After all the trauma of last time we decided to pay for an early scan. We had booked it in for 8 weeks exactly (by my calculations) but after I came home ill from work on Wednesday we decided to go earlier. Thus we booked an appointment for Saturday morning. I was still quite nauseous. This was made worse by a dose of diarrhea which the Doctor felt I was actually making worse with my lucozade and banana habit!! Arrived early - and its very nice and only 5 mins down the road - and our concerns were quickly alleviated as the Doctor said almost immediately 'No need to worry. It all looks fine.' He measured the baby / blob at 1.12cm - almost nothing at all - and we got to hear a heartbeat. So, all looks well at the moment. Fingers crossed now for the 'official' scan in 3 weeks time.
As I had nearly 3 days off work last week I thought it was best being honest with them, so I rang the temping agency this morning and explained the situation. I am also contemplating whether or not to continue with my Teaching Assistant course as this may be the last year they do this particular syllabus and if I leave early I may have to start again from scratch next year........and always at the back of my mind is the thought; 'what if it all goes wrong?'
Monday, 29 September 2008
Sunday, 21 September 2008
My boobs are like bowling balls!!
I started this Blog on Sunday 1st July 2007 when I was 6 weeks pregnant for the first time. I write this today and I am two days short of 7 weeks. Writing it down makes me feel slightly nervous - as if I have now cursed myself for the second time.
Have only told my gym buddy and her hubby so far. As I am not really speaking to my mother it will probably be after the scan before we tell her. As I said before, that was one of the biggest mistakes we made last time - telling her. This time we have certainly talked about it less between ourselves. We have decided to 'wait and see' what happens in the next few weeks, but at least I know what to look for this time and if anything happens I will be straight down the hospital and won't be fobbed off!! One thing is for sure - I cannot have time off sick because if I don't work I won't get paid. This will mean I won't have the excuse to sit on my arse doing nothing - which last time (I feel) led to the miscarriage taking such a long time to happen. By the look of my early blogs I made it to 7 and a half weeks before the morning sickness really got bad. However, by that time we have been told, the baby was probably already dead (told it was about 5 weeks when it stopped growing).
I have received my scan date and thankfully it is at 11 weeks this time. However, we are also going to see about a private scan at 8-9 weeks just to re-assure ourselves....
I certainly feel fitter than I did last time. I had just begun to loose the weight that I had put on. This is partly due to working in the library and moving about a lot during the day - instead of just sitting at a computer like last time - and I have been keeping quite fit over the summer. I also feel a lot more positive within myself and more settled.
That's my 'Things to do in my 40th year' list buggered.....
Have only told my gym buddy and her hubby so far. As I am not really speaking to my mother it will probably be after the scan before we tell her. As I said before, that was one of the biggest mistakes we made last time - telling her. This time we have certainly talked about it less between ourselves. We have decided to 'wait and see' what happens in the next few weeks, but at least I know what to look for this time and if anything happens I will be straight down the hospital and won't be fobbed off!! One thing is for sure - I cannot have time off sick because if I don't work I won't get paid. This will mean I won't have the excuse to sit on my arse doing nothing - which last time (I feel) led to the miscarriage taking such a long time to happen. By the look of my early blogs I made it to 7 and a half weeks before the morning sickness really got bad. However, by that time we have been told, the baby was probably already dead (told it was about 5 weeks when it stopped growing).
I have received my scan date and thankfully it is at 11 weeks this time. However, we are also going to see about a private scan at 8-9 weeks just to re-assure ourselves....
I certainly feel fitter than I did last time. I had just begun to loose the weight that I had put on. This is partly due to working in the library and moving about a lot during the day - instead of just sitting at a computer like last time - and I have been keeping quite fit over the summer. I also feel a lot more positive within myself and more settled.
That's my 'Things to do in my 40th year' list buggered.....
Thursday, 18 September 2008
A Quote to Remember...
'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.' - Mark Twain
Saturday, 13 September 2008
Living Magically Newsletter 33
Whatever is happening in your life right now, remember that everything is always unfolding perfectly. In a loving Universe, how could it be otherwise? If anything is happening which you do not like, it is helping you clarify what you desire. And the Universe is guiding you to focus on what you desire and appreciate – so that you attract what you want into your life.
The basic tools of reality creation are simple. Putting them into practice is all about becoming more conscious – choosing thoughts that feel good, instead of repeating old habits of thought. Then we evolve our consciousness, and our reality shifts.
Here are three rules which I keep reminding myself about:
1) Focus on what you want, not on What Is – or what is wrong or missing. (Visualise your desire. Feel it. Expect it. And then it must be.)
2) Appreciate each and every moment. Think about anything that makes you feel good. Even when what you get is not what you want, remind yourself that this ‘contrast’ is helping you clarify what you want. Then focus on that instead!
3) Remember that the Universe is always on your side – and is knocking itself out to bring you the events and circumstances you want. All you have to do is get happy!
If you have three minutes to spare, check out this fun, uplifting U-Tube video – The Gratitude Dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9z2ELaBVJY
http://www.livingmagically.co.uk/
The basic tools of reality creation are simple. Putting them into practice is all about becoming more conscious – choosing thoughts that feel good, instead of repeating old habits of thought. Then we evolve our consciousness, and our reality shifts.
