Stressed? Me?

Had one of those mornings.....went to bed early last night and woke up early, so decided to get up early, so I could catch up on all the bits of paper that seem to have accumulated.  I managed to get a few jobs done (washing up, sort clothes and a bit of tidying) but when I sat down with my tea - still relatively early - I was joined by Jamie!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my morning cuddles, but it was only just past 6am and I had been looking forward to some time on my own.  Added to this, daddy was still in bed, which means I need to keep Jamie quiet!!  Frustration!!

So this email from http://zenhabits.net/came at the right time:

The Art of Letting Go
1. Notice why you’re stressed. What external event is stressing you? Why is it stressing you out? What fear do you have?
2. Notice what you’re holding onto. If your response is fear, it’s because you’re holding onto something. It’s probably a fantasy/ideal, or wanting to control something, wanting something to turn out a certain way, wishing things would meet the expectations you have. If you’re saying, “He should do this” or “It should be like this” then you’re holding onto an ideal/expectation/outcome.
3. Realize that it’s not real. This fantasy, this expectation, this wishing you could control things … it’s just made up in your head. To be fair, we all do it. But it’s not a real thing — and it can be let go of.
4. See that it’s hurting you. This thing you’ve made up is causing you stress, which is shortening your life, and making what short life you have less enjoyable. It’s causing pain in your life. Realize this.
5. Let go. If something you’ve made up is causing pain, why hold onto it? It’s not worth it. By letting go, you release the pain, and are just left with you and the work you need to do.

The email goes onto say: Your son is stressing you out because he’s not doing what he should be doing. You’re mad! Why can’t he just do what you ask? Of course, this is a fantasy. Your kids (or friends, or spouse) are not going to live up to these expectations you have of how they should behave — these expectations aren’t anything real, just fantasies. You can’t control their behavior — wanting to do so just stresses you out. So let go of that expectation and the desire to control, and the stress goes away. Instead, open your heart, and be open to who they are.