In Saturdays Times (20/06/09) there was a section entitled Wisdoms of modern fathers. Here are my favourites:
No one told me that I would be too knackered by the evening to want to go out, even if we do get a babysitter. No one told me that I'd never be able to look at a cardboard box again without wondering what I could turn it into with a breadknife and sticky tape. No one told me that my idea of an outfit for a 4 yr old girl would be met with snorts of derision from mother. No one told me that I would have to wrestle with Dr Seuss at 7 in the morning. Everyone told me becoming a father would change my life. But nothing could have prepared me for it.
Tim Rushby-Smith: Times Writer and father of Rosakie (4).
The Just You Waiters always tell you about the sleepless nights, and how difficult it is to get out the front door, and how you are aways missing one shoe when it is time to go, and how your life is no longer your own and well, it's all true. But what they can't tell you is that when the children are yours you will find that somehow it's all worth it. That's not something you can have explained to you. You have to experience it for yourself.
Daniel Finkelstein: Times writer and father of Sam (9). Aron (7) and Isaac (2)
Being a father means having to know everything. My dad knew everything and now, according to my son, so do I. Here are 10 questions I have had to answer in the past 18 months:
Daddy, can you unmake a cake?
Do some people have fat legs?
What's the messiest place on Earth?
Can I throw my sock at the television?
Can a goldfish breathe in a cup?
What are lemons made of?
Do caterpillars have bodies?
Who invented Shampoo?
When's next week?
How do threadworms get oxygen from your bum?
Are people edible?
Did the Elephant Man ever get any post?
Mackenzie Crook: Actor and father of Jude (6) and Scout (18mnths)
Fatherhood teaches you very quickly that, first, you are out of date and old fashioned and, second, that this applies particularly to your clothes. Nobody told me about what an effective cure it would be for selfishness. Suddenly, your own needs are nothing - the children's needs are everything. Nothing else teaches you that lesson so quickly, and effectively.
Alexander McCall Smith: Novelist and father of 2 daughters aged 22 and 25.
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Happy Fathers Day...
...although Daddy has yet to make it out of bed as he was out on the town last night. Jamie has bought Daddy a number of presents including a How to Sing Book, the DVD of Billy Liar and a fantastic mug with lots of Jamie's photos on from www.truprint.co.uk
I went out for most of the day yesterday and left Jamie with Daddy but Nanna came and took him out in his pram for a 2 hour walk. Daddy (and I) could get used to this - although I did miss him terribly while I was away! I feel that he is now less like a baby and becoming a little person. I am sure that he is taking things in a lot more now; he is looking around at things all the time. He loves the play gym that we bought him and lies quite content and gurgling in there once I have fed him. I bought him a couple of books (at the same time as I bought the Fathers Day presents) and he loves Faces (Baby's Very First Book) (Rag Book) by John Fordham (Illustrator).
Jamie had his first set of injections this week and I was more upset about it than he was!! He came away with a plaster on the top of each leg and I came away a wet blanket. But on our way out we met my gym buddy with our god-daughter who was going for her MMR....
While we were there though we did get him weighed and he is now 4.82kilos / 10.10lbs and his length is now 57cm. (Mummy has lost 3 and a half pounds in 4 weeks). We again discussed his sleeping and feeding patterns and the Health Visitor suggested increasing his feeds to 150ml (from 120ml at mo). However, she wasn't too sure about giving him water in the night as the Dr suggested...
His next set of injections are in 4 weeks so we shall see how much he weighs then, the little milk monster....
I went out for most of the day yesterday and left Jamie with Daddy but Nanna came and took him out in his pram for a 2 hour walk. Daddy (and I) could get used to this - although I did miss him terribly while I was away! I feel that he is now less like a baby and becoming a little person. I am sure that he is taking things in a lot more now; he is looking around at things all the time. He loves the play gym that we bought him and lies quite content and gurgling in there once I have fed him. I bought him a couple of books (at the same time as I bought the Fathers Day presents) and he loves Faces (Baby's Very First Book) (Rag Book) by John Fordham (Illustrator).
Jamie had his first set of injections this week and I was more upset about it than he was!! He came away with a plaster on the top of each leg and I came away a wet blanket. But on our way out we met my gym buddy with our god-daughter who was going for her MMR....
While we were there though we did get him weighed and he is now 4.82kilos / 10.10lbs and his length is now 57cm. (Mummy has lost 3 and a half pounds in 4 weeks). We again discussed his sleeping and feeding patterns and the Health Visitor suggested increasing his feeds to 150ml (from 120ml at mo). However, she wasn't too sure about giving him water in the night as the Dr suggested...
