Jamie had two nights without mummy and daddy this weekend. It wasn't planned that way, but ages ago mummy and daddy bought tickets to see Comedian Sean Hughes on the Friday night (who was brilliant) and then shortly after that they were invited to a wedding reception on the Saturday.
This meant that Nana came to sit with Jamie Friday night and then Jamie had a sleepover at Nana's on Saturday. Prior to taking him to Nana's on Saturday night though, we went to a firework party at cousin Noah's. I had originally said we would not go as it would be too much for all of us, but I am glad I made the effort as Jamie (and mummy) had a great time. We left early (after some lovely fireworks) and mummy did a quick change before dropping Jamie off at Nana's. He was still hyper after the party but Nana said he soon dropped off and other than his usual kicking about in bed was very well behaved.
Sunday morning we picked him up just after 10am and went to get some shopping. While we were at Asda we saw some dressing up outfits. I had been looking for a fireman outfit for him, but instead came away with a Superman outfit. At nursery they have recently been playing 'superheros' and while we were out shopping the other day Jamie actually put his coat around his neck - a la cape. Its amazing how these toddler traits go from generation to generation.
When we got back home Jamie put his outfit on straightaway and Dale found some clips on the Internet from the Superman films. The only worry now, is that he thinks he can actually fly when he has his cape on. Thank goodness we live in a bungalow!!
Monday, 5 November 2012
Saturday, 3 November 2012
“Being” as an Alternative to “Doing”
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.”
― Eckhart Tolle
New research on the brain in the past 10 years has shed a light on how much past experience and the desire to avoid pain shapes our brain pathways. Our brains were designed first and foremost to help us survive and pass on our genes, and therefore have automatic negative biases and orientations towards danger. We automatically scan our worlds for past mistakes we dare not repeat, and future threats we try desperately to avoid and prepare to deal with. In so doing, we lose touch with present-moment experience and limit our abilities to spontaneously experience positive states such as joy, connection, and love. Teaching ourselves to focus on the present moment can train our brain pathways towards more deliberate and positive experiencing.
Savor the Moment!
John Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction therapy suggests that our brains operate primarily in “Doing” Mode. We actively use our minds to solve problems, make plans, anticipate obstacles, evaluate how far we are from desired goals and choose between alternatives by judging their relative value. While “Doing” mode is extremely useful for helping us advance in our careers, be popular, lose weight, and a myriad of other life tasks, it falls short when it comes to managing emotions. Emotions cannot be reasoned away or “solved” and evaluating how far we are from feeling as happy as we’d like to feel only makes us feel worse. This type of thinking can actually exacerbate “sad” emotions by introducing a second layer in which we criticize or judge ourselves for being sad. “Doing” mode also doesn’t work when there is nothing we can do to change the situation. We may desperately want to be married, rich, loved, or successful, but we cannot force these outcomes to happen right away, even with the best of efforts. “Doing" mode can also lead to disheartening comparisons with people we feel are doing better than us and ruminations of why we are not where they are.
Now, nobody is suggesting that we give up “Doing” mode altogether. If this were the case, we would never even find our keys to get out the front door. However, there is another way of being that many of us are not even aware of, and that is “Being” Mode. Unlike its counterpart, “Being” mode is not action-oriented, evaluative, or future-focused. It involves slowing down our minds and deliberately grounding ourselves by focusing on what we are experiencing right now. In "Being” mode, it is okay to just be us, whatever we happen to be experiencing; we do not try to change our thoughts or emotions into more positive ones or shut out aspects of our experience. Rather, we begin to develop a different relationship with our own senses, bodily states and emotions by deliberately focusing on what they are trying to tell us and allowing ourselves to be compassionately open to these messages.
