Have you read David Icke?

You really must. Forget the mad chap on the Wogan Show. This is serious stuff and as Oscar Wilde once said: "Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation"

Do It!! www.davidicke.com

Todays Quotes:

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." Albert Einstein.


After emerging from a cell measuring 7ft by 7ft, Nelson Mandela, President of South Africa, described how this had been his home for 18 years: "There were pleasant and unpleasant experiences" he said, "and it depends on how you look at the situation".

A bit of a dark cloud....

....descended for a while back there but I think I can see the light!! Today I have been having a bit of a brain clear out and have been looking through my 'relaxation' folder and reminding myself of the things that are important in this life.

My mother is still not speaking to me and I suppose she will be blaming me - and telling anyone who will listen that I did not invite her to a BarBQ we had a few weeks back - but it wasn't that kind of party, there were no other 'oldies' coming and she would have simply spent all night fawning over my brother (which I did say to her!) so no one would have enjoyed themselves!! As it turned out I managed to have a nice conversation with my sister-in-law at said BarBQ and it made me feel better about the whole 'mother' issue!! OK so a week later I was found crying on my brothers knee about said issue in the pub - but one to many wines and......

What I need to remind myself (again) is the need to take time out for myself and The Bull. Since being back in full time work I forgot about 'me' time and was trying to fill all the time with 'musts' and 'shoulds'. Today has been a bit me time, a bit should-time and a bit de-clutter time. And then tonight is to be a getting dressed up and going out with The Bull time......

NHS Reply to my Complaint....

I've had the reply to my letter for weeks now. I suppose I knew what they would say. I have carried it around with me trying to get the strength together to read it.... Dated 15th July they did investigate - with the time extension - in the time frame they gave me and I can't really complain (again) as they do seem to have investigated my concerns. The letter gives the impression that all persons involved were consulted in order to address my concerns - and offer an apology - so for that at least I am happy.

I don't suppose there is any use in replying anyway. Nothing more is going to happen and re-reading the letter and going over the events of the last year are not going to help anyone - and definitely not me!!

Do You Have A Clear Conscience?

Today I received this piece of advice from the Learn to Relax Newsletter http://www.the4thr.co.uk/news-66.html

People who live stress free tend to rely on their intuition and conscience much more than those who are perpetually stressed. Stressed people often do things that are based upon what other people will think of them rather than turning inward and making their conscience the ‘jury' they check against.

When a person is living with a clear conscience they tend to be in better health than their stressed counterpart because they're not carrying around all the mental baggage that's a by-product of living in conflict with the conscience.

The bottom line is that it may be possible to fool another person, but you can never fool yourself, so my tip for this month is this: Ask yourself whether all your dealings are congruent with your conscience. If they aren't, abandon them for the sake of your health (if nothing else!) because a universal law dictates that whatever you sow, you shall reap.

Now, take a deep breath....

I have got a job!! Bloody hell, how long has it been? Well, I finished my Teaching Assistant course on Tuesday morning - currently awaiting my results - and in the afternoon I returned to find a message on the answer machine saying 'was I interested in a job down the road and when could I start?' So far I have done 2 days and they were exhausting days but enjoyable. And at 7.50 an hour The Bull is very pleased!!

I did book myself in for acupuncture the day before I started. This was for two main reasons; obviously the start of a new job, but also this should be my most fertile weekend, so I asked for a bit of help. We shall wait and see what happens - probably be too tired!!!

One Year On....

It's one year since I started this Blog. If things had worked out I should now have a 4 month old baby. But I haven't!!! What has happened is that I have spent more time in hospital than ever before, I have left the full time job I had 12 months ago and I have started (and nearly finished) a Teaching Assistant Course - although am officially unemployed as I am claiming Job Seekers Allowance. I have had a number of major rows with my mother as I try to discover the meaning of family and deal with both the miscarriage and the death of my father, as well as see a number of friends get pregnant and have babies while I sit and watch. However, I can't say I am depressed at this moment in time. I feel the best I have felt in a long time - even before 'the trouble'. I feel quite healthy and happy with my lot and following the fiasco with my operation, me and the Bull have started to 'Scatter-bomb the area' so I have not completely given up hope!!

What was upsetting for a few days - more so for the Bull than me - was the news that the Bulls brother and his wife are pregnant and due early February - almost a year after I would have been due! The aim now is to catch them up.......