Tim Rushby-Smith: Times Writer and father of Rosakie (4).

The Just You Waiters always tell you about the sleepless nights, and how difficult it is to get out the front door, and how you are aways missing one shoe when it is time to go, and how your life is no longer your own and well, it's all true. But what they can't tell you is that when the children are yours you will find that somehow it's all worth it. That's not something you can have explained to you. You have to experience it for yourself.
Daniel Finkelstein: Times writer and father of Sam (9). Aron (7) and Isaac (2)

Being a father means having to know everything. My dad knew everything and now, according to my son, so do I. Here are 10 questions I have had to answer in the past 18 months:
Daddy, can you unmake a cake?
Do some people have fat legs?
What's the messiest place on Earth?
Can I throw my sock at the television?
Can a goldfish breathe in a cup?
What are lemons made of?
Do caterpillars have bodies?
Who invented Shampoo?
When's next week?
How do threadworms get oxygen from your bum?
Are people edible?
Did the Elephant Man ever get any post?
Mackenzie Crook: Actor and father of Jude (6) and Scout (18mnths)

Fatherhood teaches you very quickly that, first, you are out of date and old fashioned and, second, that this applies particularly to your clothes. Nobody told me about what an effective cure it would be for selfishness. Suddenly, your own needs are nothing - the children's needs are everything. Nothing else teaches you that lesson so quickly, and effectively.
Alexander McCall Smith: Novelist and father of 2 daughters aged 22 and 25.