“Being” mode involves accepting what is, because it will be there anyway. We begin to release energy, relax, and let go of the struggle to mould our reality into our preconceived ideas of what it should be. We begin to let go of judgments and regrets about the past and fear of the future. Rather than berating ourselves for not achieving the status in life we think we deserve or are entitled to, we allow ourselves to look fully and open-mindedly at where we are. Eventually we realize that this may not be so bad. We learn to extend love, compassion, and kindness to ourselves, and everything around us, rather than compartmentalizing reality into “good” and “bad,” or “winners” and “losers.” We are all infinitely more complex than what we earn or own; we are lovable and interesting, just by being human. This moment is just this moment and not where we are stuck forever. Ironically, by accepting the present, we open up space for internal and external movement and change.
Learning to Be Present With Yourself: The Power of Living an Engaged Life by Melanie A. Greenberg
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201204/learning-be-present-yourself
― Eckhart Tolle
New research on the brain in the past 10 years has shed a light on how much past experience and the desire to avoid pain shapes our brain pathways. Our brains were designed first and foremost to help us survive and pass on our genes, and therefore have automatic negative biases and orientations towards danger. We automatically scan our worlds for past mistakes we dare not repeat, and future threats we try desperately to avoid and prepare to deal with. In so doing, we lose touch with present-moment experience and limit our abilities to spontaneously experience positive states such as joy, connection, and love. Teaching ourselves to focus on the present moment can train our brain pathways towards more deliberate and positive experiencing.
Savor the Moment!
John Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction therapy suggests that our brains operate primarily in “Doing” Mode. We actively use our minds to solve problems, make plans, anticipate obstacles, evaluate how far we are from desired goals and choose between alternatives by judging their relative value. While “Doing” mode is extremely useful for helping us advance in our careers, be popular, lose weight, and a myriad of other life tasks, it falls short when it comes to managing emotions. Emotions cannot be reasoned away or “solved” and evaluating how far we are from feeling as happy as we’d like to feel only makes us feel worse. This type of thinking can actually exacerbate “sad” emotions by introducing a second layer in which we criticize or judge ourselves for being sad. “Doing” mode also doesn’t work when there is nothing we can do to change the situation. We may desperately want to be married, rich, loved, or successful, but we cannot force these outcomes to happen right away, even with the best of efforts. “Doing" mode can also lead to disheartening comparisons with people we feel are doing better than us and ruminations of why we are not where they are.
Now, nobody is suggesting that we give up “Doing” mode altogether. If this were the case, we would never even find our keys to get out the front door. However, there is another way of being that many of us are not even aware of, and that is “Being” Mode. Unlike its counterpart, “Being” mode is not action-oriented, evaluative, or future-focused. It involves slowing down our minds and deliberately grounding ourselves by focusing on what we are experiencing right now. In "Being” mode, it is okay to just be us, whatever we happen to be experiencing; we do not try to change our thoughts or emotions into more positive ones or shut out aspects of our experience. Rather, we begin to develop a different relationship with our own senses, bodily states and emotions by deliberately focusing on what they are trying to tell us and allowing ourselves to be compassionately open to these messages.
“Being” mode involves accepting what is, because it will be there anyway. We begin to release energy, relax, and let go of the struggle to mould our reality into our preconceived ideas of what it should be. We begin to let go of judgments and regrets about the past and fear of the future. Rather than berating ourselves for not achieving the status in life we think we deserve or are entitled to, we allow ourselves to look fully and open-mindedly at where we are. Eventually we realize that this may not be so bad. We learn to extend love, compassion, and kindness to ourselves, and everything around us, rather than compartmentalizing reality into “good” and “bad,” or “winners” and “losers.” We are all infinitely more complex than what we earn or own; we are lovable and interesting, just by being human. This moment is just this moment and not where we are stuck forever. Ironically, by accepting the present, we open up space for internal and external movement and change.
Learning to Be Present With Yourself: The Power of Living an Engaged Life by Melanie A. Greenberg
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201204/learning-be-present-yourself
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Halloween Party 2012
Looks like this is going to be a yearly event. People seem to just expect it of us. This year we even re-introduced the fireworks element!!