His next set of injections are in 4 weeks so we shall see how much he weighs then, the little milk monster....
Thursday, 18 June 2009
Baby Whisperer
Last week Jamie moved out of his moses basket and into his cot - although he still remains in our room. He is still waking at approximately 3 hourly intervals through the night and I have had a number of sleepless nights and - as a consequence - tearful days! This has not been helped by the fact that I have had a 2 and a half week (so far) period for which I have been taking antibiotics in case of infection. I have had a couple of internals and a number of swabs taken. I know my urine is OK as the results came back normal but apparently the other results take over a week. What has upset me though is that I have just read that women with Ovarian cysts are advised NOT to take the mini-pill!! Have therefore booked another appointment with my Dr just before the packet runs out next week - so hopefully my results will be back by then.
I finally got around to reading one of my 40th birthday presents this week (thanks to Karen, John and Sophie) and then sent Daddy off to work with it. Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. Coupled with advice from my Dr we are now following (or attempting to) the EASY routine and replacing one of his night feeds (4am) with water only. The EASY routine stands for Eating (25-40mins)/ Activity (45mins) / Sleep / You in that order! We have also been told by a few people that we are spoiling him by letting him fall asleep on us ("its no wonder he won't sleep in his cot") so we are trying hard not to let this happen - although it is hard not to when he is so cute!!
Did I mention Jamie has also had a number of incidents of projectile vomiting - one all over his Nanna? Very messy indeed!!
I finally got around to reading one of my 40th birthday presents this week (thanks to Karen, John and Sophie) and then sent Daddy off to work with it. Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. Coupled with advice from my Dr we are now following (or attempting to) the EASY routine and replacing one of his night feeds (4am) with water only. The EASY routine stands for Eating (25-40mins)/ Activity (45mins) / Sleep / You in that order! We have also been told by a few people that we are spoiling him by letting him fall asleep on us ("its no wonder he won't sleep in his cot") so we are trying hard not to let this happen - although it is hard not to when he is so cute!!
Did I mention Jamie has also had a number of incidents of projectile vomiting - one all over his Nanna? Very messy indeed!!
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Blog Babies 12 and 13
Brothers bridesmaid Katy and husband Gray had a baby boy on the 23rd May – William Graham 6lb 12oz
Friend and Hairdresser Karley and partner Ady had a little girl on the 3rd June (due date 26th May) weighing 7lb 15oz. They have called her Tilly Jayne.
Congratulations to both families!! xxx
Friend and Hairdresser Karley and partner Ady had a little girl on the 3rd June (due date 26th May) weighing 7lb 15oz. They have called her Tilly Jayne.
Congratulations to both families!! xxx
Sunday, 7 June 2009
The Illusion of Fear
Thanks to Ingrid Bacci at: www.ingridbacci.com for her latest email called; 'Your Best Life Strategy' which says:
You have the very best chance of living at the top of your game, and with the greatest degree of happiness, if you make your primary goal each moment of each day learning how to let go of fear. Fear is everywhere in our lives where we do not experience profound peace and its corollary, joy. Fear is identical with feeling that anything in life - absolutely anything - controls you. Fear is the experiential expression of disempowerment.
Fear is not always conscious, since it can hide itself under many covers. We are conscious of fear when we feel nervous or anxious. But fear also masks itself in other feelings and attitudes. For example, fear is the source of anger. We have no cause to be angry if we aren't afraid. We don't need to be competitive if we aren't afraid. Fear underlies the need to please, to be approved of, to be liked, and to be top dog. We don't need these if we are not afraid. Fear creates jealousy, resentment, disappointment and depression. We don't feel these feelings unless on some level we feel afraid of losing something.
All negative feelings come down to fear. And fear comes down to feeling that something outside you controls your fate, whether that is a person, a situation, an institution, or belief in a particular code of right and wrong. All fear creates fearful consequences. We drive ourselves sick with fear, drive others away through our fear or seek to control them, and live in judgment and fear of judgment. All this breeds a dark world - the world we live in.
The only solution to fear is letting go of the addiction to feeling disempowered, to feeling that we are somehow lacking. Whenever we feel fear - or anger, or need for approval, or disappointment, and so on - we try to control something or someone else or even ourselves, in order to feel better. But we can never win at this game. The more we try to control, the more we fear losing control. In the long run, fear breeds personal and social disaster.