Here are three rules which I keep reminding myself about:
1) Focus on what you want, not on What Is – or what is wrong or missing. (Visualise your desire. Feel it. Expect it. And then it must be.)
2) Appreciate each and every moment. Think about anything that makes you feel good. Even when what you get is not what you want, remind yourself that this ‘contrast’ is helping you clarify what you want. Then focus on that instead!
3) Remember that the Universe is always on your side – and is knocking itself out to bring you the events and circumstances you want. All you have to do is get happy!
If you have three minutes to spare, check out this fun, uplifting U-Tube video – The Gratitude Dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9z2ELaBVJY
http://www.livingmagically.co.uk/
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
In My 40th Year.......
Nearing 40 makes you think about things…………….
A friend once told me – just after reaching 40 – that she felt life did begin. You begin to accept and understand you body and your life, and you stop worrying about all the crap like how you look compared to celebrities, and how well you have faired against your contemporaries.
I decided, as I think a lot of people do, to put together a list of things yet to be done in my life. This made me think about things that I have done in my life and so far I don't think I have been a complete failure!!
So - Things to Do in My 40th Year (This means I have still got time to add a few items to make it a round 40) :
1. Become the same weight I was at 30 for my 40th birthday!
2. Organise a naff 40th party and make everybody dance even though they don’t want to!!
3. Celebrate my 40th with lobster and champagne.
4. Finish one (if not all) of the 3 Novels I have started writing.
5. Have an article and / or short story published.
6. Give Colonic Irrigation a go.
7. Have my legs and bits waxed.
8. Be photographed in the nude in High Wycombe (after loosing the weight!).
9. See Otters in the wild on the Isle of Skye.
10. Have afternoon tea at the Ritz.
11. Grow my own vegetables and salad and actually eat them.
12. Visit Amsterdam and eat a ‘cake’.
13. Spend the night in a Haunted House.
14. Make lasagna from scratch and eat it!!
15. Spend a Night at Burgh Island a la Agatha Christie.
16. Become a ‘Prisoner’ in Port Merion.
17. Go skinny-dipping – possibly in a waterfall.
18. Have a swanky ‘spa’ bathroom with Jacuzzi and power shower without moving house!!
19. Get the garden sorted.
20. Have a real tattoo done somewhere on my body.
21. Take a Dance Class – Salsa or Rumba - or have some more Pole dancing lessons.
22. Go to a casino in England and play roulette.
23. Learn to totally Relax.
24. Attend a photography course.
25. Attain my Bronze Lifesaving Medallion.
26. Have a ride on the back of a motorbike.
27. Have another attempt at Rock climbing.
28. Go waterskiing.
29. Write a song and have it performed.
30. Learn to play the drums.
31. Run a 10K.
32. Get married
33. Learn to read the Tarot.
34. Complete a first aid course.
35. Host a refined dinner party and do all the cooking myself.
36. Complete a car maintenance course.
37. Help to save the planet.
38. Plan 50 things to do before I am 50….
A friend once told me – just after reaching 40 – that she felt life did begin. You begin to accept and understand you body and your life, and you stop worrying about all the crap like how you look compared to celebrities, and how well you have faired against your contemporaries.
I decided, as I think a lot of people do, to put together a list of things yet to be done in my life. This made me think about things that I have done in my life and so far I don't think I have been a complete failure!!
So - Things to Do in My 40th Year (This means I have still got time to add a few items to make it a round 40) :
1. Become the same weight I was at 30 for my 40th birthday!
2. Organise a naff 40th party and make everybody dance even though they don’t want to!!
3. Celebrate my 40th with lobster and champagne.
4. Finish one (if not all) of the 3 Novels I have started writing.
5. Have an article and / or short story published.
6. Give Colonic Irrigation a go.
7. Have my legs and bits waxed.
8. Be photographed in the nude in High Wycombe (after loosing the weight!).
9. See Otters in the wild on the Isle of Skye.
10. Have afternoon tea at the Ritz.
11. Grow my own vegetables and salad and actually eat them.
12. Visit Amsterdam and eat a ‘cake’.
13. Spend the night in a Haunted House.
14. Make lasagna from scratch and eat it!!
15. Spend a Night at Burgh Island a la Agatha Christie.
16. Become a ‘Prisoner’ in Port Merion.
17. Go skinny-dipping – possibly in a waterfall.
18. Have a swanky ‘spa’ bathroom with Jacuzzi and power shower without moving house!!
19. Get the garden sorted.
20. Have a real tattoo done somewhere on my body.
21. Take a Dance Class – Salsa or Rumba - or have some more Pole dancing lessons.
22. Go to a casino in England and play roulette.
23. Learn to totally Relax.
24. Attend a photography course.
25. Attain my Bronze Lifesaving Medallion.
26. Have a ride on the back of a motorbike.
27. Have another attempt at Rock climbing.
28. Go waterskiing.
29. Write a song and have it performed.
30. Learn to play the drums.
31. Run a 10K.
32. Get married
33. Learn to read the Tarot.
34. Complete a first aid course.
35. Host a refined dinner party and do all the cooking myself.
36. Complete a car maintenance course.
37. Help to save the planet.
38. Plan 50 things to do before I am 50….
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