Taking note of previous parties, see: http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/happy-halloween.html and http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/pirate-party.html we decided to stick to the usual Halloween food - hot dogs and mushy peas with mint sauce. Cobbs brought some chilli and more hot dogs, nana brought some pumpkin soup and there was plenty of cakes and crisps brought as well! I didn't buy many sweets this year as I was conscious of Jamie's teeth and him not really liking them, but it seems he may be in the minority, as the morning after there were sweet wrappers (and cheese puffs) everywhere. Lots of paper plates and cups made the washing up easier and I used Jamie's plastic pirate tablecloth to reduce the mess.
Prior to the party we had to make sure the garden was child friendly and spent last weekend sorting out the garden, the shed and the garage; putting away a lot of the summer items, cleaning all Jamie's outdoor toys and generally clearing out and away. Daddy bought some new black wall units for the garage so that he could get most things off the floor and away. Then he started on the transformation....I did go in during the week and suggest it might need toning down for the 3 year olds, but he still managed to scare them. Even Jamie refused to go in at first! Forgot to use the bubble machine and there has been a request for a new smoke machine as it was felt this would have added to the spooky atmosphere, but no one said it didn't feel like Halloween!!
The house was tame by comparison with lots of Halloween balloons and orange and black tinsel as well as my new pumpkin lights and the 'Trick or Treat' sign we bought at Butlins a few weeks ago! Kerry and the girls brought a carved pumpkin which we had in the garden. I bought a fantastic 3 CD Halloween collection for the party and we had one disc playing in the dining room and one on in the garage.
I did (once again) buy a multi pack of toilet rolls to play the 'mummy' game but the children seemed to organise themselves quite happily on Jamie's park and in Jamie's room. For those that braved daddy's garage there was some dancing and glow sticks! I had printed off some Halloween pictures for them to colour in if bored, but these did not get used until Sunday morning.
We had 23 people attend altogether; 13 adults and 10 children. Glad to say most of them came in fancy dress!! Again, it took ages for some of the adults to get ready; what with all their make up. Poor old Jamie got told off after I found he had scribbled felt pen over his face. But he was only copying daddy, uncle Dean and auntie Chrissie.
We weren't going to have fireworks but after someone suggested it we did buy a few, as well as some sparklers - which everyone loved!! Jack started a fire; which was well needed with some of daddy's rubbish from the garden, but it still wasn't enough to keep us all warm once the sun had gone down. Seeing as there had been snow on the garden first thing however, it could have been a lot colder! But the weather was rather cold and not many made it to the end of the fireworks. The little ones were inside watching Peppa Pig soon after the sparklers.
Thank god we turned the clocks back the next day. Lucy and Jamie were still up early but at least we had an extra hour to clean up! And then we all relaxed watching Carry On Screaming.
Daddy has already started planning next years party....
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Jamie hasn't realised the clocks have changed....
Still up at the crack of dawn - 5.45am this morning!
Friday, 26 October 2012
Primary School Decision Changed??
Oh no, still confused.....
I am honestly having sleepless nights. I have been waking in the night with thoughts of schools and Jamie's little face next to mine (but that's because he is still in our bed!)
For a couple of days following my last entry regarding our school decision http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/primary-school-decision-made.html I was happy. Then daddy started to put doubts into my mind.....
Consequently, we have decided to go back to the second (bigger) school on the list and have booked an appointment to take Jamie around next Tuesday. I went out with a friend this week whose two children already go there and I was impressed at what she had to say. I also know that she thought long and hard about where she was going to send them and visited more schools that we have so far. And I keep going back to the 'feeling' I had from that school on the open evening.....
Perhaps the small, friendly school is too small and could get unfriendly very quickly. The more I think about the parents that were helping out that day, the more I wonder whether we would really fit in and if we don't what happens then? A few people have mentioned to me that they thought the school was a bit 'snobby' and one parent with her children already there said it could be a bit 'clicky'.