To heal from fear is to refuse to listen to the reasons it gives us for feeling that way (Your ego will always find reasons for you to feel bad.) and to work instead on releasing ourselves from the feeling of fear in this moment. Let's say I notice that I am anxious about meeting a deadline. I work on releasing myself from my fear by breathing, relaxing tight muscles, or visualizing something peaceful. This shifts me slightly out of the fear. Then I approach my tasks from that slightly calmer place. And I repeat this process again and again, working on letting go of fear while I live my life. Over time, the fear simply dissolves, and I recognize it was really an illusion.
Let's say I am in an argument with someone. I notice the tension in my body, a tension that is all about fear, and I focus on observing and letting go of that tension as much as I can. Then I speak to the other person from a place of greater calm and less fear. This makes my life more pleasant as well as my communications more effective.
Moment by moment practice of releasing the internal experience of fear and cultivating the internal experience of peace is a life journey that can bring extraordinary results, if only you practice. You too can become truly peaceful in this chaotic world. You too can own an ocean of peace and joy in the midst of a life full of uncertainty. You too can let go of the illusion of fear.
You have the very best chance of living at the top of your game, and with the greatest degree of happiness, if you make your primary goal each moment of each day learning how to let go of fear. Fear is everywhere in our lives where we do not experience profound peace and its corollary, joy. Fear is identical with feeling that anything in life - absolutely anything - controls you. Fear is the experiential expression of disempowerment.
Fear is not always conscious, since it can hide itself under many covers. We are conscious of fear when we feel nervous or anxious. But fear also masks itself in other feelings and attitudes. For example, fear is the source of anger. We have no cause to be angry if we aren't afraid. We don't need to be competitive if we aren't afraid. Fear underlies the need to please, to be approved of, to be liked, and to be top dog. We don't need these if we are not afraid. Fear creates jealousy, resentment, disappointment and depression. We don't feel these feelings unless on some level we feel afraid of losing something.
All negative feelings come down to fear. And fear comes down to feeling that something outside you controls your fate, whether that is a person, a situation, an institution, or belief in a particular code of right and wrong. All fear creates fearful consequences. We drive ourselves sick with fear, drive others away through our fear or seek to control them, and live in judgment and fear of judgment. All this breeds a dark world - the world we live in.
The only solution to fear is letting go of the addiction to feeling disempowered, to feeling that we are somehow lacking. Whenever we feel fear - or anger, or need for approval, or disappointment, and so on - we try to control something or someone else or even ourselves, in order to feel better. But we can never win at this game. The more we try to control, the more we fear losing control. In the long run, fear breeds personal and social disaster.
To heal from fear is to refuse to listen to the reasons it gives us for feeling that way (Your ego will always find reasons for you to feel bad.) and to work instead on releasing ourselves from the feeling of fear in this moment. Let's say I notice that I am anxious about meeting a deadline. I work on releasing myself from my fear by breathing, relaxing tight muscles, or visualizing something peaceful. This shifts me slightly out of the fear. Then I approach my tasks from that slightly calmer place. And I repeat this process again and again, working on letting go of fear while I live my life. Over time, the fear simply dissolves, and I recognize it was really an illusion.
Let's say I am in an argument with someone. I notice the tension in my body, a tension that is all about fear, and I focus on observing and letting go of that tension as much as I can. Then I speak to the other person from a place of greater calm and less fear. This makes my life more pleasant as well as my communications more effective.
Moment by moment practice of releasing the internal experience of fear and cultivating the internal experience of peace is a life journey that can bring extraordinary results, if only you practice. You too can become truly peaceful in this chaotic world. You too can own an ocean of peace and joy in the midst of a life full of uncertainty. You too can let go of the illusion of fear.
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Military Operations...
Following on from my first night out without Jamie at the weekend (which went very well if only a little hungover), yesterday I met a group of 4 friends I used to work with for tea in a local pub - only 1 of them having a baby and all of them are younger than me. Jamie got even more presents; including a John Rocha little set!! Before I went I was very nervous but once I got there and Jamie was settled I really enjoyed it. It was nice not to talk just about babies but at times I did feel a bit 'out of it'. At least I am getting better with regards to being prepared. I have my free Boots changing bag which is now kept filled with all the necessities we might ever need when taking Jamie anywhere!! It still feels like a military operation every time we leave the house (one friend mentioned having to take a suitcase as well as a baby everywhere) but I think I am getting better and calmer at it! My OCD seems to have finally come in handy!! As for Daddy, following a visit from uncle and auntie and cousin Lucy last weekend he invested in a sling to carry Jamie around. It means Jamie is closer to his Daddy and therefore sleeps happily, and at the same time daddy can carry on as normal - well nearly. He can at least play the piano while having Jamie close!!
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