I also wonder that with a small school, Jamie could end up being singled out for something and having that tag all the way through school.....
Also, is it good that two (small) year groups are taught together, with a total of only 5 classes in the whole school. At least at the bigger school if classes are merged it is because of ability rather than necessity!
And don't get me started on the Ofsted results. Yes, I have checked them for all the local schools so I do know how they all compare with each other. It's just another factor to get confused about. Just going for a long lie down in a dark room.
I am honestly having sleepless nights. I have been waking in the night with thoughts of schools and Jamie's little face next to mine (but that's because he is still in our bed!)
For a couple of days following my last entry regarding our school decision http://grumpymumtobe.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/primary-school-decision-made.html I was happy. Then daddy started to put doubts into my mind.....
Consequently, we have decided to go back to the second (bigger) school on the list and have booked an appointment to take Jamie around next Tuesday. I went out with a friend this week whose two children already go there and I was impressed at what she had to say. I also know that she thought long and hard about where she was going to send them and visited more schools that we have so far. And I keep going back to the 'feeling' I had from that school on the open evening.....
Perhaps the small, friendly school is too small and could get unfriendly very quickly. The more I think about the parents that were helping out that day, the more I wonder whether we would really fit in and if we don't what happens then? A few people have mentioned to me that they thought the school was a bit 'snobby' and one parent with her children already there said it could be a bit 'clicky'.
I also wonder that with a small school, Jamie could end up being singled out for something and having that tag all the way through school.....
Also, is it good that two (small) year groups are taught together, with a total of only 5 classes in the whole school. At least at the bigger school if classes are merged it is because of ability rather than necessity!
And don't get me started on the Ofsted results. Yes, I have checked them for all the local schools so I do know how they all compare with each other. It's just another factor to get confused about. Just going for a long lie down in a dark room.
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
Let it be noted...
.......that at 12:48pm on Wednesday 24th October 2012, Jamie Simpson's bedroom was clean and tidy with everything in its place!
Taking bets on how long it will last...
Taking bets on how long it will last...
Saturday, 20 October 2012
Monster Toddler......
.......and its not even Halloween!
What a day!! Jamie has been carrying around his Ben and Holly party invitation ever since Sophie sent it to him. When I announced to him this morning that today was the day of the party he was really excited. Mummy was looking forward to it as well, as she had not seen Sophie's mum and dad for ages and there was lots to catch up on!!
However, after loading the car with bags and presents and mummies camera, and driving the 20 minutes to the sports centre; when we got there, Jamie refused to stay. He just walked into the gymnasium where it was being held and then ran out.
I tried a number of times to get him to go back in. Carrying him, dragging him, being nice, being nasty, but to no avail. The tears were streaming down his face and he truly was distraught. We went back to sit in the car and calm down, but even then I could not get him to go back into the party. So we went home.
When me and daddy asked him why he wouldn't stay, he said it was "Too loud". Later on he said it was "not a pirate bouncy castle". Good job we have got that one for the Christmas party!!
What a day!! Jamie has been carrying around his Ben and Holly party invitation ever since Sophie sent it to him. When I announced to him this morning that today was the day of the party he was really excited. Mummy was looking forward to it as well, as she had not seen Sophie's mum and dad for ages and there was lots to catch up on!!
However, after loading the car with bags and presents and mummies camera, and driving the 20 minutes to the sports centre; when we got there, Jamie refused to stay. He just walked into the gymnasium where it was being held and then ran out.
I tried a number of times to get him to go back in. Carrying him, dragging him, being nice, being nasty, but to no avail. The tears were streaming down his face and he truly was distraught. We went back to sit in the car and calm down, but even then I could not get him to go back into the party. So we went home.
When me and daddy asked him why he wouldn't stay, he said it was "Too loud". Later on he said it was "not a pirate bouncy castle". Good job we have got that one for the Christmas party!